In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older • Hacker News Board

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#21

Post by iUsedToCode » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 6:51 AM UTC

You cannot cheat biology with feminism or education. Some things are impossible to change overnight, regardless of the social pressure or guilt.

Men are attracted to fit, young females. Maybe because women in the past tended to pick not the youngest but the most powerful (in this particular social circle?). Thus humans learned that both parties are ok with age difference.

It seems a bit gross, a 70yo with a 25yo girl. It happens less often now (a wild guess), so maybe social pressure helps a little bit. But i believe that men still prefer fitness over education in women. Not 100% of the time, not in edge cases, but in general. Even in the press, a guy is more often smart, funny, successful and a girl is beautiful, elegant, and so on. Not always, but more often than not.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#22

Post by moomin » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 9:47 AM UTC

throw92841 wrote: post #3

The classical explanation for this is that men are attracted to fertility while women are attracted to status. I really doubt any self respecting 30 year old woman with a great job is going to find, say, a highschool jock attractive. The appearance of being with someone like that does not do her brand any favors in her social context. She's out of his league. This is probably a little (a lot) reductionist but it prov…

It's an explanation, but it's an explanation that raises more questions than it answers. It's hard not to come to the conclusion that our society is suffering from a hangover that's lasted several thousand years.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#23

Post by agumonkey » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 9:49 AM UTC

throw92841 wrote: post #3

The classical explanation for this is that men are attracted to fertility while women are attracted to status. I really doubt any self respecting 30 year old woman with a great job is going to find, say, a highschool jock attractive. The appearance of being with someone like that does not do her brand any favors in her social context. She's out of his league. This is probably a little (a lot) reductionist but it prov…

Allow me to throw my own theory:

young women want emotional "stability" in seduction/romantic relationships, and young men, lacking experience by definition won't display this, causing more questions and worries, thus going for older men.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#24

Post by agumonkey » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 9:52 AM UTC

iUsedToCode wrote: post #21

You cannot cheat biology with feminism or education. Some things are impossible to change overnight, regardless of the social pressure or guilt. Men are attracted to fit, young females. Maybe because women in the past tended to pick not the youngest but the most powerful (in this particular social circle?). Thus humans learned that both parties are ok with age difference. It seems a bit gross, a 70yo with a 25yo girl…

I don't really agree with that. I lost my love for youth but that's because I found someone that kept my most innocent feelings lively. I'm sure that when men end up dating far younger women, it's partly for cheap fun, and partly to relive dear feelings they're missing.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#25

Post by dogma1138 » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:02 AM UTC

agumonkey wrote: post #24

iUsedToCode wrote: post #21

You cannot cheat biology with feminism or education. Some things are impossible to change overnight, regardless of the social pressure or guilt. Men are attracted to fit, young females. Maybe because women in the past tended to pick not the youngest but the most powerful (in this particular social circle?). Thus humans learned that both parties are ok with age difference. It seems a bit gross, a 70yo with a 25yo girl…

I don't really agree with that. I lost my love for youth but that's because I found someone that kept my most innocent feelings lively. I'm sure that when men end up dating far younger women, it's partly for cheap fun, and partly to relive dear feelings they're missing.

From my personal experience it's more because they want a partner that will be in a good biological condition to have multiple kids and be willing to do so.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#26

Post by csallen » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:03 AM UTC

toomuchtodo wrote: post #14

WallWextra wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is not many. Definitely not "so many."

"Quite a few"

You're probably being downvoted because you're coming off as someone who saw a handful of stories in the news and concluded "this happens often" without ever looking at the denominator.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#27

Post by nils-m-holm » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:08 AM UTC

Only n=1 and I guess I'm an outlier, but:

I can get attracted to a wide range of physical appearances (including age) if the person is empathic and/or intelligent. However, I never get attracted to someone who lacks those attributes, no matter how physically attractive they might be. In fact I find the combination of being physically attractive but cold and or dumb even a bit repulsive.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#28

Post by SomeStupidPoint » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:18 AM UTC

burntrelish1273 wrote: post #19

There's "dating" for sex and dating to get married. People in the former mode are pickier, and the latter are more nuanced. PS: Ben Franklin's advice. Older chicks whom are in-shape are animal, bad bitches in the sack.

Good ol' Ben "In the Dark, All Cats Are Gray" Franklin.

Apparently, that phrase actually dates back to at least 1550 -- https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/all_cats_are_grey_in_the_dark

Which suddenly has me curious on the history of advice on how to get "bad bitches" -- is there some grand human tradition I've failed to learn the major milestones of?

(Like fart jokes which are ~4k years old or advertisements which are ~6k years old.)

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#29

Post by jlgaddis » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:25 AM UTC

danharaj wrote: post #15

throw92841 wrote: post #3

The classical explanation for this is that men are attracted to fertility while women are attracted to status. I really doubt any self respecting 30 year old woman with a great job is going to find, say, a highschool jock attractive. The appearance of being with someone like that does not do her brand any favors in her social context. She's out of his league. This is probably a little (a lot) reductionist but it prov…

> The classical explanation for this is that men are attracted to fertility while women are attracted to status. Then why don't young women prefer older men, who are more likely than men of their age to be more distinguished and accomplished? Maybe women prefer partners they can relate better to. Why is that not less plausible than this unjustified cynicism?

When we met and began dating (three years ago), my current girlfriend was 20 and I was 35.

Disclaimer: n=1.

Re: In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older

#30

Post by jopsen » Sat, Sep 30, 2017, 10:31 AM UTC

agumonkey wrote: post #24

iUsedToCode wrote: post #21

You cannot cheat biology with feminism or education. Some things are impossible to change overnight, regardless of the social pressure or guilt. Men are attracted to fit, young females. Maybe because women in the past tended to pick not the youngest but the most powerful (in this particular social circle?). Thus humans learned that both parties are ok with age difference. It seems a bit gross, a 70yo with a 25yo girl…

I don't really agree with that. I lost my love for youth but that's because I found someone that kept my most innocent feelings lively. I'm sure that when men end up dating far younger women, it's partly for cheap fun, and partly to relive dear feelings they're missing.

statistics doesn't always apply on a personal level, it's statistics :)