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Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#21

Post by bmitc »

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

That is an interesting point. Couple that with things like cost of living, cost of education, poor training and mentorship in jobs, etc.

Although I’m slightly confused by the quote. How do kids in Italy get started navigating real life earlier if they live at home longer? I’m guessing the point there is that they have help in early adulthood while still living at home, but the quote, as written, is a little confusing.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#22

Post by _mme »

I‘m 42. Here‘s my advice to someone half my age. Have conflicts. Put your heart into it. If you loose, you receive some truth. If you win you give some truth. The outcome does not matter if it means you grow.

Go eat or drink together as if nothing happened.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#23

Post by tomrod »

williamtrask wrote: post #7
thewayup wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

for being the first comment on this post, that got deep real fast...

Sorry if it’s a bit much. I’m finishing a PhD sortof on the topic and I’m really passionate about it.

Seems like we need a united cause.

Surviving heat death seems like one whose target can improve quality of life as a byproduct.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#24

Post by hjgjhyuhy »

williamtrask wrote: post #4

When reading an article like this I’m distracted by the overwhelming number of possible causes. Could be life today, life 10 years ago, or expectations for the future. We don’t have sufficient data to really disentangle so many possible variables. As a youngish adult myself I’m not sure my peers know what’s going on either as they experience mental health problems. Everything is shrouded in such complicated stories a…

I agree. In our modern societies we have more means of communication than ever, yet we’re also more lonely than ever before. Urbanization has also disrupted people’s social lives very much. Raising children is hard when your parents live far away and all your friends are too busy to help, even with state-funded childcare.

Different generations used to live together and help each other. Underpaid nurses and nannies are just a shallow replacement to that.

Then of course there’s the insane pace of change and increasing competition. Only guaranteed sources of income are either very hard to get into, or pay peanuts with bad working conditions. AI might make even some of those disappear, rendering years of education worthless. Life is much more complex than before. There are lots of options, but no obvious answers to which actually make sense. I’m lucky enough to have access to free education and decent social security, but still I feel like my life is way more uncertain than it was for my parents. They just had to get an education and could then work until retirement with same employer, buy a house and just settle down. Without job security pretty much everything else becomes difficult.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#25

Post by twayt »

Many young women feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations society has of them to be successful, beautiful and nurturing.

Many young men feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet society’s expectations success, attractiveness and fatherhood.

Society has always had winners and losers, the global nature of things makes people more aware of higher standards and the threat to their security that lies out there in the real world. No more local echo chambers.

Adding fuel to the fire, it’s easy to lie about how smart, happy and successful you are online, reap the status benefits of it and not get caught. Thus the wheel turns further and faster.

Adolescence and young adulthood is a fragile part of life when you don’t know what you’re capable of yet and have to constantly prove your genetic worth. This is why the young are far more affected than adults who have a realistic sense of what their abilities are and proof that they can survive.

The only solution I see to this is to show the young the importance of sticking to principles, how to suspend disbelief and embrace optimism, how to really take care of your biology and offer them multiple avenues of support they feel comfortable taking advantage of.

The ones who make it through to adulthood with courage will change the world for the better. This I’m sure of

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#26

Post by goldcd »

I was about to wade in and call out today's youth as pansey-ass-snowflakes.

Then I read: "I like to describe it as some kids are growing up developmentally delayed, today’s 18-year-olds are like 12-year-olds from a decade ago. They have very little tolerance for conflict and discomfort, and COVID just exposed it.” " and I suddenly realized that I was just being pandered to.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#27

Post by vasco »

bmitc wrote: post #21
jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

That is an interesting point. Couple that with things like cost of living, cost of education, poor training and mentorship in jobs, etc. Although I’m slightly confused by the quote. How do kids in Italy get started navigating real life earlier if they live at home longer? I’m guessing the point there is that they have help in early adulthood while still living at home, but the quote, as written, is a little confusing…

Living at home is different from being babysat all the time, or from the quote "American parents are more overprotective". You can live in the same house and have way more independence growing up depending on parenting styles. I'm not sure how true or not any of this is, but depends if for example kids are more likely to play in the street without an adult supervising, going to the beach also without adult supervising, etc.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#28

Post by twayt »

_mme wrote: post #22

I‘m 42. Here‘s my advice to someone half my age. Have conflicts. Put your heart into it. If you loose, you receive some truth. If you win you give some truth. The outcome does not matter if it means you grow. Go eat or drink together as if nothing happened.

The prerequisite for this is a healthy foundation of self belief. Young adults out there are getting hammered by messages that imply that they are fundamentally flawed and will never stack up.

It’s a fragile place to be

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#29

Post by xabotage »

williamtrask wrote: post #4

When reading an article like this I’m distracted by the overwhelming number of possible causes. Could be life today, life 10 years ago, or expectations for the future. We don’t have sufficient data to really disentangle so many possible variables. As a youngish adult myself I’m not sure my peers know what’s going on either as they experience mental health problems. Everything is shrouded in such complicated stories a…

There is definitely a massive breakdown of old social institutions that have not adapted to the modern world. People don't need to be closely knit to their families and local religion in order to survive anymore, and they are simultaneously discovering how awful these institutions habitually are.

To improve families, I imagine we'd have to wait for a significantly large generation to mature whose parents started a family through informed choice rather than social/cultural/religious pressure.

Alternatively, we could regress by taking away people's freedoms (especially women's) and force everyone to be dependent on traditional power structures just like the "good old days."

Personally, I'd rather move forward, but it's not entirely clear what that looks like.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#30

Post by goldcd »

mberning wrote: post #20

I was at the beach the other day, beautiful weather, perfect sunset, etc. The number of people staring at their phones was very high. The number of teenagers, especially girls, taking pictures and seemingly staging events was downright depressing. We will soon look back and realize that social media and phone addiction was worse for people’s health than smoking.

But you know that's simply not true. I was a smoker in my 20s and quit finally in my 40s. Are you suggesting my f'ed up choices were in some way better than taking a load of selfies in my twenties and growing out of it in their thirties?
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