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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#21

Post by 8n4vidtmkvmk »

kqr wrote: post #3
peakaboo wrote: post #2

I have 1 on 1s too and we talk about anything at all, including status updates if the employee wants too. Because it all builds a connection. It's like a coffee chat. I think it works the best when it's completely open to anything at all.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

because we have nothing else to say. we don't need any help from you, the manager. the project is going fine, but you're our least helpful resource. I'll go to the subject matter expert if i need specific things answered. I'm not fighting with any teammates. I'm not blocked. i was perfectly productive before this meeting, but now I'm interrupted. we already talked about career development. we don't need to go over that every week. really, I've got nothing. maybe once in awhile I'll get miffed at a teammate that doesn't see my point of view but even then i don't expect a manager to do much. they're not keen on taking sides. that's not to say i think my manager is useless. they're great, and i was much happier once i realized they basically work for me than i do for them. they're here to help and that's lovely, but aside from escalating cross team requests here and there, i really don't need much.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#22

Post by 8n4vidtmkvmk »

saila wrote: post #18
jcims wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have 30 minute 1:1’s every week with my team (8 engineers). I’m in weekly backlog grooming sessions, semi-weekly demos, retros and sprint planning and of course daily standups. I’m in weekly status calls with two separate customers and weekly prioritization calls with product. I’m in constant dozer mode trying to clear a path for my team to eliminate blockers, execute bullshit corp process and help them resolve iss…

Have you tried building trust ? The tone of your comment here makes me think you haven’t. If you build trust with people, they’ll just tell you things. If you just say they can tell you things, no rational employee will believe that. And pushing people to talk about their weekend or other aspects of their personal life is downright toxic IMO. Again, if you build trust and rapport, you won’t have to ask these rote, of…

+1. I'm certainly not keen on sharing anything personal with a manager. we're not friends. I'm not going to tell you how i got drunk and puked or whatever, that's not appropriate and it's not doing me any favors career wise.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#24

Post by 8n4vidtmkvmk »

ajb wrote: post #11
kqr wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

A significant fraction of engineers, often the ones who are most deep into their work, have a tendency to just do a brain dump of what they're working on, just because that's what they've currently assembled in their heads. It isn't necessarily useful in a 1:1 but it seems almost involuntary, so I'm not sure it's good to stop them before they've gone through it. May just have to allocate more time to allow them to ge…

ya.. if i was productive until 10 seconds before this meeting, then that's whats on my mind. im still solving things in my head and now im being pulled away from that.. for what? i feel like managers are in a different world, jumping from meeting to meeting they don't get deep into things. as a SWE.. I'm balancing 100 little things in my head, deep in thought, solving away.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#25

Post by fedlarm »

I know this article and comments here are mostly related to 1:1s with your boss. But I also use them in a not boss related situation, like scheduled 1:1s with an architect or ux designer if they are not fully assigned to a team.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#27

Post by elevatortrim »

I’m in a similar position and have a more connected approach. I always have an idea of what my direct reports are up to, and a high level understanding of what their reports are up to. I always have 3-4 discussion items ready, these are usually about whatever is important for the business at the time that intersect with their line of work.

I start with their agenda. They would’ve seen me how I prepare mine before, so usually they would have a similar agenda. I listen to them, discuss, and create action items together. Then we talk through my agenda, and we end with their thoughts as well since they might have just remembered something or it might have come up during my items.

I also make sure the items contain their development and also try to understand if their reports are developing in the direction they want and how I can help.

For myself, I do not find it useful to offload the responsibility of a productive 1-1 to my reports. It is both of ours, and since I have more experience in this, I behave as such and they are usually encouraged by it and start doing the same.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#28

Post by account-5 »

hunglee2 wrote: post #13

one good way to 'get the conversation going', as well as provide invaluable feedback, is to reverse roles and start the session with the employee review of your own performance as their manager. You can even say 'hey, this 1:1 is for me rather than you!'. It's fun and serious at the same time, and if you do it without ego you can learn a lot about how you are impacting your employees work, what you need to do to make…

As the employee this is fraught with danger. If my manager proposed this during a one to one I'd stop the meeting right there.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#29

Post by elevatortrim »

blfr wrote: post #26

I take notes throughout the week of what I want to discuss during the 1:1 and pretty much every other upcoming meeting.

I also do this. I have a 1:1 document for each of my reports and also each ongoing meeting that I run. The top title is always “Next meeting”. I note down discussion items there and during the meeting the title is converted to a date and under each item, I summarise decisions, reasons, actions and owners.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#30

Post by vasco »

tinkertamper wrote: post #9

I used to have a boss who’d ask me to rate my company satisfaction with the company 1-10 at every 1:1. This always struck me as one of the laziest/misguided management moves I’ve encountered, and I’m sure he felt it was both accurate and clever. If you manage people, and don’t understand that basic power dynamics will always trump encouragements for “openness”, you are naive at best and willfully blind at worst.

Not to defend the constant ratings, but imagine managers are not in fact all stupid for a second, and that they realize the power dynamic is there. You still need to do the same job and fulfill the expectations of your own manager, as a manager. It's easy to assume stupidity, and I'm sure there's plenty dumb moves made, but what you find cringy another report finds cool and easy. I bet there are people who would love a no fluff rating and be done vs a bullshit 10 mins of talk where in the end the manager still makes a mental note of your face next to a 7/10. Anyone who manages people sees completely different reactions from different people to exactly the same thing, so that isn't surprising. But sometimes engineers adopt a cynical view of it all where because you don't like something it must mean nobody does.
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