21–29 of 29 posts
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Someone will usually poat an archive.is link in the thread for paywalled articles
Don't wait for someone to post the link, just go to archive.is and paste the NYT link there yourself. Or you could use a browser extension to open these links on archive.is automatically. But, is it against the rules to directly post archive.is links of pay walled articles on HN?
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> This feels accusatory but I'm unsure if you mean it that way A little yes You are complaining about "toxic masculinity" while also still practicing the parts that are truly toxic, like not having male friends or being open with your feelings to other men
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Someone will usually poat an archive.is link in the thread for paywalled articles
Don't wait for someone to post the link, just go to archive.is and paste the NYT link there yourself. Or you could use a browser extension to open these links on archive.is automatically. But, is it against the rules to directly post archive.is links of pay walled articles on HN?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Kind of sucks to be assumed that people with my views would have the idea that males should suffer in silence. Your only friends are women and you would feel conversations about your feelings and emotions would be inappropriate with other men So what do you think men who only have male friends do? They suffer in silence You may not feel like they "should" suffer in silence, but your beliefs are such that if you did…
> I don't think it's inappropriate to talk about your feelings with other men. Nor do I. Yet those times when I have tried the results have too often been negative. Once the topic is broached some guys get stuck in downward spirals during conversation. And it's hard to make it clear you hear them without reinforcing their insecurities. Others will go and tell mutual friends that you over share or are too emotional. C…
It starts with men not caring if other men say they're too emotional, or that they over share or whatever else. It starts with men allowing themselves to be vulnerable and setting an example for one another, especially older men showing younger men that's ok
Shying away from this is part of the problem
The author, Ruth Whippman, is a "current affairs" journalist and documentary maker. In other words, she has made a career of picking trending pop-psychology topics and writing fluff commentary on them. Her books have subtitles like "Why are we driving ourselves crazy and how can we stop?"
Having said this, one pattern in how adult men behave emerges very clearly, at least to me, living in a middle-class US suburb. Men don't have a habit of building community. Women do.
For example, my suburb and neighboring ones have subreddit communities. Those subs regularly get posts from new arrivals who have trouble finding friends.
On average, female posters mostly get responses from other women, and most of the responses are about making plans to exchange contacts, get together as a group, and try activities together.
On average, male posters get grouchy responses from other men telling them that they aren't trying hard enough or creatively enough.
Women in my area have built social organizations that reach out to female newcomers and try to pair them up with other women looking for activity partners. Men have not.
This is yet another editorial that rehashes cliches about "toxic masculinity" and the "loneliness epidemic." Not to say these cliches don't have a basis in reality, but let's remember that this is an editorial whose purpose is to drive sales of the guest author's book. The author, Ruth Whippman, is a "current affairs" journalist and documentary maker. In other words, she has made a career of picking trending pop-psyc…
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> Kind of sucks to be assumed that people with my views would have the idea that males should suffer in silence. Your only friends are women and you would feel conversations about your feelings and emotions would be inappropriate with other men So what do you think men who only have male friends do? They suffer in silence You may not feel like they "should" suffer in silence, but your beliefs are such that if you did…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Someone will usually poat an archive.is link in the thread for paywalled articles
Don't wait for someone to post the link, just go to archive.is and paste the NYT link there yourself. Or you could use a browser extension to open these links on archive.is automatically. But, is it against the rules to directly post archive.is links of pay walled articles on HN?
It is discouraged in the guidelines. But you can also post a paywall bypass in the comments of your own submission if you would like.
> "Please submit the original source. If a post reports on something found on another site, submit the latter."
https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
> "Don't wait for someone to post the link, just go to archive.is and paste the NYT link there yourself."
Yes and also paste the link back in the thread for other readers! I see it as sort of maintaining the commons, a very simple courtesy to others. You spend two extra clicks yourself to save hundreds or thousands of clicks for others.