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The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
191–200 of 325 posts
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
We decry "demands" when we should acknowledge "dependencies;" kids won't properly compile without their needs met.
We have brainwashed our western minds to make women leave their kids in daycare sometimes weeks after being born. Then we are brainwashed to let kids sleep in a separate room so that mommy can get a good night's rest and be productive at work. We need a minimum of 3 years of maternity leave in our country to being with. It is insane as one of the best countries in the world we don't let people have kids naturally.
Truly a modern heresy. I'd add the culture of parenting "technique" micro-analysis as another toxic drain on the potential of childrearing. Way too much thought given to dubious "science" of parenting decisions that cause parents too focus too heavily on things that ultimately don't matter.
Related modern heresies: https://www.secretorum.life/p/20-modern-heresies?s=w
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Yeah maybe that’s why women live longer in order to help with the exhausting process of raising their grandchildren. Except that men become more important, especially for boys, but also as exemplars for girls, the older children get. Nurturing is more important earlier on, which is also the specialty of women. Men are generally terrible at it and generally hate it, while women tend to have a much greater affinity.…
> hence the self-centeredness of thinking one is entitled to having children, resorting to all sorts of immoral technologies to have them Huh? I'm confused how you reconcile this (seeming) attack on fertility treatment with the pro-natalist sentiment expressed later in your comment. Who or what principle is transgressed by what technologies?
In-vitro fertilization involves treatment of embryos that is regarded as illicit by some groups that are staunchly pro-natalist. The Roman Catholic Church is the biggest example, e.g. [0], but similar positions are held also by some other Christian denominations.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah maybe that’s why women live longer in order to help with the exhausting process of raising their grandchildren [1]. We love to take care of babies, regardless of (or maybe because of) how clingy and dependent they are. From an Evolutionary point of view, This relationship between needy babies and abnegated caregivers might have given rise to a complementary schimogenesis according to Gregory Bateson, in which ba…
> Yeah maybe that’s why women live longer in order to help with the exhausting process of raising their grandchildren. Except that men become more important, especially for boys, but also as exemplars for girls, the older children get. Nurturing is more important earlier on, which is also the specialty of women. Men are generally terrible at it and generally hate it, while women tend to have a much greater affinity.…
Octopus are undeniably intelligent and are not known for being parents, primarily because the mother soon dies after the clutch hatches.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#195> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…
> 'That's not a high bar. What grade did you get the last time you scored 50% on a test?'
An A: it was graded on a curve.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#196The book Hunt, Gather, Parent touches on this a bit. It takes 3-4 humans, not necessarily adults but cousins and whatnot, to take care of a child. Two? 6-8. Since western societies broke up tight knit communities, the support system for this in the west has been lacking and jerry rigged with tired parents and nannies etc ever since. The reason for the breakup is fun - https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2019/11/ro…
Interesting hypothesis, but I don’t know if I buy it. Much of India had also long barred cousin marriages, probably long before the Roman Catholic Church, but the dependencies and village raising the kids dynamic still existed (until recently). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sapinda If I were to guess, the main causal factor is economic/security independence. If living in a tight knit village, sacrificing your freedom…
That linked article also appears incorrect about the Eastern Orthodox Church as well. The churches in the east inherited the Roman ban on marrying cousins.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#197Earlier quoted context omitted.
Interesting hypothesis, but I don’t know if I buy it. Much of India had also long barred cousin marriages, probably long before the Roman Catholic Church, but the dependencies and village raising the kids dynamic still existed (until recently). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sapinda If I were to guess, the main causal factor is economic/security independence. If living in a tight knit village, sacrificing your freedom…
If living in a tight knit village, sacrificing your freedoms is the best option you have, then that is what most people choose. If there exists an option for you retain your freedom and have financial independence and physical security, then people tend to choose that you make it sound like these are opposing incompatible choices. why not choose both? i'd love to live in a small tight knit community. going to school…
> why not choose both?
I just don't see that realisticly possible. People move a cross the city for a new job, that enough to break the family visit. Remote work is nowhere near guaranteed.
>people didn't move because they wanted to gain independence.
They do, when they don't fit into the community they grew up with.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’ve been down this alley. No-one will understand you. Now I just moved back to being a normal person seemingly integrated and all in favour of feminism and all this shit, and I just laugh internally every time a woman tells me “I have been raped.” In my city, they add “But don’t tell anyone, it will make people racist.” Every. Single. Time. Ahh, it’s already bad enough that I know several of them. Not very healthy,…
Well, I know people try very hard to not understand. So, they don't have to feel concerned and actually do stuff to fix it. That's how people are generally, let's just ignore everything until the house is on fire... But that doesn't make it much less frustrating. And to be honest there are more and more people understanding my view in between words telling me their stories and ultimately agreeing. I have to say that…
Is single motherhood still the bogeyman as during the era of 90s entitlement reform? In these times when the younger generations are having less and less sex, much less getting pregnant? You might as well be complaining about Cadillac driving welfare queens.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#199Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I cannot understand how come there are so many parents bearing children worldwide. Because the best thing you can do for the world is to raise children well. If they raise theirs, etc. its a cycle of good over thousands of years, that will have more positive impact than anything you could do in your life as an individual.
> Because the best thing you can do for the world Is to not have any children so the population gets back down to sustainable levels
massive population collapse will be disastrous for modern societies.
Who will do the work required to care for the elderly population?
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
We decry "demands" when we should acknowledge "dependencies;" kids won't properly compile without their needs met.
We have brainwashed our western minds to make women leave their kids in daycare sometimes weeks after being born. Then we are brainwashed to let kids sleep in a separate room so that mommy can get a good night's rest and be productive at work. We need a minimum of 3 years of maternity leave in our country to being with. It is insane as one of the best countries in the world we don't let people have kids naturally.
completely agree. 3 years would be enough time for parents to string maternity leave across multiple children. Assuming a normal person works from 22 to 67, taking 6-9 years off to raise children is only 20% of that time at most.
Culturally we need to make it much easier for women to leave and re-enter the workforce and to also work part time.