What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns? • Hacker News Board

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#21

Post by quacked » Mon, Jan 10, 2022, 6:49 PM UTC

zepto wrote: post #20

quacked wrote: post #17

That's a great question. The only author I've ever read that I think comes close to answering your question is a pseudonymous author called "Alone", who wrote the blog The Last Psychiatrist. Here is one article relevant to your question: > https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/04/the_abusive_boyfrien... Here is one article that describes the main lens he uses to look at personality, which is "narcissism": > https://th…

> However, living differently is harder than being unhappy. It will always be much easier to endlessly introspect about why you're unhappy than it will be to live differently. As someone who has fully recovered from chronic depression, I completely disagree with this. I do agree that it takes sustained effort to recover, and this must be consistent and in the right direction. However, having recovered, everything in…

Good catch, living post-depression is definitely not harder than living pre-depression and wasn't trying to imply that it is. Updated my wording.

"Harder" is also subjective; is it harder to feel like you want to die, or harder to clean your room? If "harder" means "takes more effort", it's the second one, but if "harder" means "has a worse impact on your emotional state", it's the first one.

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#22

Post by AtlasBarfed » Mon, Jan 10, 2022, 6:53 PM UTC

Um, depression in the clinical sense?

I would recommend exercise. A lot of it. Do things that don't involve comparison. Do things where you travel places but are alone with your thoughts to process things.

GET A BIKE. Hike.

Do a triathlon. There is something about all three sports that integrate three different experiences that makes you work through more of your issues. Swimming is kind of strangely prenatal/sensory deprivation. Biking is speed and wind blowing through your hair and the elements, and a bit of the mechanical world.

Running is the primitive and primeval . Every land things runs. Everything needs to run from something, and run to something.

Triathlon races have a very strong contingent of people that are "just doing it". Because of the jack-of-all trades nature, everyone is inferior to the true single sport pros. Yeah, there is a bit of the narcissist cool bike group. Disregard them.

Also, lift. Being strong in body is strong in mind.

Source: Man was I negative even though I did cross country and pickup basketball. When I started triathlons and I did my first ironman, it was ... different. The world was different. It was carthartic. Not in the dropping to my knees and crying, but damn, something was lifted from my shoulders.

You do even a half ironman, and realize you went SEVENTY miles under your own power, you realize what abilities are locked inside your body.

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#23

Post by zepto » Mon, Jan 10, 2022, 7:10 PM UTC

quacked wrote: post #21

zepto wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> However, living differently is harder than being unhappy. It will always be much easier to endlessly introspect about why you're unhappy than it will be to live differently. As someone who has fully recovered from chronic depression, I completely disagree with this. I do agree that it takes sustained effort to recover, and this must be consistent and in the right direction. However, having recovered, everything in…

Good catch, living post-depression is definitely not harder than living pre-depression and wasn't trying to imply that it is. Updated my wording. "Harder" is also subjective; is it harder to feel like you want to die, or harder to clean your room? If "harder" means "takes more effort", it's the second one, but if "harder" means "has a worse impact on your emotional state", it's the first one.

Yeah - I’m just not sure what useful work the term ‘harder’ is doing. It just compares two things in a way that seems irrelevant, and mostly harmful.

It does take ‘effort’ to clean your room if you are depressed. But that has very little to do with why one might not do it. Typically it’s because it seems pointless, and because taking action typically intensifies the pain for a while for various reasons.

The ‘effort’ piece to me seems like a distraction, and one which can imply that the depressed person simply is lazy or not trying hard enough, which is usually the opposite.

Someone who feels like they want to die can be putting a great deal of effort into battling with their thoughts and ruminating. Indeed some theories contend that this problem solving effort is fundamental to depression.

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#24

Post by aristofun » Mon, Jan 10, 2022, 8:04 PM UTC

Whatever the motivation behind the question, remember this — there’s no one fits all answer.

Anyone assuming the opposite is either ignorant or trying to sell you something.

Hence the importance of therapy or any activity where you have live human beings trying to figure out your specific issue and your unique circumstances.

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#25

Post by [deleted] » Mon, Jan 10, 2022, 10:51 PM UTC

leros wrote: post #19

johngalt wrote: post #16

Don't listen to your brain. It will give you a bunch of reasons to be sad, and ruminating about it will only pull you in deeper. Ensure you have enough of the following: Sunlight, physical activity, sleep. Set a specific time to sleep and wake. Get a step counter and ensure you are getting at least 10k steps a day. Regular walks during the daytime will help with both sunlight and activity. After that, work on diet an…

I completely disagree on not listening to your brain. Your brain has an emotional side, some call it your inner child, that is the raw unfiltered you. You inner child might be screaming out for help because he doesn't feel safe and needs your help. That is worth listening to. You don't want to just grit your teeth and ignore your worries. Your feelings are completely valid and there is a reason you have them. Don't i…

[deleted]

Re: What is the root of my extreme negative thinking patterns?

#26

Post by wilkommen » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 4:36 AM UTC

WHA8m wrote: post #8

wilkommen wrote: post #4

The reason people attend therapy is to answer exactly that question. And if you really want answers and you find the right therapist/psychologist, you will probably find answers.

After writing this reply I feel like I should point out firstly, that this is not in offense to the parent comment. He/she did it right and I just wanted to add/share my own experience. I completely agree, but this is easier said than done. The emphasis is on RIGHT therapist. There aren't necessarily good and bad therapists, but ones an individual can work with. Finding those is very difficult and time consuming. I'm…

I fully agree, you said it well. It can be very hard to find the right therapist, and it’s not like going to the doctor. Anyone who says that it’s like that doesn’t know what they’re talking about. It’s a longer and less straightforward process, and the patient needs to know that they are in the driver’s seat. But when you find the right therapist, it can be a catalyst that greatly improves your ability to heal fast.