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Why I feel like a fraud

blog.asmartbear.com

21–30 of 78 posts

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#21
I often feel this way too. The hardest is when you are up in front of a room of people who are there to see you because you are an "expert".

Every misstatement or generalization feels like a punch in the face as soon as it leaves the lips. Even worse, sometimes there's a person in the crowd who takes pleasure in calling out the "expert". Even after days of research and practice for a single hour long talk this person is what I fear the most.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#22

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

If you want to read about more people who feel this way, it's usually called "Imposter syndrome" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imposter_syndrome).

I feel this way from time to time, I assume it comes from being self-taught and not always knowing what my peers know. Meditating helps, as does having a supportive SO.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#23

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

I'm there too. I often measure myself against the fact that Einstein invented the theory of relativity in his early 20s. Meanwhile, I'm 30 now with a Masters degree in CS that I feel is worthless, writing what amounts to string concatenating programs all day at work. The only thing that keeps me sane, really, is a combination of doing iphone development after hours and playing with arduino. It also helps that I have…

welcome to my world :-(

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#24

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

If you want to read about more people who feel this way, it's usually called "Imposter syndrome" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imposter_syndrome ). I feel this way from time to time, I assume it comes from being self-taught and not always knowing what my peers know. Meditating helps, as does having a supportive SO.

I'm self-taught too, your comment really resonated with me. I'm a contractor so I'm always having to try and figure out what "level" my peers are at. Once I start to get to know people though I start to realise that they usually have the same self-doubting attitude as I occasionally do.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#25
post #11

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

Me too, for what it is worth. At least three times this year half my brain was screaming "They're going to find out any second now! . Flee, flee!" It all worked out.

"They're going to find out any second now!"

That's really it, isn't it? The whole thing just boils down to an odd, amorphous they capable of seeing straight through you if you happen to give them half a chance.

I wish I could understand the source of this better.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#26
I think a particular quote from Sh#t my dad says will resonate here.

“That woman was sexy… Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”

Let customers find out if your product is shitty. They won't buy it if it is.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#27
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm there too. I often measure myself against the fact that Einstein invented the theory of relativity in his early 20s. Meanwhile, I'm 30 now with a Masters degree in CS that I feel is worthless, writing what amounts to string concatenating programs all day at work. The only thing that keeps me sane, really, is a combination of doing iphone development after hours and playing with arduino. It also helps that I have…

+1 on the recognition of having a supportive spouse - this is a huge factor in my motivation and lack of depression. I know what you mean about comparing yourself to someone accomplished. I keep this as a google document for when I need a reminder to keep going: A list of Abraham Lincoln’s Failures: - Lost job, 1832 - Defeated for legislature, 1832 - Failed in business, 1833 - Elected to legislature, 1834 - Sweethear…

You forgot to add "killed". Probably the biggest, finalest "loser" moment anyone can face. :/

I wonder how well history would have judged him had he not been killed in office. Certainly some positive aspects, but we may have focused a bit more on his negatives (and he would have had more negatives in his life).

BTW, find and read "Lincoln the Unknown" if you can get your hands on it. VERY good read (imo).

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#28

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

Naw, I've been in this thing professionally since the early '90s and every single day I have to convince myself that I'm not a fraud. We're all frauds.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#29

Holy shit. I thought this was just me. I spend a lot of time churning on this. I'm a little shell-shocked at the revelation that others feel this way too. I wish I had something more compelling to contribute than catharsis, but... wow, thanks for (re-)submitting this.

If you want to read about more people who feel this way, it's usually called "Imposter syndrome" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imposter_syndrome ). I feel this way from time to time, I assume it comes from being self-taught and not always knowing what my peers know. Meditating helps, as does having a supportive SO.

I, too, am self-taught. I spend a decent amount of time in terror, imagining a sea of unknown-unknowns just waiting to ruin my projects or make me look the fool.

Re: Why I feel like a fraud

#30
post #2

Just because there's a name for feeling like a fraud even if you aren't one, doesn't meant you aren't one! I felt like a fraud in graduate school and it turned out I was one.

You were an actual fraud? By what definition? [edit: I wonder if you were really a fraud, or are just feeling down on yourself.]
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