As someone with a light background in social psychology, I have to say that nothing presented here falls into line with anything I have ever studied or learned. I would love for the author to provide references or links to any studies or any proper research that corroborates the claims.
Understanding how others relate to you
21–25 of 25 posts
Re: Understanding how others relate to you
#22Earlier quoted context omitted.
> "You can tell a man by his handshake" In what sense do you find this hilarious? It seems like a strong signal to me. It's not meant to be applied as general categorization. It's meant as a symbol which can be used to find your people. That is, those who had the same background where they were taught something about a strong handshake. People who don't have a strong handshake, may not come from the same background.
OK. I’ll walk that back, a bit. It’s the idea that some people get, that they can determine the sum total of another person, from a momentary interaction. Let’s just say that some of the best people I’ve ever known, have “dead fish” handshakes. Mine is “middlin’,” not too strong, not too weak. Tells you exactly nothing about me, and that’s how I like it. Most people are a continuum. I know right bastards that are ver…
So, a handshake to someone who believes that sort of thing is like being a republican or a democrat. They use it as one minor signal of values. It's a tribal thing. They aren't using it as a test of strength, but of background. You can be at a high level of competence with a weak handshake, but the handshake will show the person who values strong handshakes that you aren't from that same culture / background. It's the same sort of signal as wearing a MAGA hat.
Re: Understanding how others relate to you
#23This model is pretty ham-fisted. The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it's extremely common for your unconditional love BFF's to drift away as the relationship atrophies. It's called your 30's and 40's. MUST the third group of "Shapeshifters" ALL be Machiavellian? Careerists, seeking only to use you for your position and influence? D…
I agree the list is an oversimplification, but it’s largely accurate in my life.
For anyone who’s not in my close circle, I am a “shapeshifter”. I try to act benevolently and seek out win-win outcomes but I always keep my hand close to my chest. I will not lose.
I don’t keep any casual acquaintances unless it’s mutually beneficial. I trust people slowly and carefully, but without prejudice.
Re: Understanding how others relate to you
#24As someone with a light background in social psychology, I have to say that nothing presented here falls into line with anything I have ever studied or learned. I would love for the author to provide references or links to any studies or any proper research that corroborates the claims.
This. Only a gmail (not an institutional email) from a "consultant in diabetes and endocrinology" who seems to be moonlighting as ... a life coach?
Re: Understanding how others relate to you
#25As someone with a light background in social psychology, I have to say that nothing presented here falls into line with anything I have ever studied or learned. I would love for the author to provide references or links to any studies or any proper research that corroborates the claims.
I mean, he is basically saying that people either love you unconditionally, they love you but not unconditionally, they pretend to love you but are actually using you, or they actively hate you.
He kind of misses the category of people who dont care,but other than that, doesn't it cover 100% of the possibility space? What other possibilities are there? Like a priori i would expect the model to be true by virtue of the law of excluded middle