Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control • Hacker News Board

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#21

Post by geoffmunn » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 8:52 AM UTC

watwut wrote: post #18

quotemstr wrote: post #3

Markets always appear next to scarcity, and laws against market operations always drive transactions underground, because supply and demand must be made to meet somehow. Without expressing approval per se of what's happening in China, I do have to express a total lack of surprise that people react to scarcity in one area in the same way they react to scarcity in every other. Extreme gender imbalances are societally d…

Are gender imbalances destabilising historically? It woild be interesting to see the history. After wars there was lack of men in some areas. Excess of men was during gold rush, in Australia and is in silicon valley. (I am not sure how much it proves or disproved theory.)

As a positive twist, women got the vote in New Zealand partly because of fears that a surplus of rowdy men 'on the frontier' would cause problems. Giving women the vote would give families more leverage in Parliament.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#22

Post by powerapple » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 8:57 AM UTC

plouffy wrote: post #16

Interesting article. I'm a little surprised on how abruptly the article just seems to end, the author suggests possible solutions to the problem, but doesn't argue them just presents them.

it is not a problem. marriage will need stable economical base. most time, the money from both family will go into fund the couple's life, as deposit for an apartment, purchase of a car or some sort. I would recommend that do not go into marriage without a stable finance. The social system in western countries of course are different, people don't have to worry about these issues.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#23

Post by jacobush » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:15 AM UTC

geoffmunn wrote: post #21

watwut wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are gender imbalances destabilising historically? It woild be interesting to see the history. After wars there was lack of men in some areas. Excess of men was during gold rush, in Australia and is in silicon valley. (I am not sure how much it proves or disproved theory.)

As a positive twist, women got the vote in New Zealand partly because of fears that a surplus of rowdy men 'on the frontier' would cause problems. Giving women the vote would give families more leverage in Parliament.

Fears by who(m)? There must be some interesting partisan politics you are barely hinting at.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#24

Post by geoffmunn » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:29 AM UTC

jacobush wrote: post #23

geoffmunn wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a positive twist, women got the vote in New Zealand partly because of fears that a surplus of rowdy men 'on the frontier' would cause problems. Giving women the vote would give families more leverage in Parliament.

Fears by who(m)? There must be some interesting partisan politics you are barely hinting at.

https://theconversation.com/why-new-zealand-was-the-first-co...

Women as moral citizens

As a “colonial frontier”, New Zealand had a surplus of men, especially in resource towns. Pragmatically, this placed a premium on women for their part as wives, mothers and moral compasses.

There was a fear of a chaotic frontier full of marauding single men. This colonial context saw conservative men who supported family values supporting suffrage. During the 1880s, depression and its accompanying poverty, sexual licence and drunken disorder further enhanced women’s value as settling maternal figures. Women voters promised a stabilising effect on society.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#25

Post by draugadrotten » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:32 AM UTC

quotemstr wrote: post #3

Markets always appear next to scarcity, and laws against market operations always drive transactions underground, because supply and demand must be made to meet somehow. Without expressing approval per se of what's happening in China, I do have to express a total lack of surprise that people react to scarcity in one area in the same way they react to scarcity in every other. Extreme gender imbalances are societally d…

> Extreme gender imbalances are societally destabilizing

Imagine what will happen in Northern Europe after the large influx of asian single men who will want to marry in a few years.

China - 114 men for 100 women (wikipedia) Sweden - 123 men for 100 women (BBC) https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35444173

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#26

Post by namanyayg » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:44 AM UTC

131sdfdasf wrote: post #13

hkai wrote: post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

How does $10k mean they think you are rich? That's chump change. They are being generous.

Seems like this is a downvoted opinion, but I concur. Strange really, how much months/years of expenses would $10k get their family? Not much more than a few months I assume?

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#27

Post by namanyayg » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:47 AM UTC

amrx431 wrote: post #12

hkai wrote: post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

Same shit is happening in India. If you dont have a H1B and never worked in US, good luck finding a girl. I am 27 right now and that too a low caste. I am seriously contemplating giving up hopes of marriage and remaining single. Will be tough as I dont have a family. All my family members were killed when I was young. I have stopped bothering and now just bury myself in work and reading to avoid the darkness.

What city do you live in? I'm from Delhi and the situation is very different here for sure. And in India, the girl's family usually pays dowry (usually much more than $10k + gold jewelry) to the guy's family, so that's something literally opposite to China culture? As another commenter mentioned, the situation in metro is developed enough where you'll find a partner through love rather than status.

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#28

Post by puranjay » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:48 AM UTC

I would like to see an equivalent study on Indian weddings. All the people I know who got married recently spent between $50-$100k on their wedding. My own wedding was about $50k. Food alone was nearly $20k (over 1200 guests were invited - which was on the low end)

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#29

Post by prablenha » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:49 AM UTC

amrx431 wrote: post #12

hkai wrote: post #2

I am planning to hopefully marry my girlfriend in the next couple of years and her parents are already asking for "at least a small amount like 10,000 USD", because "I'm white anyway", meaning I must be rich. Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financial…

Same shit is happening in India. If you dont have a H1B and never worked in US, good luck finding a girl. I am 27 right now and that too a low caste. I am seriously contemplating giving up hopes of marriage and remaining single. Will be tough as I dont have a family. All my family members were killed when I was young. I have stopped bothering and now just bury myself in work and reading to avoid the darkness.

So... The same thing that's happened for decades in the west? Good luck finding a woman if you're not over 8/10, taller than 180 cm, have a job, and accept her being a cheat... :-)

Re: Marriage Costs in China Are Out of Control

#30

Post by Macuyiko » Sun, Sep 30, 2018, 9:58 AM UTC

namanyayg wrote: post #26

131sdfdasf wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does $10k mean they think you are rich? That's chump change. They are being generous.

Seems like this is a downvoted opinion, but I concur. Strange really, how much months/years of expenses would $10k get their family? Not much more than a few months I assume?

Depends. In rural China this is still a lot of money.