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Don’t be spooky

therealadam.com

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Re: Don’t be spooky

#191

Post by somnic »

mavelikara wrote: post #121
bookface wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't take as much issue with this happening the other way around. It's a rare opportunity for the information asymmetry shoe to be on the other foot.

> I don't take as much issue with this happening the other way around. That seems to imply that your opposition to a person not being spooked is not a moral one. Please tell us more about it.

A manager's anxieties over losing an employee are not equivalent to an employee's anxieties over losing their livelihood. So taking less issue with it is perfectly consistent with it being a moral position.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#194

Post by 5e92cb50239222b »

somnic wrote: post #191
mavelikara wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't take as much issue with this happening the other way around. That seems to imply that your opposition to a person not being spooked is not a moral one. Please tell us more about it.

A manager's anxieties over losing an employee are not equivalent to an employee's anxieties over losing their livelihood. So taking less issue with it is perfectly consistent with it being a moral position.

Depends on which employee it is. If you ever worked in economically depressed regions, you'd know what I'm talking about right away.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#195

Post by prox »

ssss11 wrote: post #160
Aeolun wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What could compel someone to want to start their Monday morning that way?

Prior to this job I’d hear people talk about terrible bosses and think they must be somehow exaggerating because I hadn’t experienced it, but no, these people exist. I almost think he was sociopathic or something. No one else I’ve ever come across has been any where near as cruel. In the end managing by force or coercion don’t work in my opinion, people don’t want to work for those managers. His entire leadership gro…

Can completely relate… I had a neurotic boss like that. My first job so I was woefully unprepared. He would hold unpaid meetings in the evening (but free pizza - yay?) and do a round. At least once a month there was a meeting where I saw a grown man or woman (in my eyes) cry/breakdown. Because I was junior I was kind of exempt from the worst of it, but after 12 months I was the heck out of there. Seeing someone go through an actual burn-out was crazy.

It probably pushed me to become self employed, chose the people I work with.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#196

Post by swiftcoder »

verve_rat wrote: post #124
Jolter wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would that be a more likely situation if you’re escorted out of the building on a Friday than it would be on a Tuesday?

So I'm a little confused. This whole thread implies that in the States you get laid off and ushered out of the building on the same day? Is that common practice? I understand that most(?) Of the US is an "at will" jurisdiction, but where I'm from all employment contracts have a notice period in them. So when employment is terminated, by either party, there is a 2-4 week period where the employee works out their notic…

Quite a few US tech firms will also immediately walk the employee out of the building when the employee expresses their intention to resign, and a few will even preemptively fire you as you give your notice to avoid paying you for a 2 week notice period. I know folks who won't give notice when they resign anymore, because this has happened to them several times.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#197

Post by bostik »

dylan604 wrote: post #82
dennyabraham wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately, for people that don't know you, this can be spooky to the other person while reassuring yourself. If you can be specific and provide context, you can prepare the person to engage you much faster and more effectively.

"You'll never guess what happened. Hit me up to find out more" if it works for headlines, why not messages to your co-workers?

Great. Clickbait meeting announcements, just the thing we need to reach the next level in this game of Corporate Dystopia.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#198

Post by tdeck »

wbharding wrote: post #65
webtopf wrote: post #5

It works the other way around too. As a manager, when some of my employees sent me messages like: "Can we talk when you have some time?" One of my immediate fears was that they are quitting because he found another job. That happened only once, the other 300 times it was just about something they were working on and needed more information.

I suppose it depends on how many meetings you have? In our company's culture of few meetings, about 90% of the time I received a Slack message "Can we chat when you have a quick minute?" it was indeed the employee quitting. Eventually I would just respond in Slack to confirm they wanted to quit, so we could skip the dog & pony show that is assumed to be necessary for a "proper resignation," which I don't think employ…

> Eventually I would just respond in Slack to confirm they wanted to quit

Has this ever come back with a "no"? I would find it pretty unnerving to have a manager ask if I were quitting out of the blue, although I totally get why most of the time that pattern means a resignation.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#199

Post by tdeck »

nuclearnice1 wrote: post #11

It’s good advice for many circumstances. Do a little 5 whys analysis and ask why in the absence of information your employees are moved to terror. It might be a normal human reaction and an unavoidable power asymmetry between labor and management. On the other hand, if the median expectation is terror, perhaps that provides some valuable information about the background energy left behind from all your other communic…

I've never had a "terrifying" manager or even a particularly bad one, but my personality type is such that I would worry about these things and dream up possibilities. It's likely that many other people have a similar personality type, based on the comments here.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#200

Post by tdeck »

jrootabega wrote: post #60

I think the kind of managers who would follow this advice (i.e., decent humans) would just figure it out the first time they scared somebody. Many/most don't give a crap, or can't even conceive of their underlings as humans.

There are plenty of decent human beings who may not be good at reading these cues, or may not relate to this kind of anxiety. Don't assume because someone needed to read this advice that they're not a good person.
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