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It's getting better but these are often prerequisites to spending time with people outside of work.
Edit: I agree with a lot of this discussion: Do startups have a drinking problem? | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11723133
I feel like this piece starts with the assumption that we should WANT to be well connected. Being that well connected, however, doesn't come without costs (in time and effort, mainly). I don't think I want to be this well connected.
I read Never Eat Alone about 10 years ago and, similar to yourself, didn't like the idea of maintaining a massive network. But many of these ideas can still be positively (not necessarily profitably) applied to your smaller social graph, resulting in stronger relationships amongst immediate or extended family, and friends you make a conscious effort to stay in touch with.
The the tech realm: drink coffee and/or alchohol (much more effective). It's getting better but these are often prerequisites to spending time with people outside of work. Edit: I agree with a lot of this discussion: Do startups have a drinking problem? | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11723133
The the tech realm: drink coffee and/or alchohol (much more effective). It's getting better but these are often prerequisites to spending time with people outside of work. Edit: I agree with a lot of this discussion: Do startups have a drinking problem? | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11723133
Cafes and bars do sell other beverages. Drink juice, or soda, or sparkling water. Order a virgin cocktail.
He cites Contactually for managing his network, which seems nice, but it's too expensive for me and I generally prefer self-hosted solutions. Does anyone knows of good alternatives?
If you really love self-hosted, SugarCRM is the main open source CRM out there.
Chris is an amazing person who takes the time to get to know you. When we were fundraising, instead of having us do a regular pitch he took me to an event where Peter Thiel was giving a talk about his new book. We were a chess education company, so he thought it would be good for us to talk with Thiel as he's a chess master himself. He didn't end up investing in us but my experience with him was much more memorable t…
Dale Carnegie 101 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen...
He cites Contactually for managing his network, which seems nice, but it's too expensive for me and I generally prefer self-hosted solutions. Does anyone knows of good alternatives?
Hey there - I'm Zvi, CEO of Contactually. Honestly, if cost is a major factor for you, you can build a spreadsheet tool that can work really well. However, it takes the same discipline that Contactually or any other tool would require - just a bit more time. If you really love self-hosted, SugarCRM is the main open source CRM out there.
Sugar has its own problems: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14181662
Dale Carnegie 101 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen...
Yep, this article is a re-hash of what Dale Carnegie started teaching over 100 years ago. My main takeaway from that class was to ask enough questions when I meet someone so that I can to steer the conversation toward a mutual interest. After that the personal connection is made and conversation is fun and easy. The best way to make an impression on someone is to ask questions about them until you find some
Yes, but you have to be careful or you can make the person feel like they are being interrogated. Maybe not quite to the level of shining a bright light in their face and asking "where were you at 8:00pm on the night of January 23rd", but still, an endless stream of questions - done poorly - can make people feel uncomfortable even if it is true that "people love talking about themselves".
You may laugh at this, but some of the best advice I've heard on this subject came from Kezia Noble, a lady who teaches "pickup artist" material. Except... she bills herself as part of that world, but in reality her material is just general conversation skills which can be applied in pretty much any context.
I don't feel like trying to type up a complete rehash / summary of her technique here, but a big part of it involves distinguishing between "high value" answers to questions, and "low value" answers, and figuring out how to branch off from the high value answers in a way that keeps the other person engaged. There's also an element about making statements instead of just asking questions, etc.
Just to illustrate, here's a really made up example of how this might go:
You: "So, where did you go to school?"
Them: "Berkeley" (reasonably high value answer, but what to do with it??)
You: "Oh. So... what did you major in?"
Them: "Economics." (again, good answer, but can you do something with it?)
You: "Oh. Ah. Cool. So you must like math, huh?"
Them: "no". ("yes", "no", etc. are usually low value answers that don't lead naturally to anything else)
You: "Oh. Right. SO, um... do you like fishing?"
Them: "What? No. What is this, an interview?"
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On the other hand, here's how it could go:
You: "So, where did you go to school?"
Them: "Berkeley"
You: "Nice. Why did you pick Berkeley?"
Them: "Well, it has a reputation for great academics and a tradition of activism."
You: "Oh, yeah. My school ($WHATEVER) had a great academics as well, but not much activism." (statement instead of a question)
Them: "Activism is really important to me, especially around climate change. I wouldn't have gone to a school that didn't have that aspect."
You: "Cool. So what did you major in?"
Them: "Economics."
You: "Ah... so what's the connection between economics and climate change?"
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Anyway, you can kind of see the pattern. Elicit more complex responses, make statements, lead off of their complex answers, don't just suddenly branch off to something unrelated, etc.
These are good techniques for working a network but you'll need better advice than "be human" if you want to be influential. Networking is overrated. Figure out what you're good at and make sure people hear about it. The network will take care of itself.
In other words, you're already networking when you're trying to get people to pay attention to you. The article provides a set of practical lessons intended to help you with that.