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The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

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Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#21

Post by Mistletoe »

codethief wrote: post #6
bertil wrote: post #2

Does Japanese aversion to confrontation trigger this behaviour?

Came here to ask the same thing. If so, how do people quit their jobs then, or do break-ups? They just never do or do they just disappear over night?

>“Not a Good Match”: Almost One in Three Japanese Graduates Quit First Job Within Three Years. While earlier generations saw lifetime employment as the norm, 30% of recent Japanese graduates quit within three years of starting their first job.

Looks like it used to be lifetime and now that is changing.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#22

Post by izzydata »

lawn wrote: post #15

Dating in Japan sounds absolutely horrifying, if this is the expected behavior to your private teacher...

I dated a Japanese girl for 4 years throughout college. We spent basically every moment of every day together and then she just disappeared. Haven't heard from her in 11 years now.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#23

Post by Sharlin »

jvanderbot wrote: post #8
codethief wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Came here to ask the same thing. If so, how do people quit their jobs then, or do break-ups? They just never do or do they just disappear over night?

They probably are very clear to each other, it's us foreigners who read the signals wrong.

Doesn't seem like it based on the article.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#24

Post by FabHK »

> I prefer someone blunt and clear who will say what they mean. I don’t care if they don’t say it in the nicest of ways, as long as they say it. Speak your heart!

If that's the author's preference (fair enough), then Japan is not the right place for them (in that respect). Intercultural Communication 101. Either learn to deal with it and stop taking it personally, or move somewhere else. (Or, sure, go on a one-person quest to change Japanese culture - what could go wrong.)

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#25

Post by WarOnPrivacy »

AstixAndBelix wrote: post #12

The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem. He knows exactly why and how his students behave this way, and yet he still takes it very personally. I'm glad he has at least found an explanation, but it would really help if he consulted with a mental health specialist as to which steps to take to stop feeling distraught every time it happens

> The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem.

Did she? She indicated politeness likely plays a role but didn't get into the specifics of Japanese politeness that results in this.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#26

Post by bawolff »

AstixAndBelix wrote: post #12

The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem. He knows exactly why and how his students behave this way, and yet he still takes it very personally. I'm glad he has at least found an explanation, but it would really help if he consulted with a mental health specialist as to which steps to take to stop feeling distraught every time it happens

Isn't it reasonable to feel a little sad when something like this happens?

Like by all means if they are crushed by this, see a specialist, but a little pang of sadness hardly seems like an unreasonable reaction requiring a mental health professional.

The goal of therapy isn't to make you immune from all negative emotions.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#28

Post by FabHK »

sdfghswe wrote: post #14
arkitaip wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Saving face.

Saving face means that you made a mistake that has become obvious and you try to avoid owning up. That's not the case here. Example: if you ghost your teacher without quitting that's inconsiderate, and calling it "saving face" is saving face.

They're saving the author's face by not explicitly telling them that their services are no longer required. (They're obviously implicitly telling them, loud and clear.)

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#29

Post by throwawaymaths »

MoSattler wrote: post #4
throwawaymaths wrote: post #3

Just take a deposit. Don't pay it back until they tell you they quit.

If my language teacher asked me for a deposit, I would find another teacher.

It doesn't have to be much. It can come with an explanation. If they are learning English, it's useful to know for the anglophone world ghosting (in many situations) is considered extremely rude.

I think Japanese people would be very receptive to this information and the $ incentive to let them know you're serious about it.

Re: The One Thing I Can’t Stand About Teaching English in Japan (2019)

#30

Post by analyst74 »

AstixAndBelix wrote: post #12

The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem. He knows exactly why and how his students behave this way, and yet he still takes it very personally. I'm glad he has at least found an explanation, but it would really help if he consulted with a mental health specialist as to which steps to take to stop feeling distraught every time it happens

I do not like ghosting, but having the ability to adapt to local customs is quite important when living in a foreign country.

It seems the author actually understands the local customs, but couldn't accept it emotionally.

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