Be yourself is a non-statement. I don't know what it means. Does it mean follow my primal urges? Follow my idealistic goals? It doesn't say anything.
I think it's supposed to be something like "don't only try to emulate others".
“Be yourself” is terrible advice
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Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#22Be yourself is a non-statement. I don't know what it means. Does it mean follow my primal urges? Follow my idealistic goals? It doesn't say anything.
I think it's supposed to be something like "don't only try to emulate others".
I think it's an indirect way of telling people not to over think or analyze action.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#23Really have to call into question the ethos of the author. Former gawker writer.. no psychology credentials to speak of. These are just results from an N=1 experiment.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#24Buddhist interjection: realize that there is no self (and no free will), and wonder in which century will people stop talking nonsense like "be yourself".
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatta
Edit - Kierkegaard's rambling quoted in the article points to the difficulty of pinpointing the "self", the essence of a human (where's the essence, the self, the soul of a car - a buddhist would ask?):
> Man is spirit. But what is spirit? Spirit is the self. But what is the self? The self is a relation which relates itself to its own self, or it is that in the relation [which accounts for it] that the relation relates itself to its own self; the self is not the relation but [consists in the fact] that the relation relates itself to its own self. Man is a synthesis of the infinite and the finite, of the temporal and the eternal, of freedom and necessity, in short it is a synthesis. A synthesis is a relation between two factors. So regarded, man is not yet a self.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#25I've known lots of great, kind people that were shy, or scared to be made fun of, or just lacked confidence. "Be yourself" is great advice. It means, I know you and you are a great person, you just need to be yourself. No one ever told this "loudmouth" to "be yourself". We tell those people they need to be a better self and go to therapy.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#26Be yourself is a non-statement. I don't know what it means. Does it mean follow my primal urges? Follow my idealistic goals? It doesn't say anything.
I think it's supposed to be something like "don't only try to emulate others".
As best I can tell it means, "I'm naturally good in social situations, the point where I don't have to think about it. If and when I do, that just makes things worse because then I'm noticeably self-conscious. I'll assume you're just like me and need to do the same, because I don't know what it's like for that to be different."
The most charitable interpretation I can give the advice is, "Yeah, you're not skilled at this, and there isn't much I can do to help. But there are likeable aspects about yourself, and they don't shine through if you're constantly focusing on imitating some external model of how to do it right. The best you can hope for is not to have such unforced errors, so that at least you can keep whatever wins come from the real you."
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#27Skillful (ie flexible and situation dependent) application of this generally useful principle is key, as I have learned the hard way.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#28Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it's supposed to be something like "don't only try to emulate others".
As best I can tell it means, "I'm naturally good in social situations, the point where I don't have to think about it. If and when I do, that just makes things worse because then I'm noticeably self-conscious. I'll assume you're just like me and need to do the same, because I don't know what it's like for that to be different." The most charitable interpretation I can give the advice is, "Yeah, you're not skilled at…
Even your "charitable" interpretation is obviously not charitable. "Yeah, you're not skilled at this" is not what people mean when they say "be yourself", unless by "this" you mean "emulate other people". Instead, what they mean is "You are naturally skilled enough at this thing, so stop doubting yourself and just stick with your natural skill/gut"
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#29Be someone that you like and respect. Then be yourself.
The usual platitude skips all the hard prep work required for "be yourself" to actually be good advice.
Re: “Be yourself” is terrible advice
#30Earlier quoted context omitted.
As best I can tell it means, "I'm naturally good in social situations, the point where I don't have to think about it. If and when I do, that just makes things worse because then I'm noticeably self-conscious. I'll assume you're just like me and need to do the same, because I don't know what it's like for that to be different." The most charitable interpretation I can give the advice is, "Yeah, you're not skilled at…
Even your "charitable" interpretation is obviously not charitable. "Yeah, you're not skilled at this" is not what people mean when they say "be yourself", unless by "this" you mean "emulate other people". Instead, what they mean is "You are naturally skilled enough at this thing, so stop doubting yourself and just stick with your natural skill/gut"
If it's not charitable, then at least it's usually correct. People giving the advice are generally unaware of what it's like to be naturally skilled at social interaction, and think it's just a matter or relaxing and enjoying yourself.
If they think "you're naturally skilled at this", they're usually mistaken.
My charitable version is what people would say if they could be honest and were aware of the relevant facts on the ground.