Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

My Time Working at Stripe

jondlm.github.io

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

191–200 of 396 posts

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#191

Post by spencerflem »

tharkun__ wrote: post #182
spencerflem wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm on the introvert side too fwiw, I just feel like inventing a dead cat is a pretty out there response for the situation, which was a gentle push to be a little more open than usual for those that feel comfortable. Definitely can be taken too far in either direction. Without any place for chit chat being set up for it though, at least in my company, the 'natural' amount of sharing is basically zero, which feels lik…

It's not a gentle push though. It's setting up a group pressure situation that is definitely gonna make introverts feel uncomfortable (by a probably extroverted person that may genuinely not understand what they're even doing in that regard as it'd feel natural for them). Now I understand that with remote work there may not be enough space for chit chat. But there are other ways than a forced group pressure situation…

I thought feeling compelled to make up a story like a dead cat would be over the top, I'm so sorry that actually happened.

I don't quite get the difference between a blocked off time for chit chat and the way the manager asked for it here but totally, being forced like you have to say something you don't want to sucks.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#192

Post by ryandrake »

fnordpiglet wrote: post #30

These symptoms are a classic sign of burn out. One thing I notice in your writing is you’re very tied up in things having meaning and mattering in some specific way. This itself can lead to burnout because if everything must matter you must be emotionally invested in everything. But you can care without it mattering to you. You can do a good job without being totally invested in everything about it. You can love what…

The way I conquered burnout was by having a life outside of work that isn't computer related. In my early twenties, the only notable attribute of my life was work and computers. I'd wake up in the morning, go to work programming things, then get home and either do programming side projects or play computer games, then I'd go to sleep and repeat it the next day. I had no hobbies, no friends or acquaintances outside of the people I met at work, and nothing to drive me besides the artificial goals at work. Recipe for burnout and it constantly happened.

Eventually, I got married, had a family, found things to do in the community, and do plenty of sports and hobbies that involve shutting off the computer. Even though my jobs after my 20s have been even more soul-crushing than the ones I had earlier, I've never had a hint of burnout. When I'm done with work, I shut off the computer and that's it. I'll go build a piece of furniture, or repair my car, spend time with my kid, anything that doesn't involve office politics, two week sprints, or status reports. Just having a life outside of work has done wonders for my mental health. No meditation or spirituality needed!

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#193

Post by vladvasiliu »

globnomulous wrote: post #183
vladvasiliu wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. And I think this is both a case of managing expectations (if you're always available, people will learn to expect it) and also of realizing what is and isn't expected of you. Where I work, a normal workday is 9 AM to 6 PM with an hour lunch. There's some flexibility as to the actual hours, I usually do 8-5, others do 10-7. Yet, some people always put in very long hours for some reason, complete with gulping d…

> some people always put in very long hours for some reason, complete with gulping down a sandwich in front of their computer for lunch. I'm not sure what gives them the impression they have to do it, since it's clearly not expected from our common higher-ups. This is just how I like to work and approach problem solving. I can take breaks when I make the effort, but, when work starts, I rarely think about anything ex…

I don't think you're talking about the same thing as GP. I've had spells like you describe, and I did enjoy them. And I don't know about you, but I never felt like this was expected of me by the company, so there was no pressure involved. I think that this actually being my choice made all the difference.

This seems quite distinct from what is discussed in this thread, which is people feeling some kind of pressure to work long hours, or to be available after work hours when they're supposed to be doing personal stuff. And, usually, the reasons for being called up don't seem to be some genuinely exciting problem that it feels invigorating to tackle. Instead, it's typically some form of TPS report that needs pushing around.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#195

Post by Mindjolt »

fnordpiglet wrote: post #30

These symptoms are a classic sign of burn out. One thing I notice in your writing is you’re very tied up in things having meaning and mattering in some specific way. This itself can lead to burnout because if everything must matter you must be emotionally invested in everything. But you can care without it mattering to you. You can do a good job without being totally invested in everything about it. You can love what…

Commenting because I want to revisit this at a future point of time

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#196

Post by 946789987649 »

DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

I had a manager do something like this but in a slightly better way. Each week we took it in turns doing our "life story". Some did it funny, some did it really personal and serious, some more of a CV, and some a mix of them all. You could really decide how you wanted to do it, and people got to know you a bit better.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#197

Post by angarg12 »

This is what happens when you make your work most of your identity.

At the end of the day work won't love you back. Managers will come and go. Projects will start and end. Colleagues will join and leave.

For most of us work is an important part of our lives, after all we spend a big chunk of our life there. But try to find meaning outside work.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#198

Post by thdhhghgbhy »

Nashooo wrote: post #127
cpursley wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s pretty nuts, putting out your dirty laundry in public is a surefire way to self sabotage - especially in a work setting. In American culture, there’s a lot of “positive self help” talk about being open about these things. But the reality is - it actually just provides drama and ammunition to people who might not have your best interests at heart. Some things are best kept between your close trusted friends and f…

In what way is this ever providing someone with 'ammunition' and how is this self-sabotage? What are you afraid someone would do with this kind of information? Reading this comment and others feels like people have read a bit too much Sun Tzu and are treating what could be collegiality as warfare.

You haven't been in corporate long enough bub.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#199

Post by thdhhghgbhy »

DeathArrow wrote: post #31

>he asked the team, “for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting.” I remember feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement rise in my chest. I sat pondering what I would share. I decided to go for more than 10%. I shared about how my marriage had almost collapsed a couple year…

I'd go further, the situation as described was gross. A kind of peer pressure invasion of privacy for all employees involved.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#200

Post by FpUser »

>"She shared with me some concerns about my communication and project management. She, and apparently others she gathered feedback from, felt like I hadn’t done a good enough job pulling other engineers into the project."

You are software developer, not a manager. It is her job to worry about things like that.

>"for this meeting I’d like us to try and introduce ourselves a little differently. If you’re comfortable, I’d like us to try and be 10% more vulnerable than we normally would in a work setting"

What a fucking moron. Most likely he was fishing for weak spots to be exploited. I do not get how one can fall for this type of crap.

Anyways this whole thing reminds me why I've never wanted to work for big companies and eventually went on my own. I do not need somebody else to organize my life. I do job, client pays money and this is where it ends.

Post reply on HN