21–30 of 46 posts
I truly envy people with routines or rituals. I have tried the simplest ones, and none of them stick. I've been frustrated by this for a long time now. I see people having routines and being more productive and it makes me almost sad. I think you need to be a special kind of person to have them.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not a Buddhist, but I think you've got that completely backwards. For example, the 5 moral precepts in Buddhism are refrain from: harming living things, taking what is not given, sexual misconduct, lying or gossip, taking intoxicating substances eg drugs or drink. No mention of god anywhere. As far as I can tell, in many (most? all?) sects of Buddhism there is no god . Buddha is just the first fully enlightened b…
So my comment was stating that the bit about God wasn't in Buddhism, and your comment affirmed that. I think we are arguing the same point. Certain of the Buddhist sects and practices (notably Vajrayāna) throw gods into the mix because they've incorporated local beliefs and culture.
I truly envy people with routines or rituals. I have tried the simplest ones, and none of them stick. I've been frustrated by this for a long time now. I see people having routines and being more productive and it makes me almost sad. I think you need to be a special kind of person to have them.
On the contrary, I think it would be very unusual to be a person with no routines. Perhaps you mean specifically 'routines that help with productivity'?
So yes, I have no productivity-helping routines.
Some of the ones I tried in a lot of different ways are time management (pomodoro, toggl, ..), activity logging (toggl, todoist, paper book, ..), waking up and going to bed on fixed hours, remembering thinks (google keep, evernote, paper book,..) and all of them fade away after less than 5 days.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
On the contrary, I think it would be very unusual to be a person with no routines. Perhaps you mean specifically 'routines that help with productivity'?
Ah, fair enough. The only real routine I have is "make coffee, kiss wife, watch rerun of the evening news". And that's about it. So yes, I have no productivity-helping routines. Some of the ones I tried in a lot of different ways are time management (pomodoro, toggl, ..), activity logging (toggl, todoist, paper book, ..), waking up and going to bed on fixed hours, remembering thinks (google keep, evernote, paper book…
Also, these rituals should either come to you naturally or be grown into with multiple attempts, so you shouldn't brush everything off at once.
In other words it is useful to demystify the routine, and realise that you already have one, you just need to adjust to make it more optimal.
In response to:
m1dnigh7: > I truly envy people with routines or rituals...
andrewflnr: > I hate that this might actually be true...
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Maybe not as pronounced as in your case but I can definitly understand where you’re comming from. What worked for me was trying to understand some martial arts / eastern spirituality, which brought a lot of peace and stability to my mind. I remeber being tald about all the spiritual things that seem bonkers to a western educated mind, but with the idea that - all models are false, some models are useful, I just “trie…
I always found it rather interesting how similar Buddhism is to Christian, and how different they are typically taught. The teaching of Jesus and Buddha are really giving you the exact same advice. Self-sacrifice, honesty, hard work and being decent while you accept all the shit life throws at you and let it pass, because it will, are the ways to live calmly and fully in between the eternal struggle chaos and order.…
To me, this is similar to how some people are really into audio and examine the minute details, while others are into music and appreciate the aesthetic qualities of it. This is not to say that either side is "better" or "more correct" or "the right way to enjoy music" or even that you can't have both!
The most enjoyable times I've ever had listening to music have been on objectively not the best sound systems. I HAVE had the pleasure of going to clubs / parties with very high-end sound systems, and I have some great gear set up at home, but I appreciate them in different ways.
I still don't feel that I've really nailed what I'm trying to say, but I hope that makes some sense to others and hopefully gives even one person a bit of a new perspective, or a hint that there is another perspective to these things :)
I hate that this might actually be true. I don't want routines or rituals, I just want to do the smart thing at any given second. Empirically, however, that's not what actually happens.
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Kind of makes me wonder if there are people that live without routines and rituals, and what causes the transition to and from between living with and without routines and rituals. Can anyone give their experience on the matter?
I’m not anyone super important but this is how I’ve lived my life. Honestly it feels chaotic. My mind is always running via executive control. In some ways this, I believe, has provided me with a very unique worldview where anything seems possible - any path is within my grasp. I think it has led me to be more (forgive the possible arrogance, it’s not intended as such) intelligent than the average bear. I don’t let m…
Anyways, the main difference here is in how I think your (and mine!) brain works - we think in abstractions, get bored with details and implementations. We recognize patterns and priniciples, that's why there are things you "know" but have barely ever done in your life. That's why stuff is boring - you know or can assume it already because you recognize the patterns and principles behind it. It's just an implementation of an abstraction.
An important realisation is that you already have a routine, it might not be the optimal but you do have one. Even if you routine is "going to bed every night a different hour", it is a routine. Not going to gym in the mornings, it is a routine. Just have a look to your repeated behaviours, even if they are variable, if the variability repeats then it is a pattern. In other words it is useful to demystify the routine…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
On the contrary, I think it would be very unusual to be a person with no routines. Perhaps you mean specifically 'routines that help with productivity'?
Ah, fair enough. The only real routine I have is "make coffee, kiss wife, watch rerun of the evening news". And that's about it. So yes, I have no productivity-helping routines. Some of the ones I tried in a lot of different ways are time management (pomodoro, toggl, ..), activity logging (toggl, todoist, paper book, ..), waking up and going to bed on fixed hours, remembering thinks (google keep, evernote, paper book…
After understanding this it's clear to see that your motivation is simply too low - there's not a reason that is important enough for you. That means you don't really feel the need to change your behaviour. It's a good sign - you are content with yourself and don't fear the social repercussions of your current behaviour to change anything about it - but it also means that you stagnate.
You'll change your behaviour if you have the fear that you could lose social status.
It seems that you try to control your behaviour through rational thinking. But please understand that this is not how the brain operates. It first and foremost wants to be socially accepted while minimizing energy consumption (with bursts of curiosity). If you want to use rational thinking for your behaviour, you have to add a value in your belief system that rational thinking leads to the best decision. This also has to be associated with emotions and you need some memories and stories where rational behaviour was advantageous to back this belief up. Change other parts of your belief system to make it injustifiable to yourself to live with unproductive routines. I have to admit that I'm not sure if this will lead you to happiness/fulfillment (pretty sure it won't if you're currently happy and fulfilled with your current beliefs), but that's how you change behaviour.
[1]: https://unifiedtheoryofpsychology.files.wordpress.com/2011/1...
Maybe you find value in this article about habit-building with some psychological underpinnings: https://jamesclear.com/three-steps-habit-change