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I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

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Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#21

Post by zaroth »

Kudos to the author for reporting the incident and going to the police. That there turned out to be video of the whole incident was very fortuitous and it sounds like the police have a copy now.

The instructor was fired. Presumably the ex-instructor is being charged with a crime? That part is missing from the story.

As to being punished for speaking up -- the gym terminated the authors membershhip because it seems to me that the author has an open/shut civil lawsuit against the gym, and they are expecting to get sued? I assume it's easy to find lawyers who would take this on contingency and probably reach a quick settlement.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#22

Post by wruza »

matt4077 wrote: post #13

This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221

>Ellen Pao

It left in my memory as a woman without [edit:]specific sense of humor who was not welcome to “the club”, pretending it is because of her sex. She made millions of dollars on the way with no hard work, and to regular citizen like me it seems like strangest complaint. I’m male and I’m not in my company’s men’s club too — people are different to the extent they may positively tolerate each other, but not make friends. That’s my subjective view. I may have mistaken it with another case, sorry then.

This case is direct sexual assault and Uber-y company is covering the evidence, and the latter is the question in focus. How is it related to?

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#23

Post by zach43 »

leereeves wrote: post #17
matt4077 wrote: post #13

This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221

Stories about men who've been the victim of sexual assault are often buried and silenced. Please don't try to do that. It's likely this must be "an unverified medium post" because the media and the authorities often ignore these stories.

Why do you think the parent comment is trying to silence anyone? To me it just seems like they’re providing evidence of a hypocritical attitude here.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#24

Post by leereeves »

zach43 wrote: post #23
leereeves wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stories about men who've been the victim of sexual assault are often buried and silenced. Please don't try to do that. It's likely this must be "an unverified medium post" because the media and the authorities often ignore these stories.

Why do you think the parent comment is trying to silence anyone? To me it just seems like they’re providing evidence of a hypocritical attitude here.

I think the comment is trying to silence the story because of the criticisms of the story, like "unverified" and the attempt to minimize the "punishment referred to in the headline".

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#25

Post by yorwba »

fpig wrote: post #16
koolba wrote: post #12

> Three weeks after I’d sent Equinox a request for assistance, I received a call from a senior global executive. Without an ounce of compassion, he told me I was banned from Equinox — that, as a private gym, they had the right to cancel my membership for any reason, and they’ve decided to terminate mine. I bet this came from the legal department. It seems blunt (and it is), but the rationale would be something like,…

If he was sexually assaulted and they're banning him to cover their own ass, that's way worse than victim blaming as it suggests they are aware the victim is not at fault yet they punish the victim anyway. An economic incentive does not excuse immoral acts. It's disgusting how quick people are to defend this kind of behavior. Anyone who was involved in making that decision is a worthless piece of shit.

I always find it sad when an explanation of the reasoning behind some immoral behavior is treated like a justification or defense. I find it sad because it discourages understanding opinions you disagree with, and because I think that understanding is important. If Equinox acted that way simply because they are an evil corporation, nothing could be done about it; but if they followed an economic incentive, then changing the incentive structure can prevent that kind of behavior in the future.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#26

Post by WhitneyLand »

Amazingly, a comment below was critical of “writing an erotic novel on medium”, yet to me it was so non-erotic I couldn’t even understand the mechanics of the assault. Was this intercourse, touching? I guess he’s damned if he makes it too detailed and damned if he doesn’t.

Separately there’s a thread about Equinox protecting business interests. Even if that’s true it sounds like a double standard, I would bet they would not think they could get away with stonewalling so much if the victim were a vulnerable looking woman.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#27

Post by tomp »

matt4077 wrote: post #13

This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221

Stories that get flagged are often hearsay and depend on the particular individual interpretation of events (e.g. "is he a creep or just awkward?" and "is he a sexist or just an asshole to everyone?").

The next time a woman's sexual assault is captured on tape, repressed by a large corporation, and ignored by the media, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be flagged.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#28

Post by lr4444lr »

I'm sure I'm going to get heavily flagged for this, but even as written from the complainant's PoV, the ambiguous nature of consent (i.e. as it happens in the real world, not in the law books) - must it be verbal, can be it simple acquiescence in a non-coercive setting - jumped out at me. I would not be surprised if the yoga instructor genuinely believes, even if mistakenly, this was consensual. I hope this comment isn't construed as victim blaming or trying to make light of what was a scarring experience for someone, and I certainly don't think Equinox staff handled it well.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#29

Post by yorwba »

matt4077 wrote: post #13

This has 100 votes after one hour. It has no connection to technology. It's an unverified post on medium. And the punishment referred to in the headline is that the $5000/yr membership to his gym was cancelled. Meanwhile, discussions of women' discrimination, in the tech sector, from reputable sources are flagged as fast as possible. C. f.: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15267221

Well, this was flagged now, too.

Re: I was sexually assaulted at Equinox and banned for reporting it

#30

Post by yeukhon »

koolba wrote: post #12

> Three weeks after I’d sent Equinox a request for assistance, I received a call from a senior global executive. Without an ounce of compassion, he told me I was banned from Equinox — that, as a private gym, they had the right to cancel my membership for any reason, and they’ve decided to terminate mine. I bet this came from the legal department. It seems blunt (and it is), but the rationale would be something like,…

Equinox is a luxury gym so it is very expensive. Private trainers are also expensive in the area. Generally in range $150-$500 per session (sometimea discount for a package).

I am not really a big fan of gym membership unless my company sponsors one. I have bad experiences with a few gyms... and every cancellation camr with a one-month deposit cancellation fee...

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