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Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

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Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#21

Post by spanhandler »

laurent92 wrote: post #5

- A successful life often feels like day-to-day failure. Failure to reach ambitious goals, but 90% of the goal is often good enough. - Dedicating one’s life to work is often a form of suicide. « SINCE my life is void and I won’t do anything tonight, why not study this book, apply for an MBA or build a company. At least that will be some challenge. It’s not like I’m losing family time, and it will help me focus on one…

> - A successful life often feels like day-to-day failure.

So do unsuccessful lives. And moderately successful lives. This is just a characteristic of most lives, unless measures are taken to overcome the tendency to experience life this way.

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#22

Post by monadic2 »

laurent92 wrote: post #5

- A successful life often feels like day-to-day failure. Failure to reach ambitious goals, but 90% of the goal is often good enough. - Dedicating one’s life to work is often a form of suicide. « SINCE my life is void and I won’t do anything tonight, why not study this book, apply for an MBA or build a company. At least that will be some challenge. It’s not like I’m losing family time, and it will help me focus on one…

I sincerely doubt technological "progress" is driven by filling needs in peoples lives. Rather, it creates the appearance of needs the technology can then fill. The "killer app" of a smartphone is still gps + mobile calling.... shit hasn't changed since the 80s.

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#23

Post by crpatino »

colinmhayes wrote: post #17
asimovfan wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

According to karmic religions him having screwed someone over doesn't let you off the hook for the bad karma you're accruing when you screw them.

Luckily karmic religions aren't real.

Of course they are! They have a core belief system shared by millions of followers; they also have organized priesthood to oversee the whole process, and even are entitled to tax exemptions!!!

They also happen to be right. Your unbelief in karma did not prevent that another sarcastic, smartypants jerk would come and bite you in the ass, did it?

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#24

Post by prerok »

monadic2 wrote: post #15

Note money is nowhere on this list.... what's the point? Every "successful" person I know simply buys their way into a happier life. What a puff piece without acknowledging this! Why is this shit even on HN? Is everyone here a rich, narcissistic douchebag? I mean we all suspected....

I guess that the point of the article is also that "money doesn't buy you happiness", but the author only says it between the lines. He does state that success in business will also not bring you happiness if you don't take the time and care for other aspects of your life.

The view may be a bit skewed since he is a coach and will mostly deal with people who have a problem. It is still a good reminder to try to have a balanced life, regardless of where on the ladder you are :)

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#25

Post by hundillo »

jpm_sd wrote: post #9

One word I am surprised the author did not use in this article is patience. Successful people are used to being in a hurry. It takes practice to have patience with yourself, and patience with others. Another problem that I struggle with, and I'm sure "successful" people do as well, is chronic pain. Sometimes it's just bad luck, or an old injury; or maybe you have sacrificed your health to get more work done (in the s…

As a person with a 10+ year chronic injury, thanks for saying this. It was nice even just to read it on the internet from a total stranger and know that somebody is aware that people are dealing with things like this.

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#26

Post by rabidrat »

mathgladiator wrote: post #13

> That it’s ok to let go of the image of the lonesome warrior, shouldering the world’s problems on their own. This is the one thing that I've struggled with as an engineering leader. Much of this article is spot on, but the hardest thing for myself is simply asking for help. Part of it because I have learned how to learn anything, and I can just spend time doing what I need. However, there is only so much time in the…

One thing I've been thinking about recently, is the difference between "asking for help" and "being offered help". It's difficult to ask for help in a socially acceptable way: deferential, but not ingratiating; vulnerable, but not needy; bounded, but not transactional. Whereas these tensions are largely circumvented when someone sees you struggling and offers to help in some way. This leads better results also, as often when I need help, I don't even know what kind of help to ask for. But someone who has gone through something similar, can help simply by knowing what it is I might need, even if they can't provide it. It's very difficult to get that kind of help by asking for it.

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#27

Post by coldtea »

colinmhayes wrote: post #17
asimovfan wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

According to karmic religions him having screwed someone over doesn't let you off the hook for the bad karma you're accruing when you screw them.

Luckily karmic religions aren't real.

No, but real-life-karma (people you've fucked over will get back on you 10 times as much once they get the chance) often is...

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#29

Post by notacoward »

gaukes wrote: post #4

A lot of these seem tied to narcissism in some way. Not that it’s a bad thing but there are a lot of secondary effects of prioritizing ones “success” over all other things like relationships, friendships, mental health, etc.

"Narcissism" is an unnecessarily pejorative way to put it. Narcissism is about having an inflated view of one's own merit, importance, or appearance. In popular parlance it also refers to an unquenchable need for external validation of these qualities. However, most of the issues mentioned in the OP are often associated with self-doubt and/or internal motivation - i.e. the very opposite of narcissism. Frankly, using such a negative term seems a bit like sour grapes.

Re: Things the most successful people I know struggle with to be happy

#30

Post by adamredwoods »

t0mmyb0y wrote: post #2

8. Don't overtly screw people on the way up. Most 'wealthy & successful' people I have known screwed people and never learned how to not do that and ended up paranoid about everyone since they don't know who they screwed.

In my opinion, I would maybe rephrase this as exploitation. "Business success" (define as you see fit), accompanies exploitation. "Screwing" people, could fall under exploitation, but feels more malicious, whereas exploitation can take many forms and is commonly accepted. It can be exploiting a rules loop hole, exploiting worker pay, exploiting current wealth status, exploiting someone's social connections, etc.

Exploitation is not necessarily bad, as most companies to be profitable, need to exploit something. Companies want profit so they are exploiting the price they charge, or exploiting the workers they pay, or a combination of many little exploits.

Imagine a company could pay its workers more, but they don't. I believe this is an exploitation of the workers. People don't see it as "bad" in minor cases, and this practice is commonly accepted. Consider how much Apple is making and how much it is paying its workers, versus a locally owned restaurant.

Imagine a company could charge less for a product and still survive. This again, is a minor exploitation, and commonly accepted.

When the exploitation gets large enough, workers sometimes revolt.

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