191–200 of 651 posts
[1] I would write "the author", but sadly these days you can't take the existence of an author for granted
I think beyond a certain level surplus IQ begins to cause problems. While still useful, the amount of self-sabotage and thought spirals the brain can generate with the extra power can cause neuroses and unhappiness on a larger scale than those less intelligent are capable of. Combine it with higher societal expectations and it's no great mystery to me why smarter people seem unhappier. Just my thoughts anyways. I'm a…
This overflow might contribute to less happiness as a result.
Same thing, not a psychologist, just some thoughts.
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It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful
> It’s really not fixed; you can easily train your mind to be less neurotic and more joyful How?
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It really is wild the degree to which you can simply dictate your own mood. If I catch myself feeling grumpy or down, it is pretty easy to reframe and summon genuine happiness. Even during intense suffering of various kinds. To a large extent you get to decide which universe you live in.
This is a bit surprising to hear. So what should I have done when my parents died?
That said, what do you want to optimize for? Time spent grieving? Money spent on the funeral(s)? Money spent on therapy? Time spent in therapy? Lack of having to change as a person? Having to change as a person? Grieving "correctly"? (to reiterate from above there is no right way, but some people think if they're not doing it "right" there's something wrong with them.)
Just not killing yourself from the pain of it all in the next 5 years?
Honoring their lifes properly? Doing a good job of stepping into your new role in your family? Getting revenge for some transgression you can no longer tell them they did to you?
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In the Bay Area, I feel surrounded by such people. They solve imaginary problems to get a promotion. But they are competing with thousands of other, equally smart people, to also get promotions. So it's non-stop change for no reason, and wasting resources.
Sportsmen compete in imaginary competitions with equally physially gifted people just to win a prize. And yet, many are fulfilled by it. For some people, competing is what drives them.
At least in my sampling, I'd suggest the most extremely driven people often have some major sense of lack they're chasing.
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As I heard someone say, happiness is your reality minus your expectations. Smart people see more variables that could be changed, more components that could be modified, and are less likely to accept things as they are. This creates a false sense of ease by which reality could be modified, and thus higher expectations for the world around them. I suspect this misplaces happiness and contentment, but the two are also…
Happiness is just chemicals, it has nothing to do with that.
If you're smart, you're taught you should expect more. You're also able to think critically and question.
For me contentment came a lot later; maybe the years have affected my brain plasticity and made me happier (dumber).