Mental health impacts of a big tech job • Hacker News Board

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#21

Post by deadmutex » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:37 AM UTC

khazhoux wrote: post #14

mathgladiator wrote: post #2

So, recently I achieved happiness because I just don't care about the job anymore. I didn't even do my performance self review, and I wrote a poem instead. I got a Meets-Most, and I've never been happier. I'm writing my final proposal as one final swing at the bat and the title is "XYZ or Bust" where either I get buy-in or I'm leaving. I've never felt better in my entire career. This is made possible because I'm old…

> So, recently I achieved happiness because I just don't care about the job anymore. I didn't even do my performance self review, and I wrote a poem instead. I got a Meets-Most, and I've never been happier. You can't do that! Hey, come back here! You're not allowed to do that! Can you hear me? Get back over here, don't walk away. Don't keep walking away. Stop!

Perhaps... but I think companies like FB also get (total guess) thousands of resumes per day. So, for every engineer that walks away, many more are knocking at the door.

So, I think in management's eyes, very very very few people are irreplaceable.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#22

Post by yodsanklai » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:39 AM UTC

Work is a bit like a relationship. You need to set boundaries from the beginning, and if your employer doesn't respect them, just leave. You can find a new team or a new job, especially in that field.

I know it's easier said than done and one may feel trapped and overwhelmed in a bad situation, but it's just a job at the end of the day.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#23

Post by animal_spirits » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:39 AM UTC

murgindrag wrote: post #15

Quotes like this bug me: > If you find yourself in this type of situation, please do what’s best for you and get help if you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Get help the !@#$% where? There isn't a magic American "help" fairy who bails people out of trouble. These issues are complex, and therapists/counselors/psychologists suck up time and don't really address root causes.

You don't need professionals to help you address your issues. Friends+family+strangers at the bar can help immensely

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#24

Post by fshbbdssbbgdd » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:40 AM UTC

deadmutex wrote: post #21

khazhoux wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So, recently I achieved happiness because I just don't care about the job anymore. I didn't even do my performance self review, and I wrote a poem instead. I got a Meets-Most, and I've never been happier. You can't do that! Hey, come back here! You're not allowed to do that! Can you hear me? Get back over here, don't walk away. Don't keep walking away. Stop!

Perhaps... but I think companies like FB also get (total guess) thousands of resumes per day. So, for every engineer that walks away, many more are knocking at the door. So, I think in management's eyes, very very very few people are irreplaceable.

People who are good, and can successfully signal that in the job hunt process have tons of options. So yes, everyone is replaceable, but it takes time and money to do it. Someone having a weird attitude toward the performance management system may not be a good enough reason to replace them if they get the job done. Hiring a new person may be more of a headache for the manager.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#25

Post by mym1990 » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:41 AM UTC

murgindrag wrote: post #15

Quotes like this bug me: > If you find yourself in this type of situation, please do what’s best for you and get help if you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Get help the !@#$% where? There isn't a magic American "help" fairy who bails people out of trouble. These issues are complex, and therapists/counselors/psychologists suck up time and don't really address root causes.

A therapists job is literally to take time to address the root causes of complex issues. Maybe you’ve had bad experience with some therapists/counselors, but I wouldn’t extrapolate that to the whole field of psychology.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#26

Post by semitones » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:41 AM UTC

thethethethe wrote: post #16

Not really my experience at Google tbh. I've been at Google for a little under 4 years and been promoted twice but only work about 4 hours a day. Sometimes I don't do shit for weeks at a time and things seem to pan out ok. I'm not trying to humble brag that I'm 10x or anything--im not, I'm a B grade engineer at best. Sure it can be stressful sometimes, but I'd say that 80% of the time it's really chill.

I'd bet that you're not on one of the profit center teams... And that you don't have an oncall rotation.

I worked in one of the ads teams at Google. I quit a few weeks ago, with reasons similar to the ones described in the article. I was giving just way too much of my life away for that work...

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#27

Post by fferen » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:41 AM UTC

Perhaps this is unique to Apple? Even during my interview they were very explicit about having to work above and beyond. Ended up choosing somewhere else.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#28

Post by philangist » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:42 AM UTC

murgindrag wrote: post #15

Quotes like this bug me: > If you find yourself in this type of situation, please do what’s best for you and get help if you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Get help the !@#$% where? There isn't a magic American "help" fairy who bails people out of trouble. These issues are complex, and therapists/counselors/psychologists suck up time and don't really address root causes.

The author clearly states that it was the process of working with a therapist and the “face it or replace it” idea that helped them realize they had to leave their job. The solution for any given individual may not be the system as the root cause of the systemic problem, but that doesn’t mean a good counselor can’t be helpful.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#29

Post by LurkingPenguin » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:42 AM UTC

1minusp wrote: post #17

A lot of this rings true. But I also can’t help but think (I’m not FAANG), given the kind of pay at these companies couldn’t or shouldn’t one treat these gigs like 3-4 year tour of duty, and have enough to go away and refresh for a couple of years (with a ton socked away for nest egg/ retirement?)

The problem is that it's easy for people to get addicted to the money. Human psychology is frequently such that it's harder for someone making well into the 6 figures annually to take a pay cut to low 6 figures than it is easier for them to look at their not insignificant savings and realize they can still live comfortably with less income.

Re: Mental health impacts of a big tech job

#30

Post by mym1990 » Sat, Aug 28, 2021, 1:44 AM UTC

animal_spirits wrote: post #23

murgindrag wrote: post #15

Quotes like this bug me: > If you find yourself in this type of situation, please do what’s best for you and get help if you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Get help the !@#$% where? There isn't a magic American "help" fairy who bails people out of trouble. These issues are complex, and therapists/counselors/psychologists suck up time and don't really address root causes.

You don't need professionals to help you address your issues. Friends+family+strangers at the bar can help immensely

Good friends can definitely be amazing, but it takes the right type. Family will often tell you what they think will make you feel better, but not necessarily how to address the problem. Strangers at the bar and generally trying to fix problem in an alcohol based environment is a terrible idea.