Disagreements between rational people stem from the differences in assumptions.
Try and look at things from other person's perspective to understand their motivation.
Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
191–200 of 567 posts
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#192My mother told me to not care what other people thought. She also told me that words can't really hurt people ("sticks and stones..."). She also believed its "mean" to have any preference about people, calling it a version of "keeping score". In fact, "keeping score" was one of the worst things you could be accused of in my household. Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails…
Not caring what others think doesn’t mean you can’t “fit in.” Of course it sure doesn’t sound like that’s what she meant, but it’s still solid advice, I think.
I do lots of things that basically boil down to “social lubricant.” I really don’t care what most other people think, but I still “play nice” when it’s low-cost and easy because makes everything easier. I won’t go out of my way or expend too much effort to please others though. I’ll make socially acceptable small-talk but I’m not going to bother with designer clothes and fancy cars to fit in.
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
Did you get into climate change after finishing?
That is a totally fair question, and I have to admit I did not - nuanced stories don’t fit in an online comment! The Great Recession hit and Obama’s climate push failed[0], so I went into healthcare (as another thing that needed fixing, and which there was political will to do something about). The lessons of all of those twists are more complex, but I still firmly believe that I got the right advice given what every…
This reminds me of a tale told by Lawrence Block:
There's an old story about a young man who cornered a world-famous violinist and begged to be allowed to play for him. If the master offered him encouragement, he would devote his life to music. But if his talent was not equal to his calling, he wanted to know ahead of time so he could avoid wasting his life. He played, and the great violinist shook his head. "You lack the fire," he said.
Decades later the two met again, and the would-be violinist, now a prosperous businessman, recalled their previous meeting. "You changed my entire life," he explained. "It was a bitter disappointment, giving up music, but I forced myself to accept your judgement. Thus, instead of becoming a fourth-rate musician, I've had a good life in the world of commerce. But tell me, how could you tell so readily that I lacked the fire?"
"Oh, I hardly listened when you played," the old master said. "That's what I tell everyone who plays for me -- that they lack the fire."
"But that's unforgivable!" the businessman cried. "How could you do that? You altered the entire course of my life. Perhaps I could have been another Kreisler, another Heifetz--"
The old man shook his head again. "You don't understand," he said. "If you had had the fire, you would have paid no attention to me."
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
"One day in the microkitchen I met Vint Cerf and told him what I worked on. He very curtly told me that he hates generic top-level domains, they confuse consumers, and ICANN should have been focusing on making .com / .org / .net better instead." You're lucky you didn't meet Stanislaw Ulam, who, when anyone told him about a project they were working on always responded with "What is that compared to E=mc^2 ?"
That's totally not the same thing though. Vint Cerf wasn't telling me I was but a mere footnote compared to his invention of TCP/IP. He thought gTLDs were actively harming the Internet.
Wait. Could you elaborate on this? What was his argument for that statement:
"He thought gTLDs were actively harming the Internet."
I might be missing something.
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#195After doing an internship at Daimler in autonomous vehicles, I planned to achieve my long-term plan to go work for the US auto industry in 1993.
A Ford engineer who had interviewed me implored me to go do anything else (at a Ford reception for college applicants). “Look, you’re going to get an offer from all 3 of us (US automakers) and you should go do something else for 5 years and if you still want to work in SVT or Motorsport (the two divisions I wanted), apply directly to them.”
If I had that guy’s name and address, I’d send him a Christmas card every year as tech was way better than working on glovebox handles and seat belt buckles.
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#196Earlier quoted context omitted.
"One day in the microkitchen I met Vint Cerf and told him what I worked on. He very curtly told me that he hates generic top-level domains, they confuse consumers, and ICANN should have been focusing on making .com / .org / .net better instead." You're lucky you didn't meet Stanislaw Ulam, who, when anyone told him about a project they were working on always responded with "What is that compared to E=mc^2 ?"
That's totally not the same thing though. Vint Cerf wasn't telling me I was but a mere footnote compared to his invention of TCP/IP. He thought gTLDs were actively harming the Internet.
Do you think he is right or wrong about gTLDs?
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#197"If a person’s behavior doesn’t make sense to you, it is because you are missing a part of their context. It's that simple." I have no idea where I saw that quote for the first time but it had a huge impact on my ability to comprehend people around me. Both in the private and work setting. Be kind to those around you even if their behavior does not make any sense to you.
Look up the fundamental attribution error
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#198[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#199Always take sides. By not taking a side you are automatically wrong. This doesn’t mean you should engage in identity politics, etc. but when faced with a choice take the time to make an informed decision. If you say something “should be a thing” you are automatically now in charge of creating it or convincing someone to create it. Do not tell people who are working on things that they should realize your idea if you…
This really should be the fist rule of the internet.:D
Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
As a consumer I am totally fine paying for things. But I hate being interrupted with ads for irrelevant shit I don’t want or need. Google and every other online advertiser is hilariously bad at guessing what I might be shopping for at the moment. Amazon comes close by remembering what products I looked at last. But Google is worse than dogshit when it comes to this. I’ll give you a typical example where Google could…
If you already know the product you are buying down to the model, Google isn't tailored for you. It's meant for people who have a vague idea and then pick what's at the top of the search results. This is why SEO has grown to be an entire profession.
I thought Google was a search engine. Why doesn’t it search as much as it misleads and distracts?