Please Rate My Startup - LoyaltySpace.com

Yes would really appreciate that - seems like we may be complimentary in some ways.

I love the idea and think you are on the right track with easy setup and SMS integration. Try and look at it more from the customer's point of view; they are basically signing up to be spammed, correct? A small business may want all those features you listed (remember that features don't sell, benefits do), but they aren't going to buy if you don't show how customers will also benefit and opt-in in droves. SMS is simple for a lot of people to use, but it might be helpful to explain how people actually opt-in.

The website is too word heavy; try asking a few friends to read a paragraph you have written, then summarize it back to you. Usually you'll get a more concise answer that could be used instead.

Like everybody else, I recommend you re-evaluate your pricing. The mailchimp example somebody mentioned is perfect. The paragraph you have between Indicative Pricing and Pricing is completely unnecessary.

The How It Works page also needs to be pared down. The goal should be to get small businesses to sign up, then have it be so simple to use that the operation acts as a guide. I would change Sign Up to be a link, then have Register Customers (signs up telling them to use mobile phones, register on the site, NO manual input from the business owner), Tailor Marketing Offers, Reap the Benefits. Or something similar, it just needs to be simplified, a lot!

Again, I love the concept and hope you have the drive to see it through!

I think this is a great product idea, but the marketing/sales on the website needs a lot of improvement--and patio11's suggestions are a great start. Especially need better Call-to-Action elements.

I think a simplified value proposition as a tagline is a must. For instance: Square: Accept Payments Anywhere, Basecamp: The Better Way to Get Project Done, Grasshopper: Sound Professional & Stay Connected--The Virtual Phone System Designed for Entrepreneurs.

--Loyalty Space: The simple loyalty program for increasing sales...or..Real Easy, Real Results...or...(Customer) Loyalty Programs Made Easy..or..The Easiest Way to Build Relationships and Drive Results..etc., etc. Something along those lines, brainstorm a bunch. If you are going to do any advertising A/B test your top 5 in the copy. Check out what other successful companies are doing.

If possible show, don't tell. An awesome video would be great where that carousel currently is. Include some shots of the product actually being used. See Square's videos for definition of awesome videos.

Then I'd put a carousel type section below(but still above the fold if possible), with sections for the businesses in your "Consumer Facing Businesses". I'd list the businesses vertically on the left with icons plus text. Each section loads content to the right with (fictional or real if you got them)examples of problems/needs being solved by your service. Ex: Salons-->Meet Jane, Jane needed a way to fill empty seats in her salon on slow days. She uses her customer database to see which regulars are due for a new cut, and then sends them a custom/personalized discount offer via text message if they come in this afternoon. In no time at all, Jane's seats are booked for the rest of the day with customers grateful for a great deal.Customer Testimonials are huge too. Get some as soon as you can. If you know someone loves your product you can even write it yourself, let them have the chance to edit, and sign off on it. No more than two sentence.

About section could use a lot of improvement. In fact I'd pry call it "Why Loyalty Programs" Include some stats from respected sources on benefits of loyalty programs. Cut out as much copy as you can, and try to condense it all above the fold.

Check out Grasshopper for a great "how it works" section.

Include a clear CTA on almost every page.

I think that for the lazy viewer of the page it's not clear what your business actually does.

You use a lot of buzzwords and goal orientations but one has to dig around a bit to see what the actual product is.