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Let Kids Be Loud

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Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#191

Post by stirfish »

southernplaces7 wrote: post #190
stirfish wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've found that I wanted to smoke long after I stopped enjoying smoking.

Dealing with the worst (or is it maybe best?) of both worlds still. I both want to smoke and enjoy it too damn much, even though a little background alarm in my inner brain blares for much of the day reminding me that this is a potential death sentence I just keep playing with so much..

What do you like about smoking? My favorite part was getting to stand outside alone for 5 fucking minutes.

Check out Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, if you're interested. It helped me think a lot more about what I was doing and feeling, and turned out to be useful in a bunch of other areas in my life. I found the audiobook ripped from cassettes as a torrent.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#192

Post by LiKao »

schwartzworld wrote: post #184
tstrimple wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You think you’re just going to explain to a four year old the rules about ice cream and they’ll just be like “you’re right daddy. I forgot we had ice cream from the truck yesterday. I’ll grab some carrot sticks instead”? If provided with consistency, yes that's exactly what happens. I've raised three kids who have not had repeated meltdowns over hearing an ice cream truck.

> I've raised three kids who have not had repeated meltdowns Mazel tov. Unfortunately for parents who aren't you, the act of providing the "consistency" you're advocating for, often DOES require dealing with repeated meltdowns, or even just maddeningly repetitive questions of "why not". Children are born wild animals (not yours, of course), and raising them is the act of civilizing them. If there's one thing that ann…

These "maddeningly repetitive questions" are exactly the internal issues that are being talked about. If they ask "why not" just let them ask.

It's not your job as a parent to 1) make sure your children are happy all the time 2) defend your decisions against all attacks.

I found that when children say "why not" repeatedly, they are actually saying "I am unhappy and want to find an argument to reconsider your stance". If you signal them that this is actually something to argue about, e.g. by repeatedly answering these questions, they will just play the game you are offering them.

I found that it's actually a good approach to only directly answer "why not" the first time, and to just answer it the second time by "I understand that you are unhappy about my decision. I have already explained it and will not explain it again. If you need help dealing with your unhappiness I will be there for you."

A lot of the maddening part of these questions is most often the parent not being able to deal with the unhappiness of the child. Once you accept that unhappiness is a natural part of life 1) this will be easier for you 2) you will model much better for your child how to deal with unhappiness.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#193

Post by gilfoy »

anon1251212451 wrote: post #143
gilfoy wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It absolutely is. Gettin an ice cream truck banned from your neighborhood because you heard it drive by is the epitome of Karen behavior.

No, doing so is the equivalent of using Adblocker.

Isolating yourself from the sound via one of various available methods would be analogous to using Adblock.

Re: Let Kids Be Loud

#195

Post by mensetmanusman »

valiant55 wrote: post #122
ysavir wrote: post #2

I live next door to a summer camp. The kind that has kids from the nearby city come for 2 weeks, sleep in bunks, play outside all day, hike, etc. A few months ago we had a carpenter doing some work on the house, and he was asking me about the camp and living so near to it. Eventually he asked "Are they loud when they play? That must be so annoying. I'd hate that." I replied "Nah, it's healthy and fun, and it doesn't…

Yeah, I hate lawnmowers. I live next to a church/religious school and an apartment building both with a large yard. I don't mind the daily church bells at 6/12/7 but the constant lawn mowing is the worst.

Donate a tax deductible electric lawn mowing system that quietly cuts 24/7.
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