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My loss

sivers.org

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Re: My loss

#21

Post by gruseom »

daeken wrote: post #16

I'm really hoping this happens for me. Not the bad part, of course; I'm hoping I've seen the worst of that. My startup is about to launch its flagship product on Tuesday after a year and a half of work, but we (myself and one of my cofounders that I live with) are currently packing up to go live with our respective parents, as the money's simply gone. It's been the most stressful 6 months of my life, as we've seen th…

Best of luck with it! Many here will be rooting for you.

Was mich nicht umbringt macht mich stärker.

Re: My loss

#22

Post by honopu »

cageface wrote: post #20
honopu wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

is it and shouldn't it be a net worth upon marriage vs a net worth upon filing for divorce? The yearly earnings of the breadwinner shouldn't matter, they both squandered that while married, right?, if they didn't well let's split it then, as that is fair?

You also split debts. I had a friend that split up with his wife but got saddled with half of the debts she ran up running her own business that he had nothing to do with. This is why it's very important to document the date of separation because that's what's used to decide who gets what.

thank you. Fortunately I am not that well educated on the subject :)

Re: My loss

#23

Post by yef »

cageface wrote: post #15
yef wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My understanding is that half of everything you earned and bought while married is on the table. Stuff you owned or earned before the marriage is not on the table unless you want it to be. Non-marital property vs. marital property. I'm not a lawyer.

I think it depends on the state but you're right that's how it works in CA. Of course that means that if you're the only one working in a marriage that's half of your 100%. If you get married young you probably won't be starting with much.

Yup. Presumably the non-earner is contributing something else to the marriage and to the household (like child-rearing). And you'd think that if that person was a total slacker and bad spouse, the court would divide the stuff in favor of the earner.

But who knows. I'd want to talk to a divorce lawyer or judge.

I just wanted to clarify the common misconception that you can "marry someone and take half of their [existing] stuff".

Re: My loss

#24

Post by cageface »

yef wrote: post #23
cageface wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it depends on the state but you're right that's how it works in CA. Of course that means that if you're the only one working in a marriage that's half of your 100%. If you get married young you probably won't be starting with much.

Yup. Presumably the non-earner is contributing something else to the marriage and to the household (like child-rearing). And you'd think that if that person was a total slacker and bad spouse, the court would divide the stuff in favor of the earner. But who knows. I'd want to talk to a divorce lawyer or judge. I just wanted to clarify the common misconception that you can "marry someone and take half of their [existi…

And you'd think that if that person was a total slacker and bad spouse, the court would divide the stuff in favor of the earner.

Again I think this varies from state to state but at least in CA considerations like this make zero difference. You split anything acquired during the marriage 50/50. Period. I imagine the intent of this rule is to limit the legal wiggle room and consequently the court costs of a divorce but the first thing they'll tell you is to not even use the word "fair".

But you're right that things you owned beforehand remain yours.

Re: My loss

#25

Post by fleitz »

honopu wrote: post #9
fleitz wrote: post #4

Wow. That reminds me of last year. My ex made up phony charges to the police so she could keep more of my money (which the crown had to drop). After work found out they threatened to fire me to negotiate themselves a better position. Lost most of what I had to lawyers fees, lost the rest of it to the market. What I did in response: Lost 60 pounds Met a great, funny, vibrant, intelligent, much thinner and younger woma…

do you regret the trip to Burning Man? I've made a few trips to Kaua'i I couldn't necessarily "afford" and haven't regretted it.. which is why I ask. Thank You. edit: seems like you liked it :) Good on you bud.

Not at all.

I went to restore my faith in humanity after reading about the gifting culture. It was at a very philosophical point in my life. I decided that if there were people that gave with out asking still left on the planet that I'd find them there, and so with that in mind I put an ad up on CL offering a free ride.

It was a great party and I ended up doing a lot of that, but wandering the playa by day and night in varying forms of consciousness was some sort of vision quest for me.

For me it's not a question of can you afford it but can you afford not to.

Re: My loss

#26

Post by jacquesm »

sivers wrote: post #11
dkersten wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or make sure you understand the intricacies of asset protection and hide as much of your wealth away, out of reach of your ex-spouses lawyers.

Strong asset protection should never require hiding! You should always be able to have all assets fully revealed, and still be protected. Never depend on secrets.

That's so true. The other advice reads like security through obscurity, once the secret is blown (and there are no secrets if there is more than one person involved) the security is too.

Re: My loss

#27

Post by jacquesm »

daeken wrote: post #16

I'm really hoping this happens for me. Not the bad part, of course; I'm hoping I've seen the worst of that. My startup is about to launch its flagship product on Tuesday after a year and a half of work, but we (myself and one of my cofounders that I live with) are currently packing up to go live with our respective parents, as the money's simply gone. It's been the most stressful 6 months of my life, as we've seen th…

Why don't you go after external capital, it looks like you're well positioned to do that ?

Re: My loss

#28

Post by dkersten »

sivers wrote: post #11
dkersten wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or make sure you understand the intricacies of asset protection and hide as much of your wealth away, out of reach of your ex-spouses lawyers.

Strong asset protection should never require hiding! You should always be able to have all assets fully revealed, and still be protected. Never depend on secrets.

Bad choice of words perhaps. I really meant hide it out of reach, not hide it out of sight.

Good point though. Actually hiding assets is a terrible form of protection (just as in computing security through obscurity is a terrible means of security).

EDIT: Looks like jacquesm can type faster than I :-/

Re: My loss

#29

Post by daeken »

jacquesm wrote: post #27
daeken wrote: post #16

I'm really hoping this happens for me. Not the bad part, of course; I'm hoping I've seen the worst of that. My startup is about to launch its flagship product on Tuesday after a year and a half of work, but we (myself and one of my cofounders that I live with) are currently packing up to go live with our respective parents, as the money's simply gone. It's been the most stressful 6 months of my life, as we've seen th…

Why don't you go after external capital, it looks like you're well positioned to do that ?

We've been doing everything possible to not give up any of the company. We won't let it kill us, but we're going to try and get it off the ground without taking any investment if at all possible. We're starting to bring in money now, and we've got a lot of interested people, but the timing is just horrid.

Re: My loss

#30

Post by daeken »

gruseom wrote: post #21
daeken wrote: post #16

I'm really hoping this happens for me. Not the bad part, of course; I'm hoping I've seen the worst of that. My startup is about to launch its flagship product on Tuesday after a year and a half of work, but we (myself and one of my cofounders that I live with) are currently packing up to go live with our respective parents, as the money's simply gone. It's been the most stressful 6 months of my life, as we've seen th…

Best of luck with it! Many here will be rooting for you. Was mich nicht umbringt macht mich stärker.

Thanks very much -- honestly, if it wasn't for the support of the startup community (even though I'm not one of the cool kids doing web apps ;) ), there's no way in hell I could've made it through thus far. This has been one of the most incredible and incredibly stressful and trying experiences of my life, but it's all worth it, even if it doesn't pan out. If nothing else, I won't look back and wonder "what if".
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