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A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

boston.com

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Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#21

Post by johnchristopher »

grx wrote: post #4
johnchristopher wrote: post #2

Been there. As one of the 20-something whose parents didn't help with the rent. Two consequences: - really tough discussions with some friends and acquaintances once I realised their parents heavily subsidized their way of life while they were putting the social persona of young working adult being independent and nagging me about when I was going to buy my first car or why I was always the one who made it through th…

Why didn't they help?

Well.. You edited the question before I could see it so now you got me curious :). Feel free to shoot, this is the internet and a semi-anonymous persona.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#22

Post by acomjean »

Godel_unicode wrote: post #15
eli_gottlieb wrote: post #11

As a tenant in one property in Boston who receives no help from his parents, I deeply resent the ease with which you attained wealth by just renting out ever-rising Bostonian housing.

Curious how you know it was easy? A colleague of mine is a landlord and it seems externally to be a huge pain. Definitely put me off of trying to do the same.

In my condo building a lot of people who have moved out (out of town, out of state) they keep renting their places out with the help of a local realtor/manager that takes a cut and is supposed to deal with stuff. They don't really, and the volunteer condo board ends up dealing with a lot of the loose ends.

Based on the how much rent is in Boston are, there is a strong , strong, strong incentive to rent out. I could make about 3x my mortgage/fees by renting my place in cambridge which I bought early part of this century (of course where would I live...).

Since we have about 50% owner occupied, and the tenants are paying a lot, so they expect a lot.

Its becoming a city for rich people and students. I can understand the resentment. I think it hurts the region.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#23

Post by pboutros »

>The choice of career path matters. Those in the art and design fields get the most help, an average of $3,600 a year. People who work in farming, construction, retail and personal services get the least.

Am I wrong to assume that it isn't the career choice so much as how wealthy the parents are?

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#24

Post by johnchristopher »

Godel_unicode wrote: post #16
jff wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of my college roommates would get a small stack of signed blank checks from his mother every time he went home, in order to pay the rent and whatever else came up. He kept them underneath his mattress, which we discovered when we had to move from one apartment to another and his ass never showed up to help.

And here I am, paranoid about having unsigned checks laying around because they have my account and ACH # on them. Other people's tolerance for risk always amazes me!

Eh. Usage of checks in the US always puzzled me but now that we have smartphones with direct access to our bank and it seems even weirder to still do things with checks (vs cash).

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#25

Post by mahyarm »

Godel_unicode wrote: post #16
jff wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of my college roommates would get a small stack of signed blank checks from his mother every time he went home, in order to pay the rent and whatever else came up. He kept them underneath his mattress, which we discovered when we had to move from one apartment to another and his ass never showed up to help.

And here I am, paranoid about having unsigned checks laying around because they have my account and ACH # on them. Other people's tolerance for risk always amazes me!

More like unawareness of risk.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#26

Post by manarth »

grx wrote: post #3

Is this an American thing? It's pretty common in Germany, but I remember that foreigners often see us as the 'renters'-country (meaning the majority rents instead of owning a property), so there might be a difference. Just wondering why this seems an increasing thing in your cities. It's also no big secret that parents often support their children far beyond the school time if they are not able to apply for student l…

The renting is a bit of a red herring; the headline could easily read "Their parents help with the bills" (and in the article, it actually says "receive some financial assistance from their parents for living expenses", rather than rent specifically).

It is a surprise to me that it's also common in Germany though: the perception that it is a 'renters'-country led me to believe that the rents were relatively affordable (as a result of protections like rent control). But I guess even "relatively affordable" can be challenging for an under-25 in today's economy.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#27

Post by rjeli »

grx wrote: post #4
johnchristopher wrote: post #2

Been there. As one of the 20-something whose parents didn't help with the rent. Two consequences: - really tough discussions with some friends and acquaintances once I realised their parents heavily subsidized their way of life while they were putting the social persona of young working adult being independent and nagging me about when I was going to buy my first car or why I was always the one who made it through th…

Why didn't they help?

not OP, but I dropped out of school to come work in the Bay and my parents did not support that

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#28

Post by DanielleMolloy »

grx wrote: post #3

Is this an American thing? It's pretty common in Germany, but I remember that foreigners often see us as the 'renters'-country (meaning the majority rents instead of owning a property), so there might be a difference. Just wondering why this seems an increasing thing in your cities. It's also no big secret that parents often support their children far beyond the school time if they are not able to apply for student l…

One significant difference is of course that in Germany universities are free, so the overall financial burden of education is not nearly as high as in the U.S. If you stay away from the expensive cities (Munich, Hamburg) or their centers and live in outskirts or other cities with good universities like Berlin or Leipzig, rents are not really that expensive. I paid 150€ / month for a small central room in a shared apartment in a German university town, which I could pay for completely with a student assistantship. Most rents for rooms in shared flats are in the range 200€ - 450€ (depending on the area).

Btw, BAFöG has been such a successful model for Germany that one wishes every country would introduce such a system.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#29

Post by sverige »

johnchristopher wrote: post #2

Been there. As one of the 20-something whose parents didn't help with the rent. Two consequences: - really tough discussions with some friends and acquaintances once I realised their parents heavily subsidized their way of life while they were putting the social persona of young working adult being independent and nagging me about when I was going to buy my first car or why I was always the one who made it through th…

The people you think you want to hang around with in your 20s can seem really ridiculous when you're in your 40s and 50s, and I say that as someone who ran with some people in my 20s who most here would recognize immediately. Those who achieved these things received almost no parental assistance when we were in our 20s. Many of those who were subsidized have gone on to spectacularly mediocre careers.

With regard to the job search, work on reducing stress. That carefree attitude that helps in getting job offers is directly (and sometimes geometrically) proportional to your ability to recognize all of the good things you have at any given moment. Sometimes that includes changing (not lowering) expectations.

I say all of this with the caveat that 1) fame and fortune are overrated as human goods, especially by young people; and 2) I am neither famous nor wealthy, but I am exceedingly happy with my life compared to my 20s. I'm now in my 50s and generally successful in curbing my urge to bail out my 28-year-old daughter out of the messes she sometimes makes.

Edit: But I have been there a couple of times where it was help her or she ends up on the streets.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#30

Post by myowncrapulence »

dehugger wrote: post #13
grx wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why didn't they help?

Many parents (mine included) say "if you aren't in school pay your own way". Once you are out of school, regardless if your wage is still barely above minimum, you are on your own.

Same. I come from middle class parents who could certainly afford to pay my way but chose to make me learn how to stand on my own feet. Certainly strips the world of its sheen when you see how people treat you if you are perceived as poor.

Certainly makes you realize who your true friends are.

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