Earlier quoted context omitted.
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> It's not too late to find the truth. What is the truth?
www.zombo.com
I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
191–200 of 464 posts
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#192This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
What the point? Exceed your potential. Set goals like becoming rich, climb a mountain, start your company, fail many times if it takes it. Take 6 months off for around the world travel. You said you dont have the drive as before. That’s your choice. Drive is something we can choose and cultivate. If you’re happy the way you are then that’s one thing but I for one am not going to lean on my insignificance when compare…
Genuine question: how do you find these goals in the first place?
Do you just randomly put them out there and work for it so you can tick that checkbox?
Take for example starting a company. I had that goal before and today I know that'd take an enormous amount of effort and would take me away from my family and the few hobbies I have. All that doesn't guarantee I can make it, since the majority of companies fail and luck plays a huge factor there.
I could set that as a goal, but is it worth it?
Most people I talk to when we dive into why they set a particular goal for themselves, it comes down to a childhood dream or something set by society. That's why I don't see the point.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
> What's the point of it? Live for others. You (and I) are incredibly fortunate. We have our basic needs taken care of. We have more than that. There are many, many, people in the world who have problems that you can help solve. That could be - spending time with a lonely elderly person, volunteering with the homeless, building a website for a charity that can't afford to pay for a great one, building a startup that…
It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try
Remember to factor in a stint of isolation if you were in any form of lockdown
Don’t forget to give your social batteries a jump start if needed before evaluating long term goals. It’s hard to care when you’ve not had your quota of social interaction filled in a while. Caring about stuff is a positive side effect of ego, and ego needs social interaction for fuel (I might be talking nonsense here biologically, pinch of salt)
Whether this is relevant or not I wish you the best in finding the thing that clicks
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
Quoted post unavailable.
> It's not too late to find the truth. What is the truth?
I found this inspiring (biblical lecture from a scientific perspective)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-wWBGo6a2w
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#195Earlier quoted context omitted.
No kids, huh?
If that’s how a person without kids feels, isn’t having kids just creating another person who has to have kids to find meaning in their life (and on and on and on)? With the certainty of climate change, it feels like adoption is the only moral/ethical way to do this.
It’s a very pessimistic worldview. While it’s true that they are great filter ahead of us I think climate change is not the biggest concern.
Look into Tony Seba to see how fast the transition to RE is happening.
We could also geoengineering the climate if it become a real problem.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#196Personally, I’ve done some of my best work in my 40’s and 50’s. And so different to anything I was capable of doing in my 20’s and 30’s. The funniest thing is that I chose not only my university degree but also my optional modules based on a career choice that I moved on from well before I was 30. I don’t generally do regrets, but older me would tell younger me to relax a bit. There’s plenty of time and lots of thing…
Yeah but if older you had actually told younger you to relax a bit, would you be where you are now talking about how things are going well, or would you be like OP in the linked article? Sure it is true that opportunities usually never come from the places you are searching, but they don't come at all if you aren't searching.
For me, it was about stress. I never did and still have trouble enjoying good things in the moment, because I’m always thinking about the next thing and how I need to prepare for it. Even when it’s unnecessary…
Our younger selves would never listen to us now anyway, but I’d probably tell my younger self to meditate and be more positive. It’s free to have a positive attitude and it helps a ton.
I’m not sure about others, but I do think I’d be roughly in the same spot if I relaxed more. I’m skeptical how much doing that extra 1% effort really helped me get further when it cost me sleep or joy.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#197This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
> Yet we focus on these artificial goals set by childish dreams, society or life events.
I think this is your problem: you see artificial goals as a bad thing.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
> What's the point of it? Live for others. You (and I) are incredibly fortunate. We have our basic needs taken care of. We have more than that. There are many, many, people in the world who have problems that you can help solve. That could be - spending time with a lonely elderly person, volunteering with the homeless, building a website for a charity that can't afford to pay for a great one, building a startup that…
It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try
I had a similar feeling of pointlessness. For me I realized that that feeling stemmed from viewing myself as powerless and small in the face of the complexity and chaos of the world. How could I possibly make any meaningful change from where I am?
I came to believe that everyone is in that same boat. Those we look up to as having made "meaningful" change were just the right people in the right place and time and had relatively little control over that destiny. That probably won't be me or you, but it definitely won't happen to someone that starves to death, dies from a preventable illness or is just fighting to survive each day. So, I came to believe that the greatest leverage I have for making change in the world is to remove barriers for as many other people as possible and just increase the pool of people that might be the right person in the right place and time to solve the really big problems we all face.
Furthermore, spreading the idea that helping others is the best way to help the world can leverage a network effect. You might help the person that helps the person that is then able to solve a really big problem.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#199This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…
I used to feel a bunch of that same pointlessness, and I still do sometimes, but a novel helped me frame what I was feeling. Stoner (1965), by John Williams. It is not about drug use.
It essentially covers the life of an assistant lit professor born in 1891 that ended up not living up to his expectations in all areas of life and how he handles them internally. It really helped me draw meaning from my life again while I see friends have their money making them money and fly upwards in their careers and build their families.
Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.
Hard disagree. I wasted a lot of time before kids. All of the things I’m most proud of I’ve done since having kids.
+1. Having children causes one to be deeply, intimately invested in the future. “What kind of future shall we leave our children?” is just an abstract ideal to one who does not have children.