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What should I do with my life?

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21–30 of 39 posts

Re: What should I do with my life?

#21
post #14

First things first, you need to chill the f*ck out. You're 20 years old. You've only accomplished a small fraction of your life's mistakes, you have plenty more to look forward to. Next, get a job. It sounds like your life needs some structure and distraction from your own thoughts. I'm not suggesting this job should be your life's purpose, just enough to give you something to focus on besides yourself.

+1

You are 20. Get a job (for the structure it forces you too, not because its "the thing to do"), attend parties, meet girls, do crazy shit like skydiving, diving, hiking, movie marathons, read books, go live in another country.

I am 28 (in 3 days) and about to be married and then looking at kids. In that time I have lived and studied overseas, traveled a bit, have 2 degrees, have had several full time jobs, dived, hiked and generally had a bloody good time. Guess what though? I didn't start doing ANY of that stuff till I hit 21.

I think the best advice I ever read was that object of life is not to arrive in a pristine body in the afterlife, rather it is to arrive skidding in a broadside totally used up and saying "Damn that was one hell of a ride."

Your life is yours go live it.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#23
I was a lot like you at your age, I started my own computer games company without knowing how to program, learned it on the job. The company collapsed after a few years and I went to work for Apple... and so on... I now hold a computer science research position... and still don't have any degree other than a high school equivalence exam. It's all a matter of luck, enthusiasm and willingness to work hard.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#24
post #2

Dude, you're 20. Go back to school and get a freaking diploma. Take those 4 years to figure out what the hell you want with your life. After that you will be.. what... 24? Life haven't even started yet kid.

Diploma in what? I'm all over the place, and I can't just choose one area of study. What if I want to study art but the diploma will be useless? What if I want to study business but end up writing TPS reports for 100 hours a week at Wall Street? What if I want to study math but will end up hating whatever it is I studied. The possibilities frighten me and excite me at the same time.

University / college is also about honing your ability to learn new stuff. Once you know that you can quickly pick up anything you have a desire to learn, it's pretty easy to get stuck into what you enjoy at that moment.

I believe most institutes allow you to change your course(s) and even transfer over to a different program altogether.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#25
Stop smoking weed. It might sound "uptight," but that is the first step you should take. I have done it myself, and I have seen it suck the ambition out of many of my friends. It is more harmful than you might initially think. I just was in bed in the hospital after surgery, and next to me was a chronic (weed) smoker (and occasionally cigarettes). He had to have his ribs pried apart and an operation done on his lungs because of the tar buildup. He had a 1.5 foot long scar on his back and was in immense pain -- not worth it. He was only 40 years old.

Exercise. It will reduce stress and increase your motivation to do well in other things.

Drink some caffeine - it will pump up your adrenaline, motivation, and wake you up -- and is not too harmful as far as drugs go.

Don't worry about school - you can get by without it. But you need to teach yourself - and the best way is to do that is...

Get passionate about something. If you are bored or without aim, you have too much free time on your hands. Build something. Build a game, an app, a website -- anything. Do whatever you have to do to pay your bills, but try to devote your free time to making something you are interested in.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#26
No one is going to provide you the answer, as no one, except you, is able to know what you really want. I think it makes no sense to give you detailed recommendations, as there are few rather good ones already, so let me try to give you a slightly broader perspective.

Obviously, take all responses with a grain of salt, especially mine. No one, except you, is going to experience the wrong decision, and people tend to extrapolate their own experience too much. Let me reassure you, though, that things change. You are going reinvent yourself at least few times in the next decade, or so.

It's very easy to get trapped into thinking that you have to come up with the right decision about your future now. You do not have. You are very lucky you face it now, not ten years later, waking up one day with a mortgage, a well paid job you hate and no time for yourself.

What is really important, though, is to avoid any actions hard or impossible to revert. Specifically, I mean things like becoming seriously addicted to hard drugs, a marriage, a mortgage or a child (and, if you care, everyone will be better off because of a thorougful decision ;-)).

It's impossible to make an informed decision without, well, having some information. Feel free to experiment, as long as you keep in mind the previous point. Your really concious life counts only few years, and it is entirely possible that you have not experienced what you truly love, yet.

It's a cliche but try to follow your instincts, not social pressure or guilt imposed onto you. Everyone knows what is best for everyone, but, at the end of the day, no one will suffer, except potentially your family, from your depression if you decide to go against yourself. A healthly dose of egoism is healthly. You are a free man, and you can do whatever you fucking want, as long as you do not break the law.

When it comes to the drive, try to not confuse your temporary emotions and the long-term ones. Be especially warned about compensating what looks like an eternal unhappiness with other people or any substances. It ends up with junk food, drugs, and staying too long in an eventually destructive relationship.

On the other hand, do not underestimate what I call the instincts, the drive or the things you love. They sound naively, but are pretty powerful. After all, your days are already counted so it makes no sense to waste them because of being afraid not to.

Don't use the inevitable as an excuse. The future is going to surprise you. No one knows what is going to happen in next three, five or ten years. I mean, a decade ago the Internet was nearly non-existent, and journalism was considered a reasonable career. It gets even more puzzling on a microscale, like hurting other people with not meeting their expectations might be exacerbated.

And, with all that praise of listening only to yourself, be a good human being.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#28
post #26

No one is going to provide you the answer, as no one, except you, is able to know what you really want. I think it makes no sense to give you detailed recommendations, as there are few rather good ones already, so let me try to give you a slightly broader perspective. Obviously, take all responses with a grain of salt, especially mine. No one, except you, is going to experience the wrong decision, and people tend to…

I consider the above advice pretty good (to be taken as prescribed, with a grain of salt).

I would add to the list of "things to avoid" (hard drugs, marriage, mortgage, child): spending weekday time in front of movies/games.

Use your productive time on something that you can be proud of or that will create lasting memories. Save recreational activities to do with friends on the weekend - just like sex the novelty will wear off, and they just aren't as fun solo.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#29
post #2

Dude, you're 20. Go back to school and get a freaking diploma. Take those 4 years to figure out what the hell you want with your life. After that you will be.. what... 24? Life haven't even started yet kid.

Think very hard before enrolling in a 4 year (?!) diploma course at age 20... you will likely end up twice as lost at the end as when you start :)

My recommendation is spend those four years working in as many different fields as you can get your foot in the door. Just try a dozen things in two years. Guarantee you will have a much broader view of what is possible than holding a diploma. Plus, you'll get paid for doing it. PLUS, you'll meet (and build relationships) with a lot more people. Particularly if you aren't good at just striking up a friendship, working alongside people is a great way to get to know them.

Your milage may vary.

Re: What should I do with my life?

#30
post #17

Usually I don't both with people who are feeling sorry for themselves, but I'm feeling nice this morning. Go get a GED. Go to a community college and do your general studies. After two years, transfer to a state school and declare your major. Oh, and don't post shit like this here anymore. This isn't a forum for people feeling bad for themselves.

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