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Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

internal.psychology.illinois.edu

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Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#21

Post by xor1 »

adjkant wrote: post #15
xor1 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, I mean personality. Do you think of personality as something being intrinsically tied to a person?. Is a person's personality ultimately what we think of as "them"? I think for most people, personality, memory, and physical appearance (especially facial appearance) are what they think of when they're forced to ultimately explain what actually constitutes a person. Most people consider these things unchangeable be…

> Is a person's personality ultimately what we think of as "them"? I would pull up a huge debate right here. Who's perspective are we using? What if people have different perspectives even after knowing the person in the same capacity? What about what the person is biologically dispositioned towards? What about mental illnesses? The list of questions goes on, none with good answers I think. > Generally, I think peopl…

>What if people have different perspectives even after knowing the person in the same capacity? What about what the person is biologically dispositioned towards? What about mental illnesses.

I would include all of these things under my definition of "personality".

>I would argue that people are changing their actions, not their personality.

Yes, you're right. I'm thinking purely in terms of internalized thoughts and externalized actions. Going from "I want to do X but I will be punished for it even though it's my first inclination, so I will do Y instead", to no longer thinking of X at all and your first inclination is Y (the "right") thing. To me, your internalized thoughts and the decision-making behind your actions are part of your personality.

The realized actions that actually occur are separate from that. Changing your personality means removing branches from your internalized decision-making that would have existed previously, so they're no longer considerations.

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#22

Post by xor1 »

naasking wrote: post #18
xor1 wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>People refusing to do so will be considered selfish and will be punished/excluded from society There's nothing wrong with expecting someone to change their personality. Even if you want to claim that it's not a choice, it is a choice to at least attempt to change your personality, and that's the very least we should expect from anyone who has negative personality traits.

> that's the very least we should expect from anyone who has negative personality traits Who gets to decide the class of negative personality traits? Is there some objective measure of this "negativity"? It seems there are some gaping holes in your position which are probably impossible to fill.

>Who gets to decide the class of negative personality traits?

In this context, negative personality traits are generally decided based on group consensus.

>Is there some objective measure of this "negativity"?

Sure. Do people like you? Do they like to be around you?

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#23

Post by 0xBA5ED »

dschuetz wrote: post #3

This paper is dangerous. It lets an ignorant mind assume that personality is a choice in some way, so a person with unpopular (e.g. more personal) personality traits will need to change those to more popular and sociable ones. People refusing to do so will be considered selfish and will be punished/excluded from society. Welcome to Orwellia!

This is an alarmist response. From my own experience, a person CAN change their personality traits dramatically over time. Simply acknowledging that this is within your power doesn't change anything. Socially imposed "personality requirements" already exist anyway.

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#25

Post by EGreg »

themodelplumber wrote: post #9

I'm a personality type coach and I help people implement the kinds of changes described in the paper. There are many different models that deal with this kind of change. But taking one step back, I think it should be made more clear up front that "having a desire to change one's personality traits" itself is a trait. There is no need to pressure (most) people to change, and many good people feel a strong pressure to…

Given your description of your job, I have a quick question:

I have found that when I speak, I rarely command attention and captivate as some others do. Probably something in my speech patterns. Perhaps they are slightly more apologetic / geeky / nice than others. People may interrupt me or turn away, even people who respect me.

When I do get rapt attention, such as teaching a class, I get an impostor syndrome because I'm not that used to it. I don't let it show - and I finish my thoughts. But I feel my speech is more rambling and unfocused than it should be. I have so many asides that I want to get to, and I like to speak using true sentences so I hedge what I say sometimes, and other times don't make overly ambitious claims.

Is there a way I can improve this? What do you see in your experience?

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#26

Post by geff82 »

0xBA5ED wrote: post #23
dschuetz wrote: post #3

This paper is dangerous. It lets an ignorant mind assume that personality is a choice in some way, so a person with unpopular (e.g. more personal) personality traits will need to change those to more popular and sociable ones. People refusing to do so will be considered selfish and will be punished/excluded from society. Welcome to Orwellia!

This is an alarmist response. From my own experience, a person CAN change their personality traits dramatically over time. Simply acknowledging that this is within your power doesn't change anything. Socially imposed "personality requirements" already exist anyway.

Thanks for pointing out the „over time“ aspect! Many people with problems want to do some kind of 30-day-program to get rid of problematic traits. Yet it might take years to really change how you think and what the outcomes are. I, for one, have had active bad personality traits that were holding me back (I wanted to overcome them, but couldn‘t), yet when in my early 30s, I came into a peer group that was very supporting, I finally got the grip and was able to reveal the better parts of me and had good success in life (and boy, life feels so good now). I certainly have not deleted the bad traits, but learned to work around them so they do not affect me much. Time and people were my key factors. Who wants to join a 3-year-program... does not sound that sexy, but is what it often takes to change.

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#27

Post by themodelplumber »

EGreg wrote: post #25
themodelplumber wrote: post #9

I'm a personality type coach and I help people implement the kinds of changes described in the paper. There are many different models that deal with this kind of change. But taking one step back, I think it should be made more clear up front that "having a desire to change one's personality traits" itself is a trait. There is no need to pressure (most) people to change, and many good people feel a strong pressure to…

Given your description of your job, I have a quick question: I have found that when I speak, I rarely command attention and captivate as some others do. Probably something in my speech patterns. Perhaps they are slightly more apologetic / geeky / nice than others. People may interrupt me or turn away, even people who respect me. When I do get rapt attention, such as teaching a class, I get an impostor syndrome becaus…

Briefly because I'm pecking this out on an iPod :-)

In your description you have just tipped us off to an analytical gift. I would suggest that you deepen your analyses of your speaking performances, develop and test theories, and refine what you described above into a model for improvement that ever more closely fits your problem like a tightening wrench.

Archetypally, I recommend that you watch films or read books like The King's Speech and note every thought pattern and technique that you can single out. "He talked to so-and-so about X. She encouraged him to try Y. In Y he found that..." (Now, who can I talk to? How will I approach their feedback?) Even if you have no speech impediment, these patterns will probably be broadly applicable to your needs. Good luck!

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#29

Post by 0xBA5ED »

geff82 wrote: post #26
0xBA5ED wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an alarmist response. From my own experience, a person CAN change their personality traits dramatically over time. Simply acknowledging that this is within your power doesn't change anything. Socially imposed "personality requirements" already exist anyway.

Thanks for pointing out the „over time“ aspect! Many people with problems want to do some kind of 30-day-program to get rid of problematic traits. Yet it might take years to really change how you think and what the outcomes are. I, for one, have had active bad personality traits that were holding me back (I wanted to overcome them, but couldn‘t), yet when in my early 30s, I came into a peer group that was very suppor…

Yes, it definitely takes time. You're right, it requires that you "change how you think". From my experience, the easiest way to do this is to surround yourself with people who have traits you admire. They'll rub off on you!

Re: Can People Choose to Change Their Personality Traits? (2015) [pdf]

#30

Post by stevenwoo »

Was listening to a talk on the radio while driving home today by a couple of psychologists/college professors, Southwick and Charney, and it was specifically about resilience but has some applicability to this topic - and they had suggestions for judging your quality of life and how to improve it, and how to make you or your children more prepared for challenges in life. Found the website about it and they recorded it in 2013: http://www.harvard.com/event/steven_m._southwick_and_dennis_...

Found this publication from them from five years ago. http://science.sciencemag.org/content/338/6103/79

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