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30 minutes with a stranger

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Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#191

Post by koliber »

isoprophlex wrote: post #110
koliber wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with 99.9% of what you wrote. It’s presented very clearly. We are social animals even if we don’t like to admit it. A while ago I would say I agree 100%, but more recently I learned that ads have value. Therefore i can’t agree with the final sentence in this post. It’s not easy to recognize but I’d like to try to share how I see it now. Any time you think or say one of these things, it means that someone did…

Advertising is already rich people begging for your money. Not free exchange of information to allow value discovery. Don't conflate the two.

What about the ad for your kids' school fundraiser?

Or the ad for a used car that your cousin would love.

Or the poster for the concert at your local community hall.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#192

Post by ThePowerOfFuet »

NiloCK wrote: post #160
palata wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would be nice if we could disable JavaScript and just get access to the text. I also dislike this style, plus it lags on my computer. I scrolled all the way down but all I got was that it is a story of how it's not so bad to talk to strangers.

I don't know if I'm missing the mark here, but: you can in fact disable JavaScript in your browser. In Firefox, go to `about:config` and set `javascript.enabled` to false. Warning: lots of sites will break.

This site is nonfunctional without JS.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#193

Post by ThePowerOfFuet »

RataNova wrote: post #130
pavlov wrote: post #18

Really great design. This is the unicorn of fancy websites because for once, it actually makes sense to override browser's standard scrolling behavior. The 30-minute timeline on the right provides an obvious context for what you're navigating with the scroll actions, and you wouldn't be able to do that with a regular scrollbar. Usually scrolling overrides happen because the designers' mindset was that the site should…

But here the timeline gives the scroll a clear purpose

That's exactly what they said, right at the beginning of their comment.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#194

Post by subscribed »

sentinelsignal wrote: post #183
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's definitely an aspect of "dehumanization," when it comes to remote communication (not just the Internet, but I think store-and-forward leaches the most humanity, compared to realtime). It's the having time to consider responses, that I think actually makes it more difficult to accept the person on the other end as "human," more than the physical separation. You can see this in formal debates, where the emotion…

The dehumanisation of online dialogue is interesting. Is it because of 'anonymity' or is there more at play?

No, I don't think it's anonymity. You can see absolutely rabid, hateful, unhinged things people post under their real names on Facebook, LinkedIn, nextdoor.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#195

Post by dpkirchner »

RataNova wrote: post #133
gwd wrote: post #34

One of the problems with their "better / worse" statistics: Bad interactions tend to outweigh good interactions. I think the rule of thumb is that 4:1 good/bad ratio in a relationship is "breakeven" where the relationship will stay neutral; higher than that and things get better, lower than that and things go south. So if you could talk to a stranger, and there's only a 20% chance you'll feel worse, a lot of people w…

Makes me think the real challenge isn't just encouraging people to talk to strangers, but designing situations where the expected value of those conversations skews heavily positive

I do most of my stranger-talking at niche events like board games down at the maker space or at cons. This definitely skews the results.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#196

Post by koliber »

wzdd wrote: post #121
koliber wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with 99.9% of what you wrote. It’s presented very clearly. We are social animals even if we don’t like to admit it. A while ago I would say I agree 100%, but more recently I learned that ads have value. Therefore i can’t agree with the final sentence in this post. It’s not easy to recognize but I’d like to try to share how I see it now. Any time you think or say one of these things, it means that someone did…

Except that you also learnt about 10 concerts you didn't want to go to, 10 sales you don't care about, etc. And it's not even (necessarily) 10 good concerts or sales, it's just the ones that someone managed to thrust in front of your face. Filtering the barrage of information is mental effort and distracts you from other tasks. I'd certainly like to know when my favourite bands are playing or get an alert when someth…

I consistently see marketing and advertising where I learn about events, products, or services I did not know about before. While researching potential products, I read through marketing websites (a form of ad) of different offers. I buy things on Amazon, which requires me to read through product descriptions, which are also ads for what the seller is selling.

Agreed that there is too much machine-gun advertising and you see more than you need. However, I learned to appreciate good advertising while at the same time not letting the irrelevant ads ruin my day.

source: personal experience and sample size of 1. At the same time, I am not some weirdo and other people see the same ads and marketing materials, and it's not unreasonable to think that they also derive some value from them.

> I'd certainly like to know when my favourite bands are playing or get an alert when something I'm after is on sale

If you ever had this happen, that's another case to cite for non-intrusive and useful advertising.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#197

Post by pjc50 »

sentinelsignal wrote: post #183
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's definitely an aspect of "dehumanization," when it comes to remote communication (not just the Internet, but I think store-and-forward leaches the most humanity, compared to realtime). It's the having time to consider responses, that I think actually makes it more difficult to accept the person on the other end as "human," more than the physical separation. You can see this in formal debates, where the emotion…

The dehumanisation of online dialogue is interesting. Is it because of 'anonymity' or is there more at play?

I think it's an exaggeration of the "city effect": the denser an environment is, the more likely it is that people who see you out to talk to you are going to have a negative agenda, because everyone else is trying to keep their head down.

If you meet a stranger at the North Pole, where you're the only two humans around, you're going to talk to them. If you meet a stranger in a remote village, you're probably going to talk to them. If you meet a stranger on the street in New York, you're probably going to put your hand over your wallet. Adverse selection wins.

It sometimes feels like social media has gone from a place to make friends to a place to make enemies - or at least to bond with a group through the medium of hate. Bonding through hate of the outsider is hardly new, but it's especially negative on the Internet where it can be amplified over and over.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#198

Post by add-sub-mul-div »

koliber wrote: post #73
999900000999 wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Had a chat about this with a friend yesterday. In richer societies you can afford to be alone. This isn't good for tribal beings, humans didn't evolve as lone wolves. Even something as cooking for more than one person involves so much interaction. At the lower end of the global income scale , you can't afford to be alone in your giant house. You might need to share communal goods. Not everyone, but just having a role…

I agree with 99.9% of what you wrote. It’s presented very clearly. We are social animals even if we don’t like to admit it. A while ago I would say I agree 100%, but more recently I learned that ads have value. Therefore i can’t agree with the final sentence in this post. It’s not easy to recognize but I’d like to try to share how I see it now. Any time you think or say one of these things, it means that someone did…

> I would have gone to that concert but did not know about it

The best concert I ever saw was one that I only knew was coming to town because of a TV commercial.

Ads are information. As long as you understand the source of the information is biased and treat it accordingly, information is useful.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#199

Post by jibal »

astura wrote: post #129
karmakurtisaani wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I actually met a serial killer who did this, heh Would love to hear the story behind this one.

A stranger was trying to impress GP by pretending to be a serial killer and the GP is naive enough to believe them.

No ... read above why they have good reason to believe, after the fact, that he was a serial killer.

Re: 30 minutes with a stranger

#200

Post by cindyllm »

BobbyTables2 wrote: post #175
stavros wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can't afford to be alone in any society. Not in the monetary sense, but in the sense that it will make you depressed. The fact that many people don't realize this is troubling.

While very true, highly communal societies can be extremely toxic too. Imagine not being able to get a job and having everyone actually gossiping about you. Pretty much middle school fears realized.

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