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What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

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Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#21

Post by sjs »

sunir wrote: post #17

My title is literally Chief Handshaker at FreshBooks. I wheel and deal for a living. When walking up to people randomly, I find it is immensely helpful to be genuinely interested in people. They will often pay you back the favour by being genuinely interested in you afterwards. To be honest, I do what I do because I love people. They are endlessly interesting. I don't do it to build my Twitter follower count. If you…

I guess the question for those of us who aren't inherently interested in people is how do we build such an interest, curiosity, and love for everyone? You can't just read Be Here Now and suddenly be enlightened and feel one with the world.

(The question is not exactly directed at you since you seem to naturally have such an interest.)

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#22

Post by JonnieCache »

aneth wrote: post #14

I agree overcoming "approach anxiety" is key to just about any goal that requires someone else to be attracted to you in one way or another - dating, investing, friendship, ordering a drink in a crowded bar, .... However, the key to ultimate success in all of these is that the person needs to like you and respect you. Girls don't like guys that approach them and rattle off about how funny they are, how much money the…

>However, the key to ultimate success in all of these is that the person needs to like you and respect you. Girls don't like guys that approach them and rattle off about how funny they are, how much money they make, and what a great lover they are. Girls respect guys who are confident and layered, not guys who throw all their cards on the table in a 30 second pitch in a desperate attempt to be liked. Bartenders will first serve patient, confident, respectful customers, not eager, aggressive douchebags flashing twenties and snapping fingers.

The key is to understand that neither women, bartenders nor venture capitalists are homogenous hordes that can all be handled with the same neat little set of well-defined procedures that you read in a book or hear at a seminar.

Especially not women, what with them comprising half of the planet's population.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#23

Post by flocial »

pg wrote: post #8

Maybe my case is unusual because YC takes applications online, but I don't like it when people walk up to me and "pitch" me by reciting some preformulated speech about their startup. I can almost never understand what they're talking about. And it makes me feel like a target, in much the same way it probably does to women when guys walk up to them and recite preformulated pickup lines. The unit of conversation with a…

In your case the "pitch" would be an intelligent conversation. The traditional pitch wouldn't be a pitch because it's ineffective. The article only talks about anxiety but the importance of iteration is in there (he got the first number after 4 or 5 tries) and I'm sure his pitch was more natural than your typical "deer running towards headlights" kamikaze pitch.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#24

Post by sunir »

sjs wrote: post #21
sunir wrote: post #17

My title is literally Chief Handshaker at FreshBooks. I wheel and deal for a living. When walking up to people randomly, I find it is immensely helpful to be genuinely interested in people. They will often pay you back the favour by being genuinely interested in you afterwards. To be honest, I do what I do because I love people. They are endlessly interesting. I don't do it to build my Twitter follower count. If you…

I guess the question for those of us who aren't inherently interested in people is how do we build such an interest, curiosity, and love for everyone? You can't just read Be Here Now and suddenly be enlightened and feel one with the world. (The question is not exactly directed at you since you seem to naturally have such an interest.)

I used to be a curmudgeon until my early 20s, wondering how everyone could be so dumb. Then, enlightenment! I learnt I didn't know everything.

I am just curious. Everyone acts rationally from their point of view. Why do people do what they do? What makes them successful? Failures? What is their take on living? Most people are passionate about something, so tell me about it. I'll learn something new.

I spent a lot of time learning how to actively listen, not just wait for an opportunity to jump into a conversation with my own immature opinions. (I have many.) I am not afraid to ask dumb questions in an effort to learn. I have no fear that people will think I am stupid. Actually, asking questions makes you look like a genius.

Caveat: There are some people who lack the spark of life. I don't spend time with them.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#25

Post by codeslush »

sunir wrote: post #24
sjs wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess the question for those of us who aren't inherently interested in people is how do we build such an interest, curiosity, and love for everyone? You can't just read Be Here Now and suddenly be enlightened and feel one with the world. (The question is not exactly directed at you since you seem to naturally have such an interest.)

I used to be a curmudgeon until my early 20s, wondering how everyone could be so dumb. Then, enlightenment! I learnt I didn't know everything. I am just curious. Everyone acts rationally from their point of view. Why do people do what they do? What makes them successful? Failures? What is their take on living? Most people are passionate about something, so tell me about it. I'll learn something new. I spent a lot of…

I love this response.

1. Listening, really listening, is really hard. Start by trying to listen to those you seem to have an issue(s) with! Really try to have an open mind and see things from an alternate perspective. Surely, you must have some level of interest in people you see. Why did he decide to get 1000 piercings? Why is s/he homeless? What drives this person to wear a suit every single day? .... Look at the things that you judge, and try to find answers that may not be so obvious as to why they are the way they are.

2. "I learnt I didn't know everything" -- this is pure and simple, but if my own experience has any relevance, it won't click with a number of people. I was smart enough to know that I didn't know everything when I was pretty young. But somehow, I really didn't "get it" -- I thought I was open minded, but I really wasn't. It wasn't until life beat me up pretty good that I finally "think" I get it. At least I hope I get it, and I feel like I do. Which leads to...

3. "Everyone acts rationally from their point of view" -- It took a very, very long time for me to understand this point. It took a lot of humility, pain and suffering to really open up my mind to why people do what they do. I believe MOST people make choices with good intentions. From the outside, it might be hard to understand those intentions. The challenge, or for me, the interest, comes in understanding the perspective that drove a particular decision. This goes back to "two sides to every story" -- and I've seen enough stories to know that both sides have strong convictions that they are correct and right. If you aren't fundamentally interested in people, then try to get interested in figuring out why they do what they do, especially when it is at odds with your own bias.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#26

Post by jadoint »

cek wrote: post #2

Great article. The first thing I do when mentoring noob entrepreneurs/founders is ask them about their networks. "How are you growing it?" "Who are your mentors?" "Who are your mentees?" "Who are the big-wigs in your network?" I have found, much to my surprise, given that I'm a "black belt ninja networker type" (apparently;per the article) that people haven't really given much thought to these questions. They know (o…

Hi, I've been an HN lurker for a few months but finally signed up today just to inquire about mentors when I saw your comment. I am a complete beginner when it comes to startups. In fact, I happened to stumble into my niche rather accidentally. How do I go about finding great mentors or at least a group of like-minded people that I can learn from? If it helps, I'm currently located in NJ about 45 mins from NYC. I apologize in advance if this is a strange venue to ask this type of advice. Thanks!

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#27

Post by sjs »

sunir wrote: post #24
sjs wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess the question for those of us who aren't inherently interested in people is how do we build such an interest, curiosity, and love for everyone? You can't just read Be Here Now and suddenly be enlightened and feel one with the world. (The question is not exactly directed at you since you seem to naturally have such an interest.)

I used to be a curmudgeon until my early 20s, wondering how everyone could be so dumb. Then, enlightenment! I learnt I didn't know everything. I am just curious. Everyone acts rationally from their point of view. Why do people do what they do? What makes them successful? Failures? What is their take on living? Most people are passionate about something, so tell me about it. I'll learn something new. I spent a lot of…

That's good advice, thanks!

It's hard but I'm trying to be genuinely curious about others. There's nothing worse than someone pretending to be interested, asking questions and then not really listening to the answers. I try to avoid being that person. One thing I try to remember is that everyone has something interesting to say if you push the right buttons.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#28

Post by zach »

pg wrote: post #8

Maybe my case is unusual because YC takes applications online, but I don't like it when people walk up to me and "pitch" me by reciting some preformulated speech about their startup. I can almost never understand what they're talking about. And it makes me feel like a target, in much the same way it probably does to women when guys walk up to them and recite preformulated pickup lines. The unit of conversation with a…

This is a tough thing for founders. I was in this situation earlier this year after I won a ticket to Google I/O. One of the events was a Google Ventures mixer, which turned out to be a "speed-dating" event. I was excited to meet Joe Kraus, who gave my favorite Startup School speech ever, but what to do in this format? Launch into a cooked-up pitch? But I wanted to talk to Joe, not use him for target practice based on his job. But wasn't that kind of what I was expected to do? Still, what a borderline-presumptuous missionary tack to take with someone I respect. But wouldn't I get over that knowing teammates were counting on me to get us funding any way we could?

At last, I decided to skip the pitch, chatted very pleasantly with Joe, got some great advice and his card. In retrospect, that was really about as much as I should expect in a five-minute sit-down. He seems twice as much of a great guy as I thought he was. The pitch can wait until the next time we cross paths or it's been a lot better tested. But I better recognize now how awkward these situations can get.

Re: What being hopelessly single taught me about pitching tech celebs

#30

Post by patio11 »

So hypothetically if you have a very busy person who is mobbed by a lot of cold pitches, they might have a bit of pitch fatigue and assume that anybody cold pitching them is likely about as good a fit as the average cold pitcher, which is to say "total waste of my time." That very busy, selective individual probably has friends who are less mobbed by pitchers. Those friends might even be flattered to hear from you. Pitch them, with the goal of convincing them your startup/story/invitation to dinner and a movie/etc is so attractive that it is worth giving a warm intro to their friend. A warm intro in the Valley appears to be frequently a short two-sentence email: this is how I know X, here's why he's valuable to you, you guys take it from here.

This is how the real world works, over and over again.

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