The part where he described saying goodbye and playing out that being the last time he'd see someone got me. I've found that health anxiety and irrational fears are by far the worst rabbit holes to start falling into. I've had periods of years where my mind is entirely consumed by these things. I feel like fears rooted in reality are at least tangible enough to not be horrifying.
The things that make me talented feel like mind diseases. Pattern recognition is so easily polluted with ruminations and cyclical thinking.
The only way I've been able to cope is by becoming numb. The more uncertainty I acknowledge as existing, the worse I feel. I don't feel particularly good though. Nothing in the world feels like "enough" to occupy my mind anywhere near as much as the negative things.
SSRIs can aid in that numbing. For me it has somewhat. I haven't found that they have given me any sort of increase in motivation or excitement for life, though.
That must have been difficult to write, but it was also difficult to read. I don't think he needed to lash-out at the adults who didn't understand his illness; how was a director in a weekly TV show meant to diagnose and accommodate depression when he's handling dozens of people to a tight schedule? Its the same in any context of work, unfortunately. You're just a cog and if the cog jams, add more oil or replace it.…
> I am glad that Mr Wheaton is in a better condition and hopefully this essay will help others, but it seemed unnecessarily cruel in places.
You're confusing the description of the subject with the subject that is being described:
It's not the essay that is cruel. Cruel is what the essay reflects: the western live in a society where the last dollar is squeezed out of many people in that society.
> He is doing the best he can, and if you all could stop seeing him as a way to put money into your pockets, maybe you could see that he’s suffering and needs help.
The equation of power is shifting from “Money and willingness to do Evil” to “Persuasiveness and reach,” according to Scott Adams. So while previously cries for help like this meant nothing and were an invitation to private torment, now they can work for this author with this audience. I’m extensively documenting my plight into what looks like a homeless end game, going on for 5mo now, and I am pretty sure most depression symptoms/feelings are actually disappointment/shock/dejection inflicted by those who help was sought from. Where are those friends and mentors? Theirs probably taught them to be heartless by example, people pass on their injuries. I’m not MRM but I can’t say there aren’t valid points like male disposability. Thankfully I am able to detach from my emotions and go about my days in joyful solitude but I’d rather just move on and not be put into boxes based on the past; interesting how many comedians are child abuse survivors. My view of humans as savage with a capacity for empathy emerged, as opposed to the opposite I’d felt in my years as a beloved winner/good friend/etc with an envied life. “Comedy is truth and pain,” indeed. I am now ostracized for looking conservative in SF, ex-BF even questioned if I am racist while wearing a shiny Fuck Trump shirt to my house. Silver lining is I am now much more able to feel the ostracization my younger brother felt in his short life, a tearful “nobody believes me” is burned into my memory from one conversation with him as kids. Kudos to OP for finding a platform, but this level of emoting still sends most people straight into “needs help not associating whisper whisper” mode. Even guys you feel are sensitive and who you have helped aren’t there, in fact they are the first to start picking up social capital you’re losing. As an outside observer of my own plight I can laugh along with the people who’ve received my communications asking for help, and predict their power moves, knowing one day perhaps our roles will be reversed and I can bend their minds with kindnesss. Hope things keep going for OP but we’re nowhere near acceptance of men without a platform having feelings and tears not made out of money. We create our own reality and too many people are scared to step out of the box and try stuff like this, in any case, and I hope it’s beneficial.
1. Define depression. 2.Who doesn't. 3. no it doesn't run in your family. 4. There is no such thing as chemical imbalace that causes depression. 5. It's your own responsibility to fix it. 6. Stop glorifying it.
Are you a doctor? Or just some random person who was sad once and believes they knows everything about depression now? You're a real piece of work.
Edit: your previous comment also broke the guidelines badly. We ban accounts that do that, so if you'd read the rules and use this site as intended from now on, we'd appreciate it.
This hits pretty close to home. I've been seeing therapists for my anxiety but they haven't really helped much, and occasionally there are times when I just have a pretty bad day. I have a lot of fear, but there is no physical manifestation of it - it is fear of lack of worth, lack of success, lack of love, lack of acknowledgement. I overanalyze everything that I do and everything others say or do to me. I could prob…
Pets can be helpful, but I really want to say also that you shouldn't be afraid to try antidepressants. There are all sorts of stigmas about how they make you a zombie etc, but the fact is that they do work for people and I know plenty of people who lead normal lives thanks to medicine, myself included, without experiencing that sort of thing. They do not work for everybody, and they do make you feel kinda ill the first few days, but for most people that is temporary and things get better from there.
All I am saying is that it is worth at least discussing with a doctor if you haven't and it may help if therapy has been ineffective. My own case is not that severe, but I know several people who have had their lives change dramatically for the better after starting proper meds after years of suffering because they believed all the stigma around antidepressants and depression in general. It can be hard for someone who is depressed and needs medicine to understand what the drugs are for, because they don't have any perspective on what it's like to feel "normal." Just gaining a bit of that perspective can be enough to help people manage it.
Either way, I hope you can feel better soon. I know what it feels like.
Here is a terrible awful fact most people are unaware of: The suicide rate has been going up steadily since 2000 and we are back where we were in the mid 1980s[1]. I found this out by listening to a speech from a mental health convention where the doctor giving the speech was blasting the commonly held idea that antidepressants had solved everything. [1] https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/04/22/4748888...
