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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#191

Post by bdangubic »

ghaff wrote: post #160
bdangubic wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you do not need a gym to work out so it is just a waste of money. I used to have membership at Bally’s when I was single but that was for meeting girls, not for working out. I don’t understand people paying money to go to gyms these days for the purposes of working out

Not that I've ever belonged to one but I understand people wanting access to various equipment or even a swimming pool. Personally, I prefer to walk/hike but I understand that isn't enough for everyone.

I am not “buying” this… if craigslist or facebook marketplace you can buy any equipment you desire dirt cheap (from new year’s resolutions done unfullfilled). pool has always been vacant or filled with senior citizen classes etc when I used to go and I doubt this has changed. I do not have any numbers to back this up but my gut feel tells me less than 10% of people that have gym memberships go to the gym more than once per week

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#193

Post by galleywest200 »

johnnyanmac wrote: post #174
p1esk wrote: post #94

I love to sit alone in a cafe - reading. Before smartphones I was reading newspapers or books. Now I read on my phone or tablet. While there, I don’t want to talk to anyone, I just want to sit and read quietly.

I can count the number of impromptu conversations I had at a cafe on one hand. That just doesn't seem to be a thing these days.

Honestly it feels kind of rude for people to just walk up and talk to you while you are obviously trying to focus on reading something.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#194

Post by cm2012 »

tzone wrote: post #110
cm2012 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

I think it depends on what counts as doing nothing. Every time I cut my hair, I sit in a chair for ~30minutes silently without doing anything. My barber knows I don't like small talk so he just cuts my hair and that's it, there is no conversation. I would say it is very enjoyable 30 minutes every time I do it. I don't think anyone would describe that kind of experience as hard to do?

I enjoy the sensations at the barber very much.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#195

Post by ghaff »

bdangubic wrote: post #191
ghaff wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not that I've ever belonged to one but I understand people wanting access to various equipment or even a swimming pool. Personally, I prefer to walk/hike but I understand that isn't enough for everyone.

I am not “buying” this… if craigslist or facebook marketplace you can buy any equipment you desire dirt cheap (from new year’s resolutions done unfullfilled). pool has always been vacant or filled with senior citizen classes etc when I used to go and I doubt this has changed. I do not have any numbers to back this up but my gut feel tells me less than 10% of people that have gym memberships go to the gym more than on…

A lot of people don't have room for larger exercise equipment in their houses--if they have a house. Heck, I just had some reconstruction/reconfiguration done after a fire and I'm figuring out where to now put my rowing machine and I have a decent-sized house.

That many/most people don't really utilize their gym memberships is a separate issue from some people getting value out of them. You seemed to be arguing that gym memberships in general are stupid for anyone.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#196

Post by cm2012 »

astura wrote: post #166
cm2012 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

>Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me. Those of us over 40 have already had plenty of this in our lives, it used to be such a common part of life! Waiting for appointments, waiting for the bus, etc. before smartphones. My first job had two hours between lunch and dinner service. I only had about 15 minutes of work during that time, so…

Pre-smart phone era I would bring a book on the bus or sleep.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#197

Post by cm2012 »

amanaplanacanal wrote: post #77
cm2012 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

When I was younger I used to visit a local zendo, and I think the meditation sessions were 40 minutes. It's definitely an experience. Very easy to fall asleep without external distractions. The idea was to just learn to concentrate on bodily sensations, skin, breathing, sound.

I have tried sensory deprivation tanks a few times and always fall asleep within 5 min, like clockwork.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#198

Post by 8organicbits »

sneak wrote: post #126
8organicbits wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a parent of young children I've found that I need my phone on any time my children are not with me. Calls from school or day care don't always come from the same number, so I answer every call when my kids are in the care of others (but none otherwise).

Why? What happens if you don’t have it, just as parents didn’t have them for centuries?

Child care now requires parents to be readily available, especially to pick up children who are sick. A century ago, child care providers were expected to care for sick children until the parent arrived. Failure to be responsive would be a violation of the child care agreement.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#200

Post by coolThingsFirst »

amelius wrote: post #185
coolThingsFirst wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it's a thing everywhere to be honest. People are their with their friends and you are the only one alone. Without phone it would be too cringe, even with phone its cringe. I behave as if though I'm texting someone. It's the societal weight of being the one who is alone.

Do you feel like being a weirdo when you are alone in public transit? Maybe you should treat cafes the same?

Transit is different, you are going from one place to another. Cafes are where people that know each other come to socialize. You will almost never see a lone person in a cafe in the country where I live in, and a lively conversation tends to pull other people in as well.

It's just different so their initial thought of it being awkward without further reflection is based on reality not some blown up fear.

I also say this as someone that has no trouble striking up conversations with strangers. So not like I barely go out.

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