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Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

washingtonpost.com

191–200 of 396 posts

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone This sounds deep and wise in the abstract, but I think it's important that we're talking about is, like, because there are washing machines now, you can show up places looking presentable without there being a woman in your home dedicated to washing your clothes all the time.

Is there a problem with a woman dedicated to washing your laundry at home? Seems like women today have to go to work and do that in the evening anyways.

Yes, there is a problem with domestic labor being so demanding as to demand an entire human being's full time attention. That's why modernity is amazing.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#192

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

> Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone.

Isn’t it more nuanced? In order for someone to not need a wife for laundry service, we rely on the manufacturer. We rely on electricity.

It seems like we become more tightly dependent (single directional graph) on more people in order to feel superficially less intertwined.

I think people need other people more than ever. We just might not need them to be our masters or servants.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ironic given it’s from 1995. I assume the WaPo article imagines that was a golden age

Well Putnam's book suggested that it was a longstanding trend that just kept getting worse, so each decade would be a golden age compared to what came later.

I’ve been reading Jacques Ellul’s The Technological Society lately (1960s), and it was absolutely an issue back then, according to him.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#194
Maybe familiarity has bred contempt? We have more insights - accurate or not - into each other. The internet has placed us all closer together and more visible to one another where previously we could stay in our social bubbles and communities. Part of why it was easier to get along with people even less than a decade ago was there was a social distance, where that we were different made us more open to one another, and now that we are all in the same single power struggle, our circles have reduced their radii. The whole ideological thing has made us repulsive to one another by saying we are in a zero sum power struggle for equality, somehow against one another. Our differences are no longer complementary, they are intersectional and oppositional, and from what I can tell, almost irreconcilable. If you want to reverse this trend, just ask yourself if you have judged someone, and then look at what reversing that will take.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#195

Governments should subsidize in-person interactions -- especially for adults. Darts, trivia, volleyball, book club, escape rooms, group therapy. These kind of things would help bring more people together and could help reverse trends of isolated experiences like doomscrolling, social media envy, etc.

why would they? What short time votes would they get from this? Is it more than whatever is raging in the cultural war?

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#196
post #11

A few thoughts: 1. The internet means we have many forms of entertainment available without needing to go anywhere. 2. Many of those are social activities, even though we are physically alone. This is completely different from being totally isolated (as implied by the article). 3. The declining economic situation affects the ability of people to pursue leisure activities that would involve actually going somewhere th…

I find this very hard to believe. Real interactions are so rich, how could these goggles even hope to get there in a few years? What is having dinner together if you didn’t even eat the same? And this is the most banal example I could think of. I’d sooner become an actual hermit than to share a soggy McD burger over VR.

I imagine this would be great for disabled/chronically ill people who otherwise don't have the time/energy to reliably do this kind of stuff irl

(Or people that are otherwise unable to find people they relate with irl, for whatever reason)

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#197
post #11

A few thoughts: 1. The internet means we have many forms of entertainment available without needing to go anywhere. 2. Many of those are social activities, even though we are physically alone. This is completely different from being totally isolated (as implied by the article). 3. The declining economic situation affects the ability of people to pursue leisure activities that would involve actually going somewhere th…

That is a pretty nightmarish scenario you're predicting, there, was that sarcasm?

Is currently life not nightmarish for meaningful amounts of people?

Admittedly this doesn't solve a lot of fundamental problems, but we might not be able to/not want to, and at least it will help some people?

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How it's expensive, how it will ruin your career, how it will destroy your body, etc. Talk to gen-Z women, many of them are inundated with this kind of thinking.

It is expensive and it is true that building most careers becomes more difficult if you take extended time off. And some women do experience extreme changes to their body. That "kind of thinking" sounds entirely fact-based, not "negative".

Seems a bit one-sided, no?

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#199

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

> Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Isn’t it more nuanced? In order for someone to not need a wife for laundry service, we rely on the manufacturer. We rely on electricity. It seems like we become more tightly dependent (single directional graph) on more people in order to feel superficially less intertwined. I think people need other people more tha…

> we rely on the manufacturer. We rely on electricity.

We rely on having money. And we rely on a mature economy where someone is willing to solve every problem in exchange for that money.

In an individualistic society, each person is expected to earn their own way and then pay to solve every problem they may have.

In more community-oriented societies, personal earnings are less important than a strong network of friends and family who can fulfill every need. Each person's income/wealth is contributing to the collective for whatever cannot be served internally.

This movement toward individualization correlates very strongly with the capitalism.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#200

.. advocate of the solitary human here. we do not need to change anything. period.

also advocate of the solitary human, we need to make life not so ridiculously expensive and have meaningful social safety nets that aren't just really good friends/family

walking on a tightrope without a net, or a very weak net, is awful

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