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Chris Seaton has died

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Re: Chris Seaton has died

#191

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

colossal wrote: post #141
sasattack wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not a choice. It's not seen as a choice. The Choice is not between life-and-death but between suffering and ending your suffering. This is how the suicidal mind thinks. When suffering becomes greater than any other emotion it It's like a pressure that has to be relieved

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high…

The problem with this analogy is that it, in life, any problem representing fire is going to change. Aside from terminal illness. Wallace didn’t have the perspective to see that.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#192

Post by tuyiown »

theGnuMe wrote: post #56
tuyiown wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suicide is very personal, should be treated as an extremely complex issue that its uniqueness for each cannot be expressed in details correct enough to respect the regretted. I know you just want to know if any major points could stand out to bring some understanding, and they are probably some, but it's important to treat it as a might be relavant, but always small, piece of a the vastness of one's mind can be.

>Suicide is very personal, should be treated as an extremely complex issue that its uniqueness for each cannot be expressed in details correct enough to respect the regretted. Can you elaborate on what you mean here? Are you saying that every suicide is unique and out of respect for the dead we should not try to understand it?

It's mostly about the relationship about the understanding than the understanding itself. You can try to understand, but not believe you understand, the deceased will never be there to correct you if you're wrong.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#193

Post by tuyiown »

freedomben wrote: post #76
tuyiown wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suicide is very personal, should be treated as an extremely complex issue that its uniqueness for each cannot be expressed in details correct enough to respect the regretted. I know you just want to know if any major points could stand out to bring some understanding, and they are probably some, but it's important to treat it as a might be relavant, but always small, piece of a the vastness of one's mind can be.

I would have agreed fully with you for most of my life, but having now lost half a dozen friends to suicide, I think we're making a big mistake by not talking about it honestly and openly. Not only is it much harder for the friends/loved ones who are left in the dark about what happened, but it misses opportunities for learning and understanding. Most people who have never been ready to kill themselves have no idea w…

> I do insist on being classy and respectful, particularly for the family members, but I wish as a society we would talk openly and honestly about these issues instead of high opacity implications.

Yes, I did not want to mean that the right way was silent mourning. I merely wanted to express that full understanding is not achievable, and that the truth is lost with the life, and lost forever. To me, everything said with this idea kept in mind is respectful, and from there talking works.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#194

Post by graderjs »

graderjs wrote: post #28

Seeing some of the comments here how people valued him, it seems like maybe sometimes these sentiments of gratitude are not expressed until after someone passes. It works if folks cherish the time they have, and remind people of how they appreciate them while they're still on Earth in their body.

Seeing some of the comments in reply here from folks who find it hard to give or take gratitude, it seems a lot of people see what is being talked about as praise. But appreciation is distinct. Praise is: you are good or your skills is good. Appreciation/gratitude is: you really made a difference to me.

You can never go wrong just honestly and vulnerably saying, "I appreciate you because...", and telling someone how what they did really help you out, or let them know you appreciate them because they made a difference to you, you're just sharing how you feel sincerely. Whatever happens, you said what you could at the time.

As for accepting expressions of gratitude, people may have ulterior motives that you may correctly suspect, in which case...be happy, a frenemy has revealed themselves to you, and the fact that they see you as important enough to their interests to try to manipulate is its own form of compliment...or they may simply be imperfectly trying to express how much of a difference you made to them, like everybody else... Either way you can choose the meaning you take from it and find something to feel happy about or use.

It reflects poorly on your if you always suspect other people saying nice things to you, for one you have such a low opinion of others, and of your own impact, but also you miss many chances to find something good. For examples: someone may have been trying to connect with you, because they appreciate you, but by suspecting them, you pushed them away, and hurt them. May as well at least try to see the good and give a chance to it: you may be helping someone more than you know by doing so.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#195

Post by [deleted] »

nkurz wrote: post #159

Apologies if this is the wrong time to ask, but there probably won't ever be a better one. I didn't know him, but often read his comments here. I frequently found them to be... frustrating. He seemed to have a particularly literalist bent, and would often seem to focus on small seemingly irrelevant inconsistencies rather the bigger argument. He usually wasn't wrong, but it made me wonder whether he was autistic, or o…

[deleted]

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#196

Post by aliswe »

ngd wrote: post #82

When I was 15 I had to move high school after the death of my mother. I started to socialise at school and joined the investment club. It was a tough time for me and I desperately wanted to make friends and fit in. I wasn’t really into investing but a young man by the name of Chris Seaton was building their website and I loved computers so I wanted to help. Chris taught me how to program, first HTML websites, then PH…

I just *memcopied him to be honest

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#197

Post by tasuki »

Mikeb85 wrote: post #116
tasuki wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Not optimism, hope. What is the difference?

Optimism is trying to convince yourself things are better than they are, hope is the idea that things can actually get better.

Thanks. By that definition, optimism is just a bad thing.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#198

Post by jacquesm »

jvm___ wrote: post #181
themaninthedark wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One of the things I often hear said about people who attempt suicide but fail by jumping is that they have a moment of clarity on the way down that their problems are not a big deal and are solvable except the current one of imminent death. Not sure if this is true in all cases and what the outcome for these people is after time passes, do they still feel depressed or are things better for them. But, if that is the g…

Bojack horseman has a poignant poem entitled The View from halfway down. The View from Halfway Down The weak breeze whispers nothing The water screams sublime His feet shift, teeter-totter Deep breath, stand back, it’s time Toes untouch the overpass Soon he’s water bound Eyes locked shut but peek to see The view from halfway down A little wind, a summer sun A river rich and regal A flood of fond endorphins Brings a c…

Gooseflesh.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#199

Post by pertymcpert »

rented_mule wrote: post #110
schneems wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find some of the best advice for adults is found in advice for handling small children (I've got two kids). The new research/trend is to try to praise behavior rather than outcomes (or in addition). The other bit is to focus on their actions instead of it's impact on you. For example "I'm proud that you won that baseball game" places the focus on me and on the outcome of winning. Versus "I saw you really focused ou…

Agreed. For many, myself included, receiving praise for an outcome gets internalized as setting that outcome as the minimum bar. It applies more pressure. For some, they hear that the outcome is valuable and punish themselves psychologically for not achieving it sooner. For some, it's even more complicated than that. A few years ago, I was managing the most impactful engineer I've ever been around (and I've seen a lo…

My god she sounds like a force of nature. I'd feel so small next to her.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#200

Post by munificent »

moloch-hai wrote: post #178
philosopher1234 wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lol? this is a widely understood perspective.

There is literally nothing aggressive about depression.

Then why are people suffering depression packed full of stress response hormones?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

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