An introverts guide to increasing energy • Hacker News Board

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#21

Post by toolz » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:24 PM UTC

jasode wrote: post #19

mattlondon wrote: post #8

It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…

>It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this [...] is not helpful [...] and does change from situation to situation. I like to label myself as "introverted" because it matches my stable trait regardless of changing activities. Similar to labeling myself as "right-handed" because it's an underlying stable trait even though I press Ctrl+C on the keyboard…

If you're renting golf clubs, knowing you're right handed is useful. I struggle to find the equivalent use for introvert/extrovert label. Maybe you have a good example?

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#22

Post by ToddWBurgess » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:25 PM UTC

I am an extrovert which usually makes me stand out in a group of developers. I find being tuned into the needs of how introverts function has helped get along better with my peers.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#23

Post by Borrible » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:31 PM UTC

togaen wrote: post #18

I thought I was an introvert for a long time. Turned out I was actually a misanthrope. Weird.

Oh, that is interesting.

I always thought I'm a misfit, but I'm plain vanilla evil. Mostly harmless, getting the skeletons out of peoples closets and putting them in their fridge or arrange them on their sofas, so to speak.

Back then I thought I do it to help truth coming to light. Giving a hint to get better. But I realized, I do it to scare them and have fun watching them.

...

Nah, just kidding, really.

So, how did you learn about yourself being a misanthrope?

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#24

Post by rented_mule » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:32 PM UTC

mrsmee89 wrote: post #12

As someone who typically gets their energy depleted around people, there are certain people that increase my energy. There are also times where I almost need to interact with people on a biological level. Listening to my body is the thing that weirdly, used to take up a lot of energy because I wasn’t used to/ allowed to as a child. So I was constantly making difficult real-time decisions. As an adult, I’ve learned ho…

My story is quite similar. I was always confused that I needed to be with people yet it drained me so much. The focus on observing my energy, as the article highlights, helped me figure things out. Somebody who figured this out about me before I did called me an "introverted people person". That seemed like an oxymoron to me, but it turns out it's exactly right!

I was in a very social role at work (managing managers) and decided I needed to be an engineer again, partly because the social nature of the job was so draining. The only thing that kept me going in management was one-on-ones with certain people who gave me energy. That helped me realize that I'm quite social when I'm with one other person that I know well and enjoy. It's groups and relative strangers that drain me. Since figuring this out, almost all my social engagements are with one friend at a time. It's so nice to consistently get energy from my social life now!

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#25

Post by morsch » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:34 PM UTC

Not so much a guide to increasing energy than a guide to draining it less (by identifying which social situations feel draining and having less of them). Not bad advice, per se, but not exactly earth shattering.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#26

Post by gdsdfe » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:35 PM UTC

For the nth time the Myers-Briggs test is bogus, there's no scientific evidence that it works!

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#27

Post by scoot » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:38 PM UTC

mattlondon wrote: post #8

It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…

It says as much in the friendly article:

Introversion and extroversion are also a spectrum rather than binary.

(They even bolded it.)

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#28

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:40 PM UTC

[deleted]

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#29

Post by slibhb » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:42 PM UTC

mattlondon wrote: post #8

It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this (i.e. a binary one or the other choice) is not helpful. Don't 100% match the definition for X? Then you are Y! I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does chan…

> I think in reality it is better to acknowledge that - like many things - introversion/extroversion is a broad scale with many shades of grey, and your personal position on the scale can and does change from situation to situation.

"Everything is shades of grey" seems a lot less helpful than a nice binary option that actually renders a judgement.

Re: An introverts guide to increasing energy

#30

Post by atoav » Sun, Nov 21, 2021, 2:48 PM UTC

toolz wrote: post #21

jasode wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It bothers me when people just say "you are introverted" or "you are extroverted". Labelling people like this [...] is not helpful [...] and does change from situation to situation. I like to label myself as "introverted" because it matches my stable trait regardless of changing activities. Similar to labeling myself as "right-handed" because it's an underlying stable trait even though I press Ctrl+C on the keyboard…

If you're renting golf clubs, knowing you're right handed is useful. I struggle to find the equivalent use for introvert/extrovert label. Maybe you have a good example?

As someone who would call themselves introverted as well, the most useful function of that label is, that it gives people the chance to classify my reactions to them more easily.

Me not being in contact with you every day of the week means nothing about me liking or disliking you.

Of course "introvert" is a broad label and no single individual fits that definition squarely — however so are most ofher words we made up to describe the inner life of people.

While I would welcome a more differenciated vocabular to describe how we are inside, at some point you will have to over-generalize if you want to use it in daily communications.