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The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

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Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#21

Post by zalew »

maxklein wrote: post #6

The theory above is short term (get a date), when there is also the long term consideration (marry her, have kids). If you are an average joe, the chances of you having kids with a hot top model are, very frankly, very low. And we guys know that. In the same way, the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining contact with us and being a friend or mentor is prett…

I think game theory applies here, similar to the situation played in Beautiful Mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5jrNoNNtrE and conciously or not, many choose not to get involved, fearing too much competition and bigger chances of loss/rejection.

Same as in business - the bigger the jackpot, less chance of hitting it. Picking up hot girls and doing risky business need a lot of self-esteem. Difference is, in business you often have a lot to lose, while being rejected by a girl doesn't really hurt much.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#22

Post by cturner »

maxklein wrote: post #6

The theory above is short term (get a date), when there is also the long term consideration (marry her, have kids). If you are an average joe, the chances of you having kids with a hot top model are, very frankly, very low. And we guys know that. In the same way, the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining contact with us and being a friend or mentor is prett…

   > the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of
   > Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining
   > contact with us and being a friend or mentor is pretty
   > low
I've had something very similar go well. Putting yourself into surroundings where you have positive interaction with successful people is a good strategy.

    > You don't have the money to hang with him, you don't
    > have the opportunities to share with him and so on.
Interests might crossover. Re my story - I worked for a small vendor that nobody cared about, but was drinking seriously with a customer. We were talking about exercise. I was a not-very-serious middle-distance runner. After a bottle and a half of red each he convinces me to promise to one day do an ironman triathlon with him. I couldn't swim at the time.

Six months later, I'm into training, and interviewing at another firm. The place I'm interviewing at has several people who are nuts about triathlon.

The job's great, but that aside, so is the new interest. I did Olympic distance this year, signed up for half ironman in 2011. I still swap emails with the guy.

Some people with lots of money don't care about it. If they do, they'll filter you and save you the hassle. People who are capable of helping you are the most likely to be interested in helping you. You're their canvas.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#23

Post by maxklein »

cturner wrote: post #22
maxklein wrote: post #6

The theory above is short term (get a date), when there is also the long term consideration (marry her, have kids). If you are an average joe, the chances of you having kids with a hot top model are, very frankly, very low. And we guys know that. In the same way, the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining contact with us and being a friend or mentor is prett…

> the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of > Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining > contact with us and being a friend or mentor is pretty > low I've had something very similar go well. Putting yourself into surroundings where you have positive interaction with successful people is a good strategy. > You don't have the money to hang with him, you don't > have the opportunities to share with h…

It can work. But there is a cost - you may annoy the guy. See, if you fail, then the guy will remember you negatively. If you succeed, but cannot offer value, you lose also. I believe that's what people try to avoid.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#24

Post by cturner »

maxklein wrote: post #23
cturner wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of > Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining > contact with us and being a friend or mentor is pretty > low I've had something very similar go well. Putting yourself into surroundings where you have positive interaction with successful people is a good strategy. > You don't have the money to hang with him, you don't > have the opportunities to share with h…

It can work. But there is a cost - you may annoy the guy. See, if you fail, then the guy will remember you negatively. If you succeed, but cannot offer value, you lose also. I believe that's what people try to avoid.

Thanks. OK - yeah you did say "unless you have true value to offer".

Still, you might be psyching yourself out. In your original post you wrote 'hot top model' whereas the original article wrote 'hot girl'. Not the same thing.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#25

Post by rue »

dandelany wrote: post #17
maxklein wrote: post #6

The theory above is short term (get a date), when there is also the long term consideration (marry her, have kids). If you are an average joe, the chances of you having kids with a hot top model are, very frankly, very low. And we guys know that. In the same way, the chance of us having a nice chat with the CEO of Goldman is fair, but the chance of him maintaining contact with us and being a friend or mentor is prett…

> people evaluate their actual value and see that it probably is not enough to make it worth their while approaching this person. Cost: Awkwardness, potential for embarrassing rejection. Benefit: Possible relationship, either short-term or long-term, with the subject of your admiration. So in my mind, if you can get over the fear of rejection, there's no reason not to at least try. Coffee with a CEO is better than no…

There is also cost of your time for the coffee and whatever may follow, as well as material costs (potentially high when dealing with upper-echelon), so it is not an outright win situation.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#26

Post by yason »

iterationx wrote: post #20

>>Once a girl passes a certain degree of hotness, the amount of guys hitting on her drops dramatically. When a girl starts to become a hot babe then tons of guys hit on her -- its annoying and time consuming to ward off losers so she develops a "bitch shield". This defense mechanism tells guys that she is too good for them and not to bother, from this point on only the cocky guys approach who are not intimidated by t…

I wonder how many rejections a man would have to face to develop a "cockiness shield", to continue pursuing and hitting on women no matter how rejected he becomes. After all, it's a small effort for a potentially good returns.

With practice he could certainly toughen up with regard to that but I think that by doing so he would inevitably have shut out part of his heart. Getting rejected by a woman is hard for a man. H-a-r-d. It might very well be that once he successfully hits on a woman he finds interesting, he might have a hard time softening down to something resembling an emotional human being capable of falling into love and a loving relationship.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#27

Post by acgourley »

Jun8 wrote: post #3

Here's a much better analysis of this phenomenon: http://plus.maths.org/issue51/features/rey/index.html , even deriving a mathematical model. I think the same kind of thing holds true for attractive ideas as well: For ideas with killer potential, people tend to say "Oh, somebody surely must have implemented it, is looking into it", etc.) and not to push on. Until someone either ignorant of the idealand layout or too…

Can you list some of the examples? I actually personally find that instinct to be true in almost all cases, but would be happy to be wrong about it.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#28

Post by xenophanes »

People like similar people. They have more in common. Relationships between similar status people end up happiest and work out the best, on average.

That doesn't mean people always hit on those of equal attractiveness alone. If you have more money than the girl, then she can have more prettiness. But if she's way ahead on looks, you better be way ahead on money or something or it isn't an equal relationship.

What does this add up to? Simply: the edge of the bell curve is always lonely.

Re: The Hot Girl Effect and Networking

#30

Post by danudey »

yason wrote: post #26
iterationx wrote: post #20

>>Once a girl passes a certain degree of hotness, the amount of guys hitting on her drops dramatically. When a girl starts to become a hot babe then tons of guys hit on her -- its annoying and time consuming to ward off losers so she develops a "bitch shield". This defense mechanism tells guys that she is too good for them and not to bother, from this point on only the cocky guys approach who are not intimidated by t…

I wonder how many rejections a man would have to face to develop a "cockiness shield", to continue pursuing and hitting on women no matter how rejected he becomes. After all, it's a small effort for a potentially good returns. With practice he could certainly toughen up with regard to that but I think that by doing so he would inevitably have shut out part of his heart. Getting rejected by a woman is hard for a man.…

I had a landlord once who wasn't very social, and as a result wasn't very good with women (but he was a specialized mechanic and made a ton of money). Was talking to him one day, and he said that his therapist had given him an assignment to get out of his shell.

His assignment was to go to a bar (or any sort of similar place) and get rejected by ten women. That is, between that session and his next (the span of a week I believe), his goal was to get shot down by ten women in a social situation. Not necessarily crash and burn, but some kind of rejection.

After a while, you realize rejection isn't really that bad - it's the fear of rejection that's the big problem. Once you can get over that, you're going to be doing a lot better.

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