Why would anyone with integrity and self-respect subject themselves to flawed, unnatural and zero investment world that are dating apps? Can you imagine how lazy, distracted and confused are the users of these apps are in real life? Just stick to the real-world, screen the square root of as many people as you could ever meet in your remaining life-expectancy and pick the best one that comes along next. No Paradox of Choice. No “The One.” No waiting for Godot. Just action.
OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
21–30 of 54 posts
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#22Why do posts like this get flagged so often?
This relates directly to a tech company, and is about the intersection of tech & societal trends which many people here are interested in. It seems like perfectly valid HN content.
Do flagged posts get reviewed by moderators, or does HN allow a minority of users to flag whatever they want out of existence?
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#23I don't think this has anything to do with the incel movement. It was a risky post to begin with. This tweet is making a lot of assumptions. Flagging as no good discussion can come from this post on HN.
Yeah, it doesn't really offer any good advice, just offers up questionable conclusions. Personally, I think it's an indictment of online dating in general as encouraging our shallowest selves to go front and center, but we seem to not want to give it up yet. I don't think a service tailored at dating is ever going to be decent at what it's ostensibly doing. Instead what's going to work is someone doing a local commun…
Yup. It’s completely shallow and unnatural. The only hope of it working is to shift attractiveness matching to AI, elimimate profile pics seen by humans and start real conversations with people whom you’d likely be attracted to, but don’t get to judge before meeting them. Eliminate the overwhelming messages deluge that people can’t deal with because they wrote / took pics that too many people like. This way, realistic potential couples are persuaded to talk to each other rather than just hounding the few attractive people.
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#24Earlier quoted context omitted.
There are always going to be more people that need professional assistance than there are resources to give them said assistance. A normative solution is better than no solution.
> A normative solution is better than no solution. Please explain how. I think it's literally the worst idea to go poking people already on the edge with their hate and misery.
No solution means not telling these people at all that their ideas aren't going to get them anywhere and letting them fester in their hatred. I agree that it could be done without the vitriol. Not entirely sure how, but I agree in theory that it's possible.
But objectively speaking, the incel viewpoint is more caustic than the common reaction to it. I'm not saying that people who identify as incels deserve it, but they really oughta know better.
This is essentially modern heresy in action. Social cohesion is far more important than both your obstinacy and your problems, and if you persist, we will burn your ass at the stake. It's ugly, it's sad, we wish we didn't have to do it, but it reflects the reality of society.
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#25I don't think this has anything to do with the incel movement. It was a risky post to begin with. This tweet is making a lot of assumptions. Flagging as no good discussion can come from this post on HN.
> Flagging as no good discussion can come from this
..in your opinion. Why do you feel the need to silence that discussion?
I get that HN is a forum with its own rules and as such there is no automatic "right" to free speech, but is this really what flagging is for?
Flagging should be used for spam and other content which simply doesn't belong on a tech-related forum. Not for just removing stuff that you personally don't want to discuss.
Why don't you just ignore it and upvote the stuff you do want to participate in?
EDIT: this comment now appears as 'folded' when I refresh the page. Does this mean that it too has been flagged? That's pretty funny.
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#26Why would anyone with integrity and self-respect subject themselves to flawed, unnatural and zero investment world that are dating apps? Can you imagine how lazy, distracted and confused are the users of these apps are in real life? Just stick to the real-world, screen the square root of as many people as you could ever meet in your remaining life-expectancy and pick the best one that comes along next. No Paradox of…
1. Because one is desirable and receives validation on dating apps.
2. Because one is a young digital native nerd with a lack of social skills.
Or both. I met 95% of my (sexual) partners online, including my boyfriend.
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#27Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, it doesn't really offer any good advice, just offers up questionable conclusions. Personally, I think it's an indictment of online dating in general as encouraging our shallowest selves to go front and center, but we seem to not want to give it up yet. I don't think a service tailored at dating is ever going to be decent at what it's ostensibly doing. Instead what's going to work is someone doing a local commun…
Yup. It’s completely shallow and unnatural. The only hope of it working is to shift attractiveness matching to AI, elimimate profile pics seen by humans and start real conversations with people whom you’d likely be attracted to, but don’t get to judge before meeting them. Eliminate the overwhelming messages deluge that people can’t deal with because they wrote / took pics that too many people like. This way, realisti…
Personally, I have found that you best make mental connections over digital media, while you best make physical connections in person. So services need to be tailored towards those mental connections. I have found Quora and other discussion platforms to be unbelievably good for finding people that I really wish lived in Atlanta.
But a discussion platform almost certainly cannot also be a dating service. I wish someone would give me a few hundred thousand to explore why.
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#28>Incelgate can someone explain what this is?
Seemly after the canadian guy killed people with a van, a witchunt for Involuntary Celibates started... For example: https://twitter.com/ekp/status/991817194987114496
Agh, that's scary. What is she expecting them to do about it?
Is she asking them to fire people for being sexually unattractive?
Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#29Re: OkCupid Deletes Post “Your Looks and Your Inbox”
#30Earlier quoted context omitted.
Seemly after the canadian guy killed people with a van, a witchunt for Involuntary Celibates started... For example: https://twitter.com/ekp/status/991817194987114496
Agh, that's scary. What is she expecting them to do about it? Is she asking them to fire people for being sexually unattractive?
Incel doesn't mean "someone who is unable to have sex". We need to have some esympathy and empathy for that group, and many places are trying to fix lonliness. This group may benefit from legalisation of sex work. Pao is not talking about this group.
Incel means "someone who is a member of a group who have a pathological hatred of women and men who have sex with women, who think that they have a right to demand sex, and that if it's not provided they have a right to take it by force by rape". Pao is talking about this group.