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On Being an Outsider

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Re: On Being an Outsider

#21

Post by bluedino »

lambdatemp3 wrote: post #20
bluedino wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Similar story, I had a friend who was born in Korea, came to the USA as a child, and was deported back to Korea at age forty. He felt like an outsider there, and four years later, committed suicide after a bout with depression.

That sounds horrible, normally the courts show leniency in these cases as deporting someone that old is basically a death sentence. Was he not able to hire a lawyer?

Multiple felonies. His family here hired an immigration lawyer to get him back but they couldn’t make it happen.

Re: On Being an Outsider

#24

Post by BugsBunny1991 »

My parents were taken in as refugees by the US when they were in their early twenties and now, over forty years later, they still wonder if it was the right decision to stay here. They've made it to the middle-class and that's a pretty amazing thing, but they know this isn't their home. To go back, even for a visit, is too painful. So much time has past that it's hard to say what there is to even return to.

Re: On Being an Outsider

#25

Post by cl0ne »

pelagic_sky wrote: post #2

I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…

I have a friend from Japan who has lived in the US for over 25 years or so. A couple years ago he went back to visit family and said that people were treating him very strangely because he is Japanese and speaks the language, but he was having to ask people how to do everyday things like buy train tickets because everything is so different from when he grew up there.

Re: On Being an Outsider

#26

Post by Tade0 »

I wasn't born in my home country, and hadn't moved there permanently until I started primary school.

It's such a weird feeling to be an outsider among people who speak your language.

But there are upsides to this - not being too attached to a specific place allowed me to take advantage of a few unique opportunities.

Re: On Being an Outsider

#27

Post by daenz »

pelagic_sky wrote: post #2

I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…

Do you feel like being considered a gaijin was a form of racism towards you?

Re: On Being an Outsider

#28

Post by dang »

FredPret wrote: post #17
User23 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, parent poster is evidently a dualist and believes our true home is spiritual and not material.

Yes well I was evidently taking the piss out of him

Please don't take HN threads further into flamewar. It makes discussion considerably less interesting and usually nastier as well.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: On Being an Outsider

#29

Post by mayormcmatt »

pelagic_sky wrote: post #2

I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10 years later I booked a three week tri…

This is a virtual mirror of my history with Japan: three years (except I was in the rural 'burbs for 2/3 of it), have returned to visit friends a couple times, but it's always bittersweet. In fact, almost everyone I know who was there for two-plus years have told me they experience this.

The one good thing about being an outsider there is people who would be guarded towards other Japanese really seem to open up if one is warm and receptive. I've had friends confide things in my they wouldn't tell their families, and I've had more than one sit-down drink with gangsters that saw me, presumably, as a novelty. It's like, "he's an outsider who's leaving soon, so why not?"

Re: On Being an Outsider

#30

Post by k__ »

grugagag wrote: post #14
k__ wrote: post #12

I never felt at home anywhere and I never felt to be part of a group. Somehow people around me always think the opposite. They're telling me I'm their best friend or at least that they value my attendance. Overall, I'm okay with this. When I have to move or leave a group, I usually don't miss what I've left. I have the impression my life gets better when it changes. But sometimes I think if my life would be better if…

I’ve got a similar feeling. I’ve been friends with many people from different from different social categories but I’ve never felt I belonged to any particular group or place. At the time, somehow, I feel like a citizen belinging everywhere as I find joy in authenticity and have no trouble finding it in the most deserted or dilapidated places. Did you also feel like a wanderer? I think this is directly related to our…

I think, the authenticity thing is true for me.

I rarely do smalltalk, I talk about what interests me, usually the people I'm currently talking with.

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