My dead dad’s journal • Hacker News Board

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#21

Post by hellbannedguy » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:50 AM UTC

oh_sigh wrote: post #7

HeyZuess wrote: post #6

I do something similar to this for my kids, they each have an email address which I send some pictures and/or message to every day. On my passing they will get the details to access the accounts. I thought it was important to leave them something that they can reflect on, memories, thoughts, reasons, and an understanding of me in some ways and how they impacted on my life.

Not sure what your system is, but if you have one, make sure your email provider isn't the kind that deletes addresses if no one has logged in in a year or two.

Gmail does this too.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#22

Post by Ozzie_osman » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:53 AM UTC

Wow. My dad's not an addict but.. I'm off to call him and let him know how much I love and appreciate what he's done for me and my siblings.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#23

Post by birdyrooster » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:54 AM UTC

"One of us smoked a cigarette." I love the solidarity of this phrase. It's careful and subtly loving.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#24

Post by mberning » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:56 AM UTC

I never knew what dying meant until I saw my old man go

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#25

Post by bombcar » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:57 AM UTC

accidentalrebel wrote: post #15

I have been writing a journal on-and-off for more than 5 years already. My purpose is similar, which is to only have it available to my loved ones after I die. I am hoping that whatever lessons I couldn't impart to them while I was alive, they could get from my writings. I've also revealed to them that my journal exists so that they would know what to do when the time comes. My journal is digital and it's spread acro…

They die? Or you die?

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#26

Post by dzink » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:59 AM UTC

I run a family wishlist site called DreamList (https://www.dreamlist.com) and it is frequented by grandparents. Since 2020 we started working on a family journal to build into the site to make sure families are reminded to jot down and preserve their stories and potentially to give them to loved ones on special occasions. Some insights and lessons are more valuable than any material gift and you don’t have to wait till a terminal event to share them.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#27

Post by BurningFrog » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 12:59 AM UTC

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #3

> An addict who was self-aware, and still couldn’t pull himself out from the abyss. My experience with addicts is that they are often self aware. Their appearance and circumstance might suggest otherwise. It's very easy to relegate these people to some category of cognitive failure. Unfortunately it seems to me that addiction tends to defeat good cognition, awareness, intention, all the rest of the apparent defences…

> Unfortunately it seems to me that addiction tends to defeat good cognition, awareness, intention, all the rest of the apparent defences

In those who become addicted, sure. But that's a small minority.

For most of us, something, whether it's good cognition, awareness, intention, or something else, apparently does defeat addiction.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#28

Post by accidentalrebel » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 1:02 AM UTC

bombcar wrote: post #25

accidentalrebel wrote: post #15

I have been writing a journal on-and-off for more than 5 years already. My purpose is similar, which is to only have it available to my loved ones after I die. I am hoping that whatever lessons I couldn't impart to them while I was alive, they could get from my writings. I've also revealed to them that my journal exists so that they would know what to do when the time comes. My journal is digital and it's spread acro…

They die? Or you die?

Oh. Thank you for pointing that out. Edited.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#29

Post by sircastor » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 1:16 AM UTC

topherjaynes wrote: post #16

Thanks for this article and hit me really hard. My mom passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. She was just starting to enjoy retirement and time being a grandmom. Her journals were note books and mostly documents of what she had done in two year of retirement and things to do with the boys. It's so hard to look at the plans of things to come and what she was thinking of... like the planning of my oldest son's 9 3/…

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a parent is tremendously difficult. I hope you and your family are doing alright in a difficult time.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#30

Post by johnwheeler » Thu, Aug 26, 2021, 1:18 AM UTC

Especially powerful for me was

> My dad didn’t have a tidy ending. I won’t. And neither will you. Our lives will not be a slow positive upward slope before we die in our sleep surrounded by our loved ones.