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Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

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Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#21

Post by ramayac »

Short interesting story: My mom is an Architect, one day when I was about 8 or 9 she said: don't be an Architect, you won't get paid fairly (developing country). It got burned out in my mind, like a command. And slowly moved to "Don't do art stuff". I stopped drawing and started using computers more and more.

Only in my adulthood I started to explore Architecture, and ooohhh boy, I freaking love it. And I would have loved worked with my mom, taking clients, etc.

So, just be careful on what you say to your kids about a career, or how you say it.

I'm not complaining btw, just a fact of life from a very simple comment mom made one random day.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#22

Post by paulddraper »

bironran wrote: post #17

No. Unless it's her passion, but I'm not going to encourage her specifically in this direction. I want to invest equally (as much as I can) in other STEM, in art, in sports. Maybe she'll be a playwright? Or an athlete? Or a scientist? Or dedicate her life to help other people or animals? Even if she is interested in programming, I'd warn her about burnout, about the ultra long feedback cycles, about the exhausting ra…

> scientist

> Ultra long feedback cycles

Lol

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#23

Post by Reasonabl »

ramayac wrote: post #21

Short interesting story: My mom is an Architect, one day when I was about 8 or 9 she said: don't be an Architect, you won't get paid fairly (developing country). It got burned out in my mind, like a command. And slowly moved to "Don't do art stuff". I stopped drawing and started using computers more and more. Only in my adulthood I started to explore Architecture, and ooohhh boy, I freaking love it. And I would have…

Same story. Don’t be a graphic designer, they said. Well, now I have a designer’s eye but can’t put words nor shapes to it. Also suddenly this passion for calligraphy and typography hit me in mid twenties? Is that what they call… a calling?

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#24

Post by cmrdporcupine »

disadvantage wrote: post #5

In terms of programming, if my child wants to imitate me and learn to code, then fine, but doing so is riddled with problems. Firstly, code is so unforgiving, unlike art, where mistakes in art can be tolerated and even add to the aesthetic of the art, but one single misplaced comma in code ruins the whole program. Then there's the countless times you have to bang your head against the wall whilst coding because of so…

The worst part in retrospect is the sedentary, seated, nature of the work. I don't necessarily want to encourage either of my children in this direction for this reason alone. It turned out to be quite unhealthy.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#25

Post by criddell »

bironran wrote: post #17

No. Unless it's her passion, but I'm not going to encourage her specifically in this direction. I want to invest equally (as much as I can) in other STEM, in art, in sports. Maybe she'll be a playwright? Or an athlete? Or a scientist? Or dedicate her life to help other people or animals? Even if she is interested in programming, I'd warn her about burnout, about the ultra long feedback cycles, about the exhausting ra…

Even though the title includes a programmer's perspective, I don't think they were saying they want their child to follow in their professional footsteps. I think it was more about wanting their kid(s) to reach their potential, develop wisdom, good character, and always work on self-improvement.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#26

Post by mkl95 »

I would love that my kids applied code to automate stuff and solve complex problems. Would I want them to become software engineers? I wouldn't, because they would most likely end up working on some SaaS product or something equally stupid, and burn out every few years. But if they went into something like aerospace engineering, energy, or whatever, and happened to write a bunch of code, it would be really cool.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#27

Post by xboxnolifes »

paulddraper wrote: post #22
bironran wrote: post #17

No. Unless it's her passion, but I'm not going to encourage her specifically in this direction. I want to invest equally (as much as I can) in other STEM, in art, in sports. Maybe she'll be a playwright? Or an athlete? Or a scientist? Or dedicate her life to help other people or animals? Even if she is interested in programming, I'd warn her about burnout, about the ultra long feedback cycles, about the exhausting ra…

> scientist > Ultra long feedback cycles Lol

This one confused me. Software has some of the tightest feedback cycles in day to day work of any profession I can really think of.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#28

Post by cmrdporcupine »

contingencies wrote: post #6

Adults think that the best thing you can do for a child is to turn the child out like them. Think about that, that's got to be one of the dumbest ideas ever. - Alan Kay ... via https://github.com/globalcitizen/taoup

I mean... I always felt the opposite, and became frustrated (with myself and sometimes them) when my kids have developed in some of the same negative patterns (usually scholastic / work related) that I feel in myself.

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#29

Post by chongli »

paulddraper wrote: post #22
bironran wrote: post #17

No. Unless it's her passion, but I'm not going to encourage her specifically in this direction. I want to invest equally (as much as I can) in other STEM, in art, in sports. Maybe she'll be a playwright? Or an athlete? Or a scientist? Or dedicate her life to help other people or animals? Even if she is interested in programming, I'd warn her about burnout, about the ultra long feedback cycles, about the exhausting ra…

> scientist > Ultra long feedback cycles Lol

Yeah I’m confused about that as well. Programming has among the shortest feedback cycles of all! Heck, you can get your editor hooked up so that you get near-realtime feedback as you type.

Now imagine being a particle physicist or something and waiting years or even decades just to have a chance to run your experiment!

Re: Do you want your children to be like you? A programmer's perspective

#30

Post by 12bits »

I always encouraged my son to follow his own interests, but exposed him to what I was into. Once he got to high school and started taking "computer science" he really opened up to it and became passionate about it on his own terms. This was amazing to watch unfold and really morphed our relationship into something even more special. Unfortunately the universe decided it was his time to and he passed away a few weeks ago, a week after his 18th birthday and high school graduation. I know he would've gone on to do marvellous things to help our world become a better place, miss ya bud.
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