21–30 of 124 posts
That, and remembering that life eventually ends: you literally have nothing to lose unless you are doing something totally reckless and/or against the law.
You will find that as you become more like the honey badger, people will find that refreshing and seek you out. Because we all have the same problems and want to be honey badgers internally.
Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
Long to short, "friends"is two way street. And such things can't happen without communication.
I am not an american. But i have no one in my life. And unlike that 16 years old who feels lonely although she/he is in fact "surrounded by nice people", i am not surrounded by anyone. The funny thing is half an hour ago i wrote about what Ive been already knowing for a good decade: people are small coin. Bargaining chip. They come and go. What a coincidence. I decided to reiterate that because some situation reminde…
We are moving from hierarchies maintaining social stability to hyperconnection maintaining it. Expect lot of disconnection during the transition.
I don't think it'll get better any time soon. When I was a teenager, I couldn't wait to start driving. That led to hanging out at the town bowling center with a group of like-minded friends. My kids mostly talk to their friends online. None of them seem to have the same burning desire to drive places-- they like to get together, but they're also fine communicating on the phone. It doesn't seem as closely connected.
After touring a dozen colleges, I picked my eventual alma mater because I met a bunch of computer science students who I recognized as my tribe. It was like an epiphany. I'm still close with many friends from this era (28 years ago), even as I've moved and expanded/changed my tribe. I haven't felt truly lonely since high school.
When you're young you're on fixed rails without a lot of control. The internet makes it possible to find people you really connect with, even if you don't see them in person all the time. Don't prejudge the level of connection.
The only friend from high school that I still keep in regular touch with is someone I met BBSing (ahh, the 80s).
For me, the most interesting thing about all these loneliness articles is how often they make it to HN's first page. It says more about HN/tech community then America as a whole.
Maybe it has something to do with the role technology plays in this issue.
Maybe serve at a local food bank. Worst case, you're still lonely but some hungry people get fed.
Incidentally, how are you going to find a good food bank to help out at? I bet it looks like "technology": search engines, smart phone apps, web pages, email, digital calendars, navigation instructions, and signup forms.
For me, the most interesting thing about all these loneliness articles is how often they make it to HN's first page. It says more about HN/tech community then America as a whole.
Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Here's an interesting article: "Why is it hard to make friends over 30?" [1] "As external conditions change, it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." [1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-o…
I'd add a fourth...People being able to interact spontaneously and without fear. It's hard to strike up a micro-conversation. People either aren't able or aren't willing. Long to short, "friends"is two way street. And such things can't happen without communication.
This really varies a lot. In urban areas where few people are "from there", you'll find chatting with strangers happens less often.
In small towns and neighborhoods full of locals, it happens a lot more.
Not sure what's the point of these letters, reminds me of the comments section in the NYT which I find politically overcharged and offensive. It was an article that resonated with many people. Does it make people feel better to ridicule loneliness. You can brush off poverty but it still there...
Letters to the editor are internet comments before internet comments were a thing. The intent was to display variety of opinions relating to a topic so you weren't beholden to just the newspaper's stance. Not totally sure why they continue to publish letters, I suppose they're usually higher quality than internet comments because they require more effort.
It's possible that the average submission is better than the average internet comment due to the level of effort required. Or perhaps some of it is due to the fact that the printed letters are archived for posterity.
But regardless, the average letter is not printed. There is only room for a select few.
I am not an american. But i have no one in my life. And unlike that 16 years old who feels lonely although she/he is in fact "surrounded by nice people", i am not surrounded by anyone. The funny thing is half an hour ago i wrote about what Ive been already knowing for a good decade: people are small coin. Bargaining chip. They come and go. What a coincidence. I decided to reiterate that because some situation reminde…