21–30 of 64 posts
That's Nassim Taleb's spin. Nietzsche would say that which does not kill you makes you stronger. Neither of which is very helpful if it does blow out your candle.
Technical debt can't so easily be converted to credit with an attitude adjustment, breaking the metaphor.
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…
do you have a link or know the name of the show? i'd be very interested in watching that
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…
> With nerves of steel, he made a killing.
I think the trouble with anecdotes is there is always a counter anecdote.
In our state there has been a spate of doctors committing suicides. A doctor, when interviewed about the phenomenon, had a similar story to yours, but with a different outcome. Someone who had spent a fair amount of time in the military, including combat, decided to become a doctor later in life. He found the work environment so toxic he couldn't handle it. Nothing in the military/combat prepared him for this. In the military, you are surrounded by people who will give their lives for you, whereas in the work environment he was in there was always a sense of "no one has your back".
I don't know how common this sentiment is in the medical industry, but I do remember a medical student friend of mine talking about how in smaller cities, surgeons work hard to make the lives of other surgeons difficult, in the hopes that they will leave and they can thus charge hospitals more to perform surgeries (even though the need for more surgeons existed).
Anyway, I don't see this as a "first world problem" or a "good problem to have". You can have these exact same problems while failing - it's fairly orthogonal to success.
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…
> I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. > With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I think the trouble with anecdotes is there is always a counter anecdote. In our state there has been a spate of doctors committing…
That doesn't mean there are no real challenges. But to some extent, perspective is a matter of choice.
You can choose to freak out every minute of every day about the latest supply chain snafu or whatever or you can look out your window at the homeless bum on the corner, realize he probably has very intractable and nightmarish personal problems or he wouldn't be a homeless bum and get a grip on your big emotional reaction.
Please note the guy in my story went into business, not medicine. This is a forum about business, not medicine.
Medicine is a whole other ball game and not comparable to the sorts of problems you run into as a founder of a business.
I agree with this article, from a slightly different perspective. I’m a solo founder, company started 2015, went through accelerator, VC funding, etc. There’s a certain level of emotional stress I can handle, and with everything that goes into making a startup succeed, I was right at my limit for multiple years. Looking back (with my startup profitable, stable, running well), the thing I hate thinking about most is s…
The toxic part of this cycle is that as an introvert I don’t even find myself missing having friends. For now. If I ever hit a rough patch in life hot damn is that gonna be bad.
But you know what? Friends can be remade. Relationships rekindled. All is not lost.
The grass is greener where you water it.
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…
The only mistake is not recognizing that you're incurring debt, and not having a plan or means to deal with it. Unacknowledged debt of any kind compounds and eventually destroys.
I would guess that your pilot example was less about nerves of steel than about someone who had learned to handle (i.e., process) a lot of stress effectively--which is just a way of saying that nerves of steel is more about efficiently incurring and discharging debt than about withstanding cumulative effects.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. > With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I think the trouble with anecdotes is there is always a counter anecdote. In our state there has been a spate of doctors committing…
I spent years homeless and I have an incurable medical condition. I'm quite confident that being able to get VC money for your startup idea makes you one of the elite few in the world and puts your logistical problems concerning how to make the business a wild success squarely in the camp of "first world problems" and trying to figure out how to get rich following your dreams squarely in the camp of "one of the bette…
But he may well have the same problems in that job (not always as severe, but sometimes it can be). He may well have the same problems in a crappy job. That's why it's not a first world problem. It's convenient to believe that he causes his own problems by chasing wealth, but it's a flawed to think he would avoid them had he not gone that path. Not processing emotions well is not something unique to people who are in the elite. And not trying to get filthy rich will not cure your problem.
I view it very similar to physical ailments. It's a problem, and one needs a cure/salve. I don't couple it with one's behavior/motives/aspirations.
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…
With all due respect, I think you're missing the point. It's not about whether one is, or should be, tough enough, or is overly sensitive. As with technical debt, there's necessarily going to be a certain amount of emotion that needs to be discharged; and as with technical debt (or financial debt), there's nothing wrong with incurring it and paying it off, if that's part of your plan to succeed. The only mistake is n…
I agree with this article, from a slightly different perspective. I’m a solo founder, company started 2015, went through accelerator, VC funding, etc. There’s a certain level of emotional stress I can handle, and with everything that goes into making a startup succeed, I was right at my limit for multiple years. Looking back (with my startup profitable, stable, running well), the thing I hate thinking about most is s…
Hey Cj! 28 is still very young - you'll be fine! I am also a founder, and do wonder sometimes if I'm not working hard enough - ie: stripping away everything in my life. I'm a bit older than you, and worked myself to the bone in my 20s without much equity to show for it - and now I pace myself a bit. That said, I often notice times where my 20 year old self would have simply not slept, and instead I sleep for 6 hours…
A resounding “yes”. Not because I would have been less burnt out, but because I would have less tunnel vision (which is a symptom of focusing on 1 thing so hard for so long). Less tunnel vision = broader perspective. I think I would have contributed more to the growth of our company faster had I slowed down and not turned down every social engagement to “reply to just a few more emails or push that last bug fix”.
I would 100% have done it differently. Looking back, those “last few emails” and “last few bug fixes” were not nearly as important to our company as keeping my social circle (and by proxy, dating life) intact.
I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say I regret it, because a lot of good things happened that may not have if I weren’t as focused. Probably easiest to sum it up by saying if I could tell my younger self 1 thing, it would be that being a successful founder / having a successful exit will only be as rewarding as the people you have to share it with (family, friends, significant other). Money on its own to a single person is worth very little
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I spent years homeless and I have an incurable medical condition. I'm quite confident that being able to get VC money for your startup idea makes you one of the elite few in the world and puts your logistical problems concerning how to make the business a wild success squarely in the camp of "first world problems" and trying to figure out how to get rich following your dreams squarely in the camp of "one of the bette…
I'm not saying the person is not part of an elite. I'm saying his problem is quite common, and has little to do with him being part of an elite. Yes, he could realize that he is in a good position, and it's not a big deal if his startup fails, and he can always get a decent paying job. But he may well have the same problems in that job (not always as severe, but sometimes it can be). He may well have the same problem…
That's not at all what I said by any stretch of the imagination. I said "These are good problems to have. Having some perspective on that fact can help you face them more calmly."
not trying to get filthy rich will not cure your problem.
There are actually loads of people who report otherwise. There are myriad books by people who chose to walk away from the rat race and report gleefully that life is better now because they made that choice.
"How to survive without a salary" by Charles Long is one such book. He paid cash for a house in the country so he could grow his own food and have low taxes and damn little need for actual cash.
There are many such stories.
That doesn't mean no one should ever try to pursue their dreams or seek to strike it rich. But it's a completely valid choice to say "I find this too stressful and would rather do anything else. What are my options for just refusing to play this game?"