Avoid attaching your identity to people, other people's idea of who you are, your job, and to possessions. None of it is real or permanent. Say it like a mantra.
Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
21–30 of 287 posts
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#22I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…
Getting older has opened my eyes to the benefits of having kids young. For one thing, I had more energy and was more resilient to loss of sleep when I was younger. That would've been nice to pair with kids.
My mother had me at 30. My wife's mother had her in her late teens. There's a big difference in energy there too. My wife's mother has more time, and energy, with our kids.
I have friends who had kids in college and a friend who had kids in high school. It seemed like a mistake back then - they could never come hang out and had to leave early cause they were dealing with kids or a wife or whatever. I'm not so sure they made a mistake now.
I would guess that late twenties are the ideal time to have kids. Early twenties you wrap up your education and start your career, thirties and forties get the kids out the door, fifties settle your retirement, sixties and on enjoy your extended family and retirement. That's how I'd plan it if I were going again.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#23You will be smarter than you were in your 20s. You will not be as smart as in your 40s. Your life is just starting.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#24Max out your retirement investments as much as you realistically can. The added compounding you get from these earlier years is great.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#25That I should have spent more time finding a partner. Everyone said "don't try, it will happen naturally". Well, no, it didn't. Now in my mid-50s.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#26Get married, have children, buy assets.
There's this idea that men don't need to settle down because they can have children at any age, which I guess is technically true but it presupposes that a 30 y/o woman will want to have children with you when you're 45, but they are more inclined to go +5 years, not +15.
Also take prescription labels more seriously, like don't take Advil all the time, because you will get an ulcer and don't mix alcohol and aspirin because it causes liver damage.
Exercise and don't eat to much, and invest in your posture (don't get carpal tunnel, hunch over at the computer, etc)
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#27Listening to my gut.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#28That whole ‘time going by faster thing’ you’ve been noticing? You ain’t seen nothing yet.
I definitely feel that, but I think it has more to do with the routine that comes with a "normal" life. When I am doing the same thing every day, months or years feel like they disappeared into nothing. But new experiences still slow things down. I think a big part of the time compression phenomenon is just that there are fewer really new experiences
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#29I joined the Orthodox Church in my 40s. I wish I would have known about it when I was younger, especially in my 30s, with my young family. The benefits that come from daily spiritual devotion both individually and a family, as well as the benefits that come from being part of a faithful community are impossible to list. Is it all easy and is it all benefits? Of course not. But centering my life around God through daily devotion to the practices that are part of that have brought so much more stability and fulfillment than I ever could have known.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#30If you are going to the gym then have a plan for what you want to accomplish otherwise you are just wandering around.