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What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

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191–200 of 203 posts

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#192
post #8

This has happened in my experience before, and it is one of the strongest reasons for good source control that is infrequently considered. It was a tragedy when a very wonderful and dear researcher in our group died suddenly, especially to his three children and wife that he left behind. It was also a great loss as well that we could never recover some key bits of source code from his computer, and that a very promis…

Just yesterday I was nearly run over by a taxi (in Seattle, what?) running a red light. As I realized he wasn't stopping I thought to myself, "at least all my code is checked in and pushed". True story.

Your comment is hitting me pretty hard. I don't want my last thoughts to be related to what I was doing at work.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#193
post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an American male who is white, my first reading of jigneshg's comment led me to a negative reaction, similar to those expressed above. So, for my part, race and gender had a great deal to do with my initial reaction, and I felt it important to bring that to light in my comment, because many of the reactions to jigneshg's comment insist that his language says something that, in the Indian context, it does not say.…

My point was that you reaction would not have substantively changed if you happened to be a white American female or a black American male. Even taking into account the fact that Africans Americans are more religious as a group than their white counterparts, I don't think religiousity (except in the most extreme examples) would affect one's initial distaste upon reading the phrase > Sometime it is very difficult for…

That's totally true. In fact, because I'm atheist, the theological tune of the comment is what really raised my hackles, initially. I can't speak tot he reaction that black Americans might or might not have, so like I said, I just referenced my own reaction and experience, which I believe should have been more accommodating. But like you suggest, reacting as a native English speaker is totally natural, because we're all just reading words in English. Other than a wonky turn of phrase, there's little that marks the comment as being given by a non-English speaker. For my part, I'm just bitching here in the comments, b/c I'm not entirely sure where I can send a message requesting that people's karma points be restored. For me, that feels frustrating, and so instead I lash out at a kind of privilege that is more ready to correct than understand. Ultimately though, I think yours was a good quetsion to aske.ll

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#194
It was interesting working in a "high death rate" environment, and seeing the ways different organizations dealt with that.

The military (US, especially) seems to rely on tradition. I still think the US Army "last roll call" is among the best.

There were contractor and local companies who did basically nothing, and where the big issue was getting personal effects packed up/returned, and risk that final paychecks (or, in some cases, 6+ months of pay held until completion) would be paid out. And some where the loss of enough people led to the company folding, too, so there wasn't even anyone to pay that money.

Probably not frequent enough to be meaningful for a silicon valley tech company with mainly 20-50 year old employees, but maybe in an industry with older people (or, in 10-20 years, in tech), there will be companies which differentiate themselves by how they handle this kind of thing.

There are some conferences where one of the first parts of the yearly meeting is listing all the former attendees who have died in that year; for the more ee-specific conferences where the average attendee is ~50-60, it's a much longer meeting.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#195
post #68
post #60

When we were doing the Apple Newton, Ko Isono (who was working on the tablet sensor code) committed suicide. Our manager got us into a common area, then told us the news. We were pretty shocked. Many of us went to the funeral in the east bay. I remember it was very cold and rainy, and that I didn't mind. We put Ko's name in the "About Newton" page. Nobody in management objected to that.

I wonder if we'd have fewer suicides if we publicly acknowledged the contributions of people before they died.

To me it seems lonelyness is the major issue when reading examples here. People in the US are so hopelessly lonely. I fight with my wife, but hey, then I have a brother, 2 cousins, parents and at least 30+ friends in town. As does my wife. This allows you to vent outside of work and sometimes home and is healing. In the US I get constantly depressed. Not at all in Poland. And I've been in the US long enough that this is just a lifestyle here. Work, work, work, no friends or fake friends. Family and real friends afar away. It's impossible not to get crazy. The quality of social life in the US is just very, very low. I'm wondering if all these social anxieties and emotional issues/mental issues are not caused by that.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A few months ago, I was on the losing end of a head-on motorcycle versus Jeep Cherokee crash and spent several days in the hospital. I had some pretty severe injuries but somehow managed to not smash my head in -- I don't wear a helmet and, although I had several broken bones, I somehow escaped with only had a few cuts and scrapes to my head. Several of the doctors and nurses said (words to the effect of) "someone up…

As a fellow atheist and motorcyclist, may I suggest that you start wearing a helmet? I mean, when there's no afterlife to look forward to, you should probably wear the appropriate safety gear.

As a former motorcyclist, don't squid!

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#197
When I was 20 and studying at university I worked during my summer break at a small company. We went on holiday for a couple of weeks over Christmas but just after Christmas Day I got a call from my manager telling me that one of the guys in my team was killed in a car accident and his wife badly injured.

I went to the funeral which was heartbreaking, the place was never really the same again without him. I still think about him every now and then, even though that was more than 10 years ago now.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#198
post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment ! OP isn't stupid. He has no problem comprehending the wrath of your imaginary friend, nor the imaginary nature of the aforementioned wrath. He lost a dear friend and mentor. The one who has trouble understanding reality is you.

Bashing someone for their religious beliefs. Really enlightened behaviour, right there.

I'm bashing someone for being an asshole. The fact that there's a religious touch in his assholeness is quite irrelevant to me.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#199

A good friend and co-worker died recently, worked together for 10 years. Hard worker, lived in Cali and flew out every quarter. We shared being assholes who get shit done by working hard, long, and speaking truth to power. He died by driving fast, impatiently, killing his wife and unborn child. We shared a love of fast cars and recklessness. His death has helped me re-evaluate. Selling (trying) my fast car, going par…

That sounds a good idea about re-evaluating your life. I was working at a place where many did unpaid overtime and you could see the strain it was having on them and their families. Company's typically do not thank you for extra work. Buy a VW Bug - "all show and no go" but you will enjoy tootling from A to B with a noisy engine in what is essentially a glorified basic go-kart.

I am tying to get rid of a heavily modified gti. My love for the Volkswagen is great. But I don't need another car presently.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#200

A good friend and co-worker died recently, worked together for 10 years. Hard worker, lived in Cali and flew out every quarter. We shared being assholes who get shit done by working hard, long, and speaking truth to power. He died by driving fast, impatiently, killing his wife and unborn child. We shared a love of fast cars and recklessness. His death has helped me re-evaluate. Selling (trying) my fast car, going par…

It always surprises me that people need such an event to rethink their life. I put my life and goals in question around every month, if not every week. Could you tell more about why you didn't do that before? Would be interesting for me to read.

No incident or action happens in a void. A lot of the plans were previously tooling around, but the realization I am putting my wife's life in such significant danger through aggressive driving was made very real by the death of my co-worker and his wife.

The amount of required introspection on a weekly basis to re-value or evaluate the various components into question is exhaustive. As an adult I am forced to make long term choices, like mortgages, marriages, the like.

I would not get far if I was mentally re-evaluating the status of my marriage every week. Or the investments I have considered 'long-term', but these things are all instrumental in making the kinds of radical changes that were/are required to move on from here.

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