For me the happiest moment is when I'm able to fully utilize my ability to solve a difficult technical problem.
A researcher on how to live a happy life
21–30 of 199 posts
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#22Once was depressed in university so wrote this on happiness. Helps me to look back on. One 'good' thing about depression is it gives you a reference point of how bad it can get. Sadly what solved the depression for me was an external event (getting out of uni and getting a job). https://wiki.nikitavoloboev.xyz/life/happiness
Why is that sad? Situational depression is the best of many bad options as it’s the case where a badly needed change can actually have outsized impact.
The general advice given is that everyone wants to change their circumstances when they're unhappy but supposedly our circumstances only account for 10% of our happiness with 50% being genetics and 40% behavior. So everyone tells you stop trying to change your circumstances and change your behavior instead. So, the OPs experience 'sadly' doesn't fit the formal recommendation.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#23Some overlap with Stoicism here. From the Enchiridion of Epictetus:
1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.
The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#24if happy depends on effort
when unable to make effort
then cannot be happy
if learnt to be happy without effort then happy always as it does not depend on any effort or outside influence.. final eternal happiness...
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#25I have concerns about following advice people write about how to be happy. Why are they doing it? Is it because they are happy, and they want to spread it? If so, is it like a rich person writing on how to become rich? Maybe they tell you X,Y,Z that they think were important in becoming rich, but it was actually A,B,C that they were blind to.
The worse alternative is if it is someone who was unhappy, and then did something to get happy, and now they want to share that thing. Maybe it is just a stop gap measure? I see this as examples in, say, youth pastors who are preaching the word, and then commit suicide and it turns out they were struggling with far more than they ever let on.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#26My own thoughts on this, not really a contradiction of the article: http://blog.barrkel.com/2005/10/how-to-be-happy.html
The point about writing down to help memory is good. Though I wonder if forgetfulness of bad times isn't part of hedonic adaptation.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#27Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why is that sad? Situational depression is the best of many bad options as it’s the case where a badly needed change can actually have outsized impact.
The general advice given is that everyone wants to change their circumstances when they're unhappy but supposedly our circumstances only account for 10% of our happiness with 50% being genetics and 40% behavior. So everyone tells you stop trying to change your circumstances and change your behavior instead. So, the OPs experience 'sadly' doesn't fit the formal recommendation.
> supposedly our circumstances only account for 10% of our happiness with 50% being genetics and 40% behavior
Do you have a reference for these figures? 50% genetics seems high.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#28I found it strange that there was not one mention of the ancient Stoics, who, disregarding their non-materialist viewpoints, came up with much of this philosophy. I'd argue they are a more accurate original source of these viewpoints on mindfulness and contentment than the Epicureans.
Stoic ethics is greatly underrated unfortunately. Despite being extremely influential from Christian ethics to modern cognitive behavioral therapy, it's relatively obscure. Everyone is familiar with it without knowing its source.
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#29I'll settle for being content...
Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life
#30Some overlap with Stoicism here. From the Enchiridion of Epictetus: 1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but…
Here are some of my favorite Epictetus quotes:
Chapter 8 Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whatever way they happen: this is the path to peace.
Chapter 9 Sickness is a problem for the body, not the mind -- unless the mind decides that it is a problem. Lameness, too, is the body’s problem, not the mind’s. Say this to yourself whatever the circumstance and you will find without fail that the problem pertains to something else, not to you.
Chapter 10 For every challenge, remember the resources you have within you to cope with it. Provoked by the sight of a handsome man or a beautiful woman, you will discover within you the contrary power of self-restraint. Faced with pain, you will discover the power of endurance. If you are insulted, you will discover patience. In time, you will grow to be confident that there is not a single impression that you will not have the moral means to tolerate.
Chapter 14 You are a fool to want your children, wife or friends to be immortal; it calls for powers beyond you, and gifts not yours to either own or give. You can, however, avoid meeting with disappointment in your desires; focus on this, then, since it is the scope of your capacities. We are at the mercy of whoever wields authority over the things we desire or detest. If you would be free, then, do not wish to have, or avoid things that other people control, because then you must serve as their slave.