21–30 of 106 posts
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The comment you're replying to was obviously written by a bird.
Do birds chew gum?
https://www.blastic.eu/knowledge-bank/impacts/plastic-ingest...
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My parents told me that you get a hole in your belly if you eat gum. As a child I panicked once because I accidentally swallowed some gum, it's a mean thing to lie about :(
My parents told me something very similar about gum, and a whole lot of other weird things over the years. Is this a universal experience? I wonder if it's a helpful evolutionary trait, sort of like training your "mental immune system" the same way that your mother chewing your food and feeding it to you, germs and all, strengthens your actual immune system.
Only to my 30s I began to realize how much of this non-contextual nonsense was put in my mind, from gums to proverbs to rules to… basically everything was a subject for reevaluation.
> This, along with the “lying still game” and many other “games” ensured hours of peace and quiet for adults trying to It’s funny how fathering is about using a thousand tricks to make kids go through life even when they don’t want. And another part is politeness rules teach kids to be convenient for the parents, for example “don’t play with food, there’s kids in Africa” was never about African kids and more about cl…
> I don’t know how to complain properly Oh I don't know, I think you're doing a fine job of it. All of those things you complain about not being able to do, you know that you can't do them. If you know you can't do them, and want to do them, then you can learn how. Alternatively, you can lay your issues at your parents feet and mope about how hard your life is as a millionaire.
OPs point to all the distracting tricks rings true for me. Very much a "my way or the highway" household I grew up in, and although I don't feel there was major harm from the upbringing, I can see where the gaps in my development originated. Like OP, I don't do confrontation well. I don't have a healthy grasp of expressing desire or wants. I find it difficult to have healthy debate with others. It's mostly a habit of avoiding the conversation because I was taught during childhood/teens that things will be done like this so there's no point in arguing.
It isn't so simple as that overall though, but I do heavily look at the type of upbringing I was given and how it contributes overall. I want to do better for my son, and avoiding the easy "tricks" to get kids to quiet down and behave (be less like kids) is something I'm aiming to avoid.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
My parents told me that you get a hole in your belly if you eat gum. As a child I panicked once because I accidentally swallowed some gum, it's a mean thing to lie about :(
My parents told me something very similar about gum, and a whole lot of other weird things over the years. Is this a universal experience? I wonder if it's a helpful evolutionary trait, sort of like training your "mental immune system" the same way that your mother chewing your food and feeding it to you, germs and all, strengthens your actual immune system.
Someone close to me, however, was told a lot of such lies in their childhood, and continued to believe them into adulthood. When we met during our university years, I unknowingly debunked a few of those stories during casual conversations, and the person later thanked me and told me that, sadly, this completely shattered the trust they had for their father.
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[0] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions
The author’s mom also sounds pretty cool.
Having a significant other who is on the same wavelength as you as who is your partner even in silly stuff is one of the underrated blessings in life.
> This, along with the “lying still game” and many other “games” ensured hours of peace and quiet for adults trying to It’s funny how fathering is about using a thousand tricks to make kids go through life even when they don’t want. And another part is politeness rules teach kids to be convenient for the parents, for example “don’t play with food, there’s kids in Africa” was never about African kids and more about cl…
Well this comment took a turn in the last few minutes.
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> I don’t know how to complain properly Oh I don't know, I think you're doing a fine job of it. All of those things you complain about not being able to do, you know that you can't do them. If you know you can't do them, and want to do them, then you can learn how. Alternatively, you can lay your issues at your parents feet and mope about how hard your life is as a millionaire.
Ignoring the moping millionaire part he's got some truth to what he's saying. I'm confronting this now as a new parent while thinking about how I want to raise my son vs. how I was raised by my father. OPs point to all the distracting tricks rings true for me. Very much a "my way or the highway" household I grew up in, and although I don't feel there was major harm from the upbringing, I can see where the gaps in my…
I was brought up with "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about", my parents would get angry that I didn't know how to do something (well you're the teacher, how is it my fault you didn't teach me!), and shouting. A lot of shouting.
It has definitely affected me, even now if my wife shouts me from downstairs get that feeling of being a child again, waiting to be smacked for something I've supposedly done wrong. I think it will always be there.
However, my parents had it much worse than me. They were born into poverty and their parents were dysfunctional, raging alcoholics who didn't provide for them. As a child my dad had to break into abandoned warehouses to pull up floorboards to use as firewood, because HIS dad was too busy pissing away his money in the pub and on gambling.
That they managed to come out and raise kids in a more loving environment than the one they grew up in is a testament to them.
I think most of us want our children to have a better life than the one we had. People are human, people make mistakes.
I forgive my parents for the mistakes they made, because I know that even for the things they made me do that I still detest and think they are wrong for making me do, they did it for the right reasons, they still loved me. And I love them
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My parents told me something very similar about gum, and a whole lot of other weird things over the years. Is this a universal experience? I wonder if it's a helpful evolutionary trait, sort of like training your "mental immune system" the same way that your mother chewing your food and feeding it to you, germs and all, strengthens your actual immune system.
It's bad enough when they spit on a hanky and wipe your face with it!
> This, along with the “lying still game” and many other “games” ensured hours of peace and quiet for adults trying to It’s funny how fathering is about using a thousand tricks to make kids go through life even when they don’t want. And another part is politeness rules teach kids to be convenient for the parents, for example “don’t play with food, there’s kids in Africa” was never about African kids and more about cl…
This website is fast.