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What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

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Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#21

Post by lojack »

bellerose wrote: post #5

I think children get really harmed by parents who happen to be narcissists. I’ve seen a lot of hurt on Reddit about being raised by narcissists and It’s almost as if children of these parents should have been warned growing up and so they could have avoided the pain of realizing the love is different than normal. I think healcare needs to focus on the family development with a narcastic parental figure and similar to…

I'm married to someone who has a narcissistic parent. One of the big problems for children is they end up entrapped. They can try to cut them out of their lives completely, but there's immense social pressure to not do that. The result tends to be that the narcissist plays the victim and manipulates situations to turn entire families against them. This results in immense social pressure to keep them in their life. Often narcissists will pick favorites too, so its hard for one child to believe their parent is a narcissist when they're showered with gifts and superficial things to win affection.

The only helpful advise given to my wife was that she needs to put actual physical distance between herself and her mom. To move far enough away so she could limit in person interactions to a couple times a year.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#22

Post by mcguire »

sparrish wrote: post #2

Just like a narcissist to write a post about himself.

"Since I’ve been diagnosed with it, I’ve done everything I can to get familiar with the concept of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I became somewhat of a specialist myself..."

Yeah...

Also, advertising.

"The fact that I did a lot of research on narcissism provides me with a side job that I make money from. I can help people that have problems related to NPD, or people being victimized by someone with NPD, and help them deal with it."

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#23

Post by fzeroracer »

It's interesting, considering my mother's side of the family tends to seemingly run a bit narcissistic. My grandmother especially, but I also see bits of it in my mother.

The best way to describe it is that her world sort of exists around her. Things only really matter if they personally affect her, and when they do it revolves around her feelings, regardless of the feelings of those around her. She clearly deeply cares about me, but the ways she shows that affection revolves around herself if that makes sense.

It does make discussing emotional matters a bit...difficult, at times. But I've long since accepted that.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#24

Post by danharaj »

dsabanin wrote: post #15
bellerose wrote: post #5

I think children get really harmed by parents who happen to be narcissists. I’ve seen a lot of hurt on Reddit about being raised by narcissists and It’s almost as if children of these parents should have been warned growing up and so they could have avoided the pain of realizing the love is different than normal. I think healcare needs to focus on the family development with a narcastic parental figure and similar to…

Isn't blaming their parents' character flaws for the adult children's character flaws just a way to avoid responsibility by those adult children? If a grown up child thinks parent should've fixed their flaw before it affected the child, then they presume that the flaw could have been fixed or mitigated. In that case, why the child spends time blaming the parent on reddit now, instead of working on fixing the flaw tha…

Determining the etiology of a problem sounds exactly like taking responsibility. I think you wrote your post with a mean-spirited attitude.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#25

Post by Aloha »

whatshisface wrote: post #4
sparrish wrote: post #2

Just like a narcissist to write a post about himself.

If you read further in, you find out they are offering counselling without a degree or any particular qualifications. Of course they are, as a world-leading very special expert... ;)

Sometimes people just need a self aware person to talk to with the same issues they have, if the guy can make money at it, more power to him.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#26

Post by jondubois »

fzeroracer wrote: post #23

It's interesting, considering my mother's side of the family tends to seemingly run a bit narcissistic. My grandmother especially, but I also see bits of it in my mother. The best way to describe it is that her world sort of exists around her. Things only really matter if they personally affect her, and when they do it revolves around her feelings, regardless of the feelings of those around her. She clearly deeply ca…

I think that the vast majority of people (narcissist or not) will never do something unless they personally benefit from it in some way. Everything that people do is for themselves. Even when people give money to charity; they do it because it makes them feel good.

I think that maybe the difference between a narcissist and an altruist is that a narcissist doesn't derive any positive emotions from helping others.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#27

Post by kofejnik »

da_chicken wrote: post #14
toufiqbarhamov wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. If you consider it in those terms, then “treatment” amounts to having someone voluntarily attempt to change their personality at a fundamental level. Even if they wanted to, how likely is that to succeed? All too often treatment for personality di…

> There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. I'm not sure that's a meaningful distinction. That is to say, a "disorder" should be something that interferes with your ability to function and flourish in a normal environment. I'm not sure it's meaningful to draw a distinction between people…

Homosexuality was considered a disorder until fairly recently

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#28

Post by zaccus »

mcguire wrote: post #22
sparrish wrote: post #2

Just like a narcissist to write a post about himself.

" Since I’ve been diagnosed with it, I’ve done everything I can to get familiar with the concept of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I became somewhat of a specialist myself... " Yeah... Also, advertising. " The fact that I did a lot of research on narcissism provides me with a side job that I make money from. I can help people that have problems related to NPD, or people being victimized by someone…

Dude has a kid but hasn't had a job in 10 years, other than a side gig as a quack. Oh man.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#29

Post by drb91 »

da_chicken wrote: post #14
toufiqbarhamov wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. If you consider it in those terms, then “treatment” amounts to having someone voluntarily attempt to change their personality at a fundamental level. Even if they wanted to, how likely is that to succeed? All too often treatment for personality di…

> There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. I'm not sure that's a meaningful distinction. That is to say, a "disorder" should be something that interferes with your ability to function and flourish in a normal environment. I'm not sure it's meaningful to draw a distinction between people…

Well, if functioning and fluorishing is defined by conformity, this doesn’t seem very meaningful. Some personality disorders allow a high functioning career and social life.

To be clear I am trying to illustrate the idea that a disorder seems inherently devilish to define.

Re: What It’s Like to Be a Diagnosed Narcissist

#30

Post by Brakenshire »

philwelch wrote: post #18
toufiqbarhamov wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is also a healthy debate over the degree to which personality disorders represent a true disorder, or just an extreme personality on the edges of normal distribution. If you consider it in those terms, then “treatment” amounts to having someone voluntarily attempt to change their personality at a fundamental level. Even if they wanted to, how likely is that to succeed? All too often treatment for personality di…

There's a more nuanced debate about the degree to which many personality disorders (particularly Cluster B disorders) don't qualify as a mental illness for another reason. You are considered mentally ill if you have cognitive and behavioral patterns that harm yourself . If your cognitive and behavioral patterns harm other people but leave you relatively unscathed, that's arguably not mental illness.

Have we just defined conscience as a mental disorder?
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