Earlier quoted context omitted.
I typically become less social when in a relationship. When living alone I'll jump at the chance to go out with friends, but in a relationship it seems far less appealing to go out.
The question is whether that's less social. Maybe less externally social, but if that's the case it seems like it's because your significant other is fulfilling your need for social interaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really.
The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
21–30 of 53 posts
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#22I hate to be that person, but I have to ask: what's new that this article is telling me? The main point of the article seems to be that people living alone become eccentric without any "social checks"; that does hold sometimes but not always.
My take on it is that news pieces like this aren't really meant to be "news". One of the primary reasons for reading news articles is to have something to talk about when you talk with people. Pieces that focus on things that are common knowledge pick up traction not because they're breaking stories, but because they let us have dialogues about things that just don't come up in ordinary conversation.
I'm sure theres plenty of "singletons" who love the opportunity to use this news piece as a talking point to reflect on the experience of living alone.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#23I live alone (for 15 months so far) and love it and will never live with someone else again (well, until my attitude changes) but one thing I also do is work from home... I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being and when I do it's either a McDonalds server or a pizza delivery guy, this part is turning me insane. I have absolute control over my environment, if I don't like a noise or the heat or a sm…
This is why I don't live alone.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#24Eating poorly; sleeping poorly; having too much dust, filth, or random junk around the house; not going outside; not exercising enough; not getting social interacting in the minimal needed amount, obsessing over the wrong aspects of your work.... This sort of things.
Not all of these are problematic for all people, but to the extent some are problematic for a given person, they tend to form a vicious cycle - people do bad things to themselves from lack of awareness or temporarily depleted willpower, and those behaviors in turn cause even less self-awareness and reduce the willpower reserves further.
For that reason I am contemplating some sort of a software-based aid that helps one person to periodically check on the other person's daily routine from a distance to make sure they haven't fallen into this sort of a "depression trap". I tentatively call it "a brother's keeper" project, although realistically it's more likely to be the subject's parents or childhood friends who will bother to check daily on how many minutes he or she spent outside and how many meals did they have per day, and whether there were enough nutrients in it. The point would be not to nag the subject daily, but to catch the moment they are falling off the bus, so to speak, and either intervene, summon other friends, or get professional help.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#25I live alone (for 15 months so far) and love it and will never live with someone else again (well, until my attitude changes) but one thing I also do is work from home... I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being and when I do it's either a McDonalds server or a pizza delivery guy, this part is turning me insane. I have absolute control over my environment, if I don't like a noise or the heat or a sm…
I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being This is why I don't live alone.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#26One peril of living alone is that it becomes very easy to indulge in self-destructive behaviors with no one to check on you. Eating poorly; sleeping poorly; having too much dust, filth, or random junk around the house; not going outside; not exercising enough; not getting social interacting in the minimal needed amount, obsessing over the wrong aspects of your work.... This sort of things. Not all of these are proble…
Although perhaps less likely, these problems can also easily happen, if you are hanging around the wrong influences.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#27That article both spoke to me and seemed foreign; I've lived alone for all but two years of the last 20 (since high school), and I do "spread out" in many of the ways it describes. But, when I do get to temporarily "live with" someone---when I'm home at my parents' house, when I'm sharing a hotel room at a conference, when I'm visiting friends for a few days---my experience is totally opposite the article. I look for…
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#28"A music manager and record producer who works from his railroad apartment in Brooklyn, Mr. Sherwood, 40, said he’ll go to bed at 2 a.m. one night, and then retire later and later by increments, “until I go to bed when the sun comes up.” " Glad it's not just me who does that :-D...
Been there too... I call it a 26/27 hour clock. On the day that would end with a sunrise, I'd take it off, but stay up, taking it easy (but tired) and push through until a "normal" bedtime, sleep like a baby and wake up the next day with a reset schedule.
By the way, this schedule only starts happening when I don't have anything to do during the day - if I have anything scheduled, I'd stay awake (although feel quite tired sometimes)...
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#29I live alone (for 15 months so far) and love it and will never live with someone else again (well, until my attitude changes) but one thing I also do is work from home... I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being and when I do it's either a McDonalds server or a pizza delivery guy, this part is turning me insane. I have absolute control over my environment, if I don't like a noise or the heat or a sm…
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#30This article doesn't seem to strongly distinguish between living with someone else in the same house/apartment/etc and living with someone else in actually the same room . There's a big difference there!