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Everything You Can’t Have

collabfund.com

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Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#21

Post by hef19898 »

ericmcer wrote: post #15
amelius wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

I don’t ignore them I usually view them as someone whose priorities don’t align with mine. Money is freedom and trading that freedom to get a shiny toy doesn’t make sense to me. I would much rather know I can work on what I want or not work at all than drive to my job in a nicer car.

The most valuable thing money buys you is first security, directly followed by freedom. I would never trade that freedom in for some shiny toy, or trinket. Or something to impress other people with. If it is something I truely enjoy, and can afford comfortably sure. But then is much more about the experience than it is about the thing.

And if people judge you as person based on the car you have, the clothes you wear or the appartment / house you live in, well, maybe ignoring those people actually is a healthy thing to do.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#22

Post by hef19898 »

keymon-o wrote: post #19
jpttsn wrote: post #12

A bunch of other rich people don’t know how to enjoy their stuff but you don’t have to fall in that trap. There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Thoigh if you keep realizing the things you have worked hard for don’t end up making you happy, that might be hopeless.

> There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Being satisfied with what you have is what “poor” people (people who can’t have everything) do in order to be happy. What’s the benefit of being rich then?

More freedom by virtue of having more money? Above a certain level of "enough" money, money becomes less and less important. Or it becomes an obsession, in which case more money takes away freedom. Falling into this trap is tragic if you ask me.

And there will always be sometjing you want but cannot have, regardless how much money have. E.g. art, the Mona Lisa will never be up for sale. Or some other unique piece of art. Accepting that fact makes you a happier person, or at least doesn't hurt.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#23

Post by hef19898 »

jpttsn wrote: post #18
rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

This approach never worked well for me. Food and travel is so forgettable; it perishes much faster than nice clothes or shiny toys. It also seems like people chase the dragon; keep going to restaurants and resorts. If experiences are so unforgettable, why would you repeat them each year? And for most people it (for the outside) looks fraught with stupid dysfunction; the White Lotus kinds of things where everyone is j…

A resort is a vacation, travel is giong on a safari in African, trekking around the Khailash in Tibet, do a road trip through Uruguay. A resort doesn't give you experiences worth remembering, truely travelling and getting to know new cultures and regions does.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#24

Post by xtiansimon »

keymon-o wrote: post #19
jpttsn wrote: post #12

A bunch of other rich people don’t know how to enjoy their stuff but you don’t have to fall in that trap. There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Thoigh if you keep realizing the things you have worked hard for don’t end up making you happy, that might be hopeless.

> There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Being satisfied with what you have is what “poor” people (people who can’t have everything) do in order to be happy. What’s the benefit of being rich then?

“Being satisfied…” is what you do to not go bananas—-to consume for the sake of consuming in a society structured around consumption for the sake of society…

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#25

Post by keymon-o »

BizarreByte wrote: post #17
rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

My memory sure can, stuff a decade ago might of well have not happened for all I can remember. I remember the basic stuff, but none of the details. Anyway I’ll add to this that you don’t have to like all experiences. I have tried to force myself to like travelling, but I’ve come to accept I just despise every aspect of it. Other people find it weird, but whatever.

Same. I had plenty of so-called life worthy experiences, and nothing would make recommend that lifestyle to someone.

To be happy or at least satisfied and content, it takes a lot of introspection and creativity on how to pursue what you really want, which is also rarely in a permanent state. This is often overlooked in favor of taking oversimplified life advices and time consuming setting of life goals

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#26

Post by etothepii »

I just don't see the car angle. It's an example people use but I don't see it. Sometimes I wish our car was a bit bigger because it would make our lives easier. Now I'm wealthy enough to buy a car from new, I do. But that's primarily for the hastle factor not the status.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#27

Post by etothepii »

BizarreByte wrote: post #20
amelius wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

Some of us don’t have to trick ourselves. I own a modest house and modest car, they fit into my budget and put me so far ahead of my peers financially people don’t believe me when I say how good things are. A car especially is just a tool, I care as much about someone’s car as I do the hammer in their toolbox, but I am not a car person. It comes down to what you value. Stability, time, and financial freedom matter mo…

The ultimate luxuries are time and freedom. I'm jealous of those with more of these but not those with a bigger house or car.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#28

Post by blfr »

I cannot relate to joy of struggle for owning things. Maybe the times have changed and often more expensive things just aren't better (although nicer things still are usually more expensive) but while I feel a lot of pleasure from wearing proper clothes, using well-made tech, and living in a stylishly designed apartment, looking for them is almost always a chore I happily outsource to bloggers, HN (thank you!), or my girlfriend. With the one exception of ordering custom tailored clothes which feels like research.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#30

Post by barelyauser »

amelius wrote: post #3
toto444 wrote: post #2

I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very personal, I can't compare myself on an objective metric with other people and as a result feel less frustrated about not earning more.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

> How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

The fact you notice and thinks about it means you care. You want a new car every year. You envy it. Be honest to yourself and go get it. That is what you want.

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