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Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

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Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#21

Once you’ve conquered Maslow’s original hierarchy of needs, dig into his final need that he added later in life. Achieve not for yourself but for your community or your world. Transcend the self, and feel that higher order need. As another commenter mentioned, altruistic endeavors are a good choice. Even things like being a Boy Scout leader can be hugely fulfilling of that broader need.

This. This is the thing that I have discovered gives back a sense of fulfillment like nothing else.

My wife and I went through an extremely rough patch in our marriage where we considered divorce. We got our finances in order (even after going through a bankrupticy) and went to marriage counseling with a fantastic marriage counselor.

Now more than a decade later, we are pre-marriage mentors and financial coaches through our church. It is more fulfilling that I could have possibly imagined.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#23

When I was older than you, I left technology to try for medical school. After several years of studies, some of it absolutely brutal, I had to go back to technology; my brain is just not wired to memorize large amounts of information as required to pass med school exams. It was a fascinating detour and I was fortunate that I had the tech skills to get back into technology, though my dreams of becoming a doctor had co…

Did you do a post-bac program for this? I'm in the process of trying to leave software and become a PA, but I'm not sure what the best path would be, or how to budget/plan.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#26
Learn about something totally alien and "beyond" your current scope of life skills. Find a new passion. Find a passion.

Perhaps consider a means of not losing the advantages of what you currently have, while allowing you significant leeway to alter your future course in a way that will become clearer to you as you discover it.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#27
You need an idea to pursue. The idea cannot be a simple myth about changing the world in some way, it has to be somehow more intrinsically engaging to you.

Studying some philosophy can help - not for getting the idea, but for usefully evaluating it after you get it.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#28
This is a symptom of someone that lived a 'square' life style all their lives... and never did something out of bounds or take risks

You really need to spice up your life... Go to the dessert, do some 'safe' drugs, (aka, mushrooms)..., get a mistress.... get a motorcycle (and be safe about it), buy one of those trycycle open air cars and ride the coast, start playing some social sports seriously, (volleyball/soccer) etc... etc...

It is up to you what you think you like, but often you never know until you try it. The fact that you are not happy, means you are getting a mini burn out from being so 'square' all your life. Time to rebel a bit, just don't throw the baby with the bathwater, (aka, don't destroy the good stuff in your life, just incorporate some more risky fun)

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#29
Help others.

If you’re a programmer then automate your charitable work.

How many people can you help this week? 50,000?

Can you buy fertiliser for an entire city? Can you pull a ton of carbon out of the atmosphere? Can you speak for the defenceless, downtrodden, voiceless people who are suffering? Can you eliminate hunger for a whole village? Can you teach 10 kids to code and teach them to all teach 10?

Start helping people

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#30

When I was older than you, I left technology to try for medical school. After several years of studies, some of it absolutely brutal, I had to go back to technology; my brain is just not wired to memorize large amounts of information as required to pass med school exams. It was a fascinating detour and I was fortunate that I had the tech skills to get back into technology, though my dreams of becoming a doctor had co…

thanks for the feedback! I'll take your advice into account and dive into the book
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