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Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

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Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're probably not an impostor, but that's still kinda sus. ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ් ඞ ඞ ඞ

Congratulations! You have managed to put an emoji on HN!

that was always allowed ( ͡º ͜ʖ͡º)

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#27
I disagree with this article and most things I read about imposter syndrome. There's usually some good advice in there about self care. But, I think it ends up missing the mark because it leaves out half the story: It is healthy and normal to question if you're over-representing yourself.

A constant feeling of "Am I as good as people think and I say?" is only imposter syndrome if the answer is yes. Otherwise, yeah, you're an imposter.

I've spoken with and mentored many new software engineers. Some of them tell me they're struggling with imposter syndrome. Do I tell them they're wrong and they shouldn't feel that way, baselessly invalidating their beliefs? No! I look for evidence that they can write code. Some live coding, a project that's not a copy-pasted tutorial, just something.

Then, the conversation goes one of two ways. If they can code, then we have a talk about expectation setting. No one knows everything, everyone expects a junior to make lots of mistakes, googling stuff is fine, etc. If they can't code, it's more like "Yeah, you're right. Your feelings aren't just valid but pointing at a truth. Let's work on teaching you to code."

Let's say I'm race car driver, but I feel like I'm no good. Some day I'll be found out. Do I have imposter syndrome? Who knows! Let's look at the standings. If over a season, I sometimes crash, sometimes end up in the middle, and sometimes get on the podium, yeah I'm definitely a race car driver. My worries of being found out are baseless. But, if I'm always coming in dead last and I barely even race anymore, then these concerns seem pretty grounded.

The unfortunate reality is that most things aren't as clear cut as the standings of a race. You can still look outward for external evidence, instead of inward to your own feelings. What do I think someone in this position should be able to do? How good do people with similar experience (very important qualifier) in this role tend to be? How am I compared to that?

I don't think it's healthy and I don't think it's useful to just sweep these feelings under the rug. Which is what you're doing when you share them with someone else and they reactively tell you not to worry. I have never seen that work for myself or anyone else. You have to face these feelings honestly and openly, see if they match reality, and adjust accordingly.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#29
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The real question is why sociopaths aren't more common. Bonobos and naked mole rates are often described as eusocial, but their "communities" are built around matriarchies of sisters , which means there's a strong and simple genetic affiliation. Other proposed examples invariably turn out to have similar orthodox--from a genetic viewpoint--explanations. Humans are an exceedingly peculiar species. But we really unders…

Maybe that'll be an use for a proper AI. Maybe a human cannot take a dispassionate look at humanity and we'd need an eye with an outside perspective. We are afterall made out of meat.

> Oh my god, they're made out of meat.

Hate to admit that this has appeared in some of my social bios before...

Anyways, what would the objective of this dispassionate perspective be? Is it possible to have an objective, dispassionate perspective without it being so constrained as to be useless, or optimizes the wrong thing?

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#30
It is entirely possible to feel like an impostor and actually be one. Apparently, if you suffer from the syndrome (although I hesitate calling it that), then you’re not really an impostor. However, the symptoms would presumably feel the same.

The author provides an incorrect definition of the term “impostor” to work around this problem.

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